Breastfeeding is harming my baby and I'm devastated

[theotherfossilsister]

My son, partner and I are in a family room in transitional care on the neonatal unit. My son is two weeks old but was born at thirty five weeks and was severely underweight due to IUGR. He can latch with nipple sheilds, but since his feeding tube went on after he pulled it into his throat and made choking sounds, we have been using bottles (some of my milk plus nutriprem.)

The other day I put him to the breast before every feed. Our end goal is at least partial breastfeeding. He became very tired, stopped having wet and dirty napoies despite getting his bottles as well and became lethargic. I thought we were doing so well but those ten minutes at the breast at every feed were using all his energy.

Today we're back trying feeding but I'm in currently plugged into the pump while my partner finishes his bottle feed. We're going home on Monday all being well and I really want to establish breastfeeding when we're there but desperate not to exhaust my tiny baby. My supply on the pump is only half of what he needs too, although he needs some nutriprem to grow.

I love him madly and when breastfeeding works it's the best thing ever.

You aren’t harming him quite the opposite breastmilk is the BEST thing for him ! Each day that passes he will get a little stronger . Maybe do just 5 mins before each bottle - even if he’s only getting a tiny amount of breastmilk the benefits are still huge !
good luck xx

Are you getting enough support on the unit with feeding? Has he seen a speech and language therapist? They may suggest other tricks or techniques.

Bless you, you aren't harming him! It's just a tough situation.

DD1 wasn't premature but she couldn't latch on for six weeks and then it took another six before she could feed efficiently enough to switch to EBF. If you're committed to breastfeeding and want to persevere with it then you can continue pumping until he grows enough to feed a bit better. You can always just put him on a couple of times a day for comfort and to keep him used to the breast. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I expressed for DD and while it was hard work it was worth it when we finally got to breastfeeding full time, so just keep at it if you are passionate about it.

Breast milk is so good for prem babies so you're doing amazing ❤️

Best of luck with this... but please, please don't beat yourself up of breastfeeding doesn't work out. You have a extra challenge with a really tiny baby, and bfing can be hard enough as it is. If it doesn't work out, just remember you are lucky to live in a time and place that has alternatives for your precious baby x ❤

Also with pumping, I made sure to pump 8 times a day at least and definitely at least once overnight as that tends to be when milk production is at its highest.

Hiya, I just wanted to say that I had similar with my one of mine and he did get there in the end and did end up breastfed. Don't loose hope, mine also was slightly premature and didn't latch initially, had jaundice and needed light therapy and had a tongue tie. Has yours been assessed for that? He also needed a feeding tube which he also pulled out and then had six formula top ups a day by bottle followed each time by an expressed feed and me then pumping for the next feed. Very gradually I was able to completely replace a formula feed with pumped milk. Drink plenty of water and foods containing oats will help with supply as well as trying to grab rest whenever you can. Remember you have been through such a lot since the birth and you are doing so well. Is there infant feeding support where you are. Homestart etc?

Have you ensured that the pump has the right sized flanges for your nipples? It makes a big difference to the output. Is it a hospital pump? Have they recently replaced all the vaIves, tubes and duckbills? This makes a massive difference to output too.

Thank you all. We're getting help but all the nurses seem to contradict one another. Some say do this, some say do that. It doesn't help that I also broke my right arm a while ago and can only do cradle position, the one he is comfortable with, with my left arm. Some say feeding is exhausting, don't do it, others really push it. One stuck my breast in the pump and ramped the volume to full right away, I requested not to have her again.

Five minutes before every feed sounds good.

The doctors say it's great I want to me breastfeed and of course we'll support you, then they go and I get different nurses every day, all lovely except volume nurse.

We have a homestart volunteer coming when we're home though and she has said she's happy to come three times a week

My son is wonderful. Currently making tiny baby noises in his crib. He's just posseted up some of his bottle though. I want so badly to feed him.

@fyn thanks, they actually gave me new suction things. I've also been given a pump which is at home but hiring the one I'm familiar with for week one.

I've been on the pump ages and only got forty ml. When I squeeze there's still milk but I'm hopeless at catching it in the bottle.

Has anyone talked to you about a supplemental nursing system? It's a bottle with a thin tube that you tape near your nipple while you breastfeed so your baby gets the supplement at the same time. It means they don't need to work as hard for their milk, your breasts get extra stimulation and it takes the time off the breastfeeding-bottle feeding regime.

You can buy a Medela one online if it's something you'd be interested in trying.

I couldn’t breastfeed so exclusively pumped until over a year. Midwives don’t really know a lot about pumping really. Which pump do you have?

If you have the right flange sizes it shouldn’t hurt at all. I had to pump for thirty minutes to completely empty, first in the mode that vibrates to stimulate and the rest to extract milk.

There is a Facebook group called ‘Exclusively Pumping UK Mums’ who will be able to give you best advice about how to use the pump effectively and how to get more milk. You can’t mentioned breastfeeding on it but they will be able to help.

I have some experience of nicu and bf, my twins were born at 34 weeks and we had ten days in there. I also found all the nurses said different things, and not all trained on or supportive of breastfeeding. I did eventually track down one fantastic nurse who really helped me get feeding established. If you can stretch to it a session with a lactation consultant might be helpful. Preemie babies do tire quickly so it will probably take some time to get bf established. I was told at 34 weeks the suck reflex has only just developed si it can take them a while to get the hang of it. Many congratulations on your son. It sounds like you are doing a great job with pumping. Any breast milk your son is getting will be giving him great health benefits.