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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Finding lazy baby BF hard!

11 replies

Mamabear04 · 12/08/2022 10:49

DC2 is 4 weeks old and is EBF. We're doing well so far and he's gaining weight but I am finding BF really difficult.

DC1 was amazing at BF and latched on immediately and was a really efficient feeder (probably due to her reflux) and we managed to get to just over 1yo with our BF journey.

DC2 wouldn't latch straight away and I thought this might be because he was tired after the birth because we managed to get there after a couple of hours. Sometimes he is excellent at feeding - generally when he wakes up from a good sleep but if he is tired mostly before he needs to go to sleep her gets so fussy, is on and off the boob and gets himself so flustered he just can't latch due to crying. I'm finding it really hard and frustrating and not quite sure how to help him and in the evenings its especially bad (the witching hours are a bitch!) Most of the time DH has to take him to calm him down because I can't seem to do it (maybe he can smell the milk?)

DS also clicks sometimes when he feeds and I spoke to my HV about it. She checked and said he has a very slight tongue tie but because he is gaining weight, nappies are normal and its not sore to me to feed to take him off the boob when he clicks and let him latch properly to train the muscles in his mouth. I've tried this and he just gets flustered and then won't latch again and the more tired he becomes the more stressful it is. I've just been persevering but I'm worried I'm going to screw myself over with not taking him off and sorting his latch. I'm just not sure what to do and it's getting me down. I also got mastitis 2 weeks ago and I'm terrified to take him off when he is tired incase he won't latch again and then I get mastitis again. I know a lot of people on MN will say get the tongue tie sorted but what can I do if the HV won't refer me? Is there something else I can do make feeding easier?

OP posts:
Somethingsnappy · 12/08/2022 16:31

A very quick reply, because I'm in a rush...I'm a BF counsellor. My opinion is that if he is gaining weight and feeding is comfortable for you, not to worry too much about the clicking noise. Some babies even do this on purpose to control the flow, if you have a fast letdown. Even if it is entirely related to the tongue tie, it doesn't sound like it's causing a problem. Most likely, as his mouth gets bigger, his tongue more flexible, and his feeding more effective, the clicking will resolve naturally anyway. I don't think it's worth un- latching him and upsetting the feed. One of my babies made a clicking noises after a TT division. It wasn't a problem and as he got older, it just went away.

Somethingsnappy · 12/08/2022 16:36

P. S. Also, if you haven't already heard of it, google biological nurturing/laid back BF. This is a wonderful position to use to get a realky deep and effective latch, and also to encourage babies to BF when they are fussy and reluctant. Skin to skin in this position is even better x

Somethingsnappy · 12/08/2022 16:39

If you do want to get the tt sorted, it is possible to go private (and much quicker). It would cost in the region of £140. Even if he is gaining weight, a TT can make feeding more tiring and be the cause of fussiness at the breath. It can be frustrating if they are very hungry and desperate to get the milk out in a hurry x

Mamabear04 · 13/08/2022 12:04

@Somethingsnappy THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR THIS!!! Cannot express how helpful it is. I stopped taking him off and trying to sort the latch yesterday and it has been so much easier and he is so much happier. He is still very fussy when he is tired but it helps to know that he is tired. I tried introducing a dummy as well and it seems to help him calm down sometimes and latch better? Maybe I'm just imagining that because I'm sure I heard its best not to give BF babies a dummy. Thanks again for all your advice and knowledge ❤

OP posts:
Somethingsnappy · 13/08/2022 14:13

I'm so glad it was helpful! If you find the dummy helps him by keeping him calm, then it definitely sounds like the best thing for you both. Sometimes general recommendations are just that... general, and don't fit individual circumstances. His dummy is keeping him calm, and perhaps helping to strengthen his sucking reflexes too! Trust your own judgement on this, definitely! Again, advice stating to avoid clicking noises whilst feeding is just a general thing. A clicking noise doesn't always have to mean there's a problem. Sounds like you're doing pretty well actually.

Pinkywoo · 13/08/2022 14:40

Have you tried feeding lying down? When DS gets over tired and won't latch this is the best way to get him to have a proper feed, and then he goes straight to sleep. It also takes the strain off my back and neck, and isn't as hot as having him on me in this weather.

TowerStork · 16/08/2022 04:57

@Mamabear04 I had similar issues with slight tongue tie and a regular latching refusal. The solution was to use a side position or laying down position. if I really need to drain the breasts, I Iay the baby down flat and lean my chest over. Also used a dummy from week 1- baby loves it.

Mamabear04 · 16/08/2022 16:40

@RubyRoss thanks so much for the tips! Do you find that your baby will latch feeding lying on your side even when they are being fussy? Glad the dummy has worked. We are on day 2 of dummy refusal!

OP posts:
TowerStork · 16/08/2022 18:34

@Mamabear04 most of the time. It didn't work this morning because she was too agitated and needed to calm down first. Sometimes I have to try a few different side positions and it's not as comfortable for me so I hope it's a short phase. But I think I will do it every now and again anyway because she completely drains the boob when feeding this way

Mamabear04 · 17/08/2022 11:35

@RubyRoss I'm glad it's working for you! My main obstacle is that when DS star to cry there is not chance of any kind of latch until he's calmed down. Either DH has to take him because he gets more and more upset with me or he needs a wee sleep to get his energy back to try again. Makes it very difficult!

OP posts:
TowerStork · 17/08/2022 17:05

@Mamabear04 it's so hard when they won't feed and get upset. I'm using the Haaka to give her some milk peacefully though a bottle.

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