confused by drs advice at 6 week check - please advise me

[sushistar]

So ds is 6wks, exclusively breastfed, he and i are enjoying it and he's gaining weight. We co-sleep, mainly because he likes to feed alot at night. Luckily we're getting on well with the feeding so i can doze while he feeds, and he doesn't cry as he gets fed on demand so dh is also getting a good night's sleep. At 6 week check dr said she 'wouldn't leave the co-sleeping for too long' as it would be very difficult to get him to sleep on his own. I explained it was mainly to make bfing easier, and she reckoned i should give him a bottle of formula at night so he could more easily sleep in his moses basket rather than with us. She said 'to be honest i think we sometimes push bfeeding too much...' and that the nutritional benefits tailed off quickly after the newborn stage.
I feel all worried now that if we continue to let ds in our bed it will just be awful when we try to get him to sleep seperately...

This is unfounded and incorrect advice. Please ignore her.

I mean the part about 'formula making him sleep better in his moses basket' and nutritional benefits of bf tailing off quickly after newborn stage'.

I don't have any experience of co-sleeping.

Your Dr is talking absolute b**cks.
The benefits of bfing go on for years - this is why international organisations like WHO recommend exclusive (nothing other than breastmilk and medicines) for 6 months, and breastfeeding for at least 2 years.
My DS mostly co-slept with us, and slowly chose to sleep in his own cot. At 19 months he sleeps in his own cot, in his own room from 7-7ish, without formula, controlled crying or much other intervention on our part. He used to bf to sleep, and stopped that of his own accord too.

Ooh, I'm all now about this sort of pish statments being made and worrying you.

sushi, what a shame the doc has undermined you like this.

You are meeting your baby's needs for comfort, love and milk in the night, and you are meeting your own needs for comfort and rest while doing so. What's not to like? You can teach your baby, if you want to, to sleep separately when the time feels good and ready for both of you. This does not have to be difficult.

Giving formula will affect your baby's health, and will undermine your breastfeeding.

It is utter rubbish that the nutritional benefits tail off after the newborn stage - why on earth would breastmilk become less nutritious for a baby? What would happen for this to be the case?

Many, many parents (inc me) co-sleep when their babies are young and then just find things change gradually and peacefully as time goes on - no struggles or fights at all.

Your doc should keep her opinions on parenting to herself

she's talking crap! Stick with it as long as you, babe and DP are happy!

i am not a BF expert but i believe in whatever it takes to get through the first few weeks and months - i wish i had co-slept when i was BFing ...

sounds like you are doing really well so i wouldn't change a thing

and formula won't make your baby sleep any better

She is talking absolute ROT. Complete and utter BOLLOCKS .

You should do 2 things.

Firstly, IGNORE EVERYTHING she has said to you. She clearly knows nothing about bf and should not be giving out any kind of advice on it. You are doing the right thing for you, your ds and your dh. 6 weeks is tiny, he's not going to develop any bad habits yet and if you and dh are happy to co sleep then the GP should not be making any comment other than ensuring you are doing it safely.

As for the crap about nutritional benefits.............I'm lost for words.

Secondly, you should write a letter of complaint to the practice manager and your PCT about her comments. It's not right that she's spouting this crap at new mums, some of whom may not be doing as well as you are with the bf.

Sorry, I'm not usually this bossy but ill informed GP's make me furious.

Keep doing what you're doing and congratulations on your baby!

thanks everyone. I sort of thought i was doing the right thing to be bfeeding on demand - including at night. It just made me wobble a bit and feel scared i was going to be making things awful for ds when we decide he should sleep alone. This dr is usually very good, that's why i felt so muddled!
Tiktok and cmot did your babies just gradually get happier sleeping alone?

Your happy. Baby is happy.

Dr is a dick. And clearly has not read the World Health Organisations info about the benefits of breastfeeding continuing upto 2 years of age (still recieve a quarter of their daily vitimins from breast milk). Something my health visitor was not informed about either, or wanted to hear from me

Your doing a fantastic job, carry on as before.

And as for sleeping separately, for me it occured naturally...I used to breastfeed my dd all day every day for about 6 months. Then at 7 months old she stopped sleeping on boob, so I popped her in cot...took about 3 days to get her used to it and after that she was fine to go down to sleep.

sushistar - you do what feels right to you and makes you & baby happy. Dr is talking rubbish. No reason why bf baby won't be happy in moses basket or that formula fed will be. Can;t comment on co-sleeping, but will definitely look into it next time as long as lo quieter feeder than dd (if I fed in bed she woke dh up with her gulping).
DD did sleep in moses basket & then crib next to bed, but we put her down for naps either in the crib (when it was downstairs) or her cot during the day, and at 7pm (ish) - just transferred her to our room when we went to bed. It meant when dh evicted her on Christmas eve for singing (at 2.30am for 4th day in row) that it wasn't traumatic for her. But don;t worry about it - your lo will be fine with whatever feels right to you. Remember you know ds best.

Yes - he would bf to sleep, and then I'd put him down in his cot, and then when he woke, bring him into the bed to feed, and then return him to the cot at some point later. He slowly spent more time in his cot as he spaced out his feeds. He decided to not feed to sleep eventually, and then just had num nums and into his cot for story. As he then cut out his night feeds, he spent less and less time in with us.
The 'No Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley is a fantastic book that talks about co sleeping and extended breastfeeding in a positive way as does 'Night Parenting' by Dr Sears.

Alas, many health professionals do not know a lot about breastfeeding, so can come out with some amazingly bad advice. You are meeting your babies most basic needs, and by co-sleeping, yours too by getting some good sleep.

I'm jealous. I wish I could co-sleep but DH is a light sleeper and it just ain't possible.

For what it's worth I agree with the comments above. DR is talking rubbish, well done for BF and congrats on the baby.