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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Am I too late for breastfeeding?

93 replies

45redballoons · 27/05/2022 01:49

Hello,

I have a 1 week old daughter and my milk is still not in to fully satisfy her on breastmilk alone for a single feed.

In the hospital I tried feeding her but it was never enough and straightaway went to adding formula. Everytime she needs fed I put her on the breast first and she drinks but for the past day she doesn't drink for long before falling asleep.

I had a hand held pump for expressing but found it no good at this stage so ordered an electric one which only just arrived on day 6. I'm getting around 20ml.

I'd love to be able to breastfeed exclusively for most feeds but I'm worried it has been too long now and my milk won't come in. I'm in awe that anyone had a satisfied baby on breastmilk so quickly, it just never happened for me and she constantly screams and chews her hands if I don't give formula too.

What do you think?

Thanks

OP posts:
KatieKat88 · 28/05/2022 06:30

If you're in England (not sure about other areas) ask to be referred to your local infant feeding team - the one in my area was amazing. Hopefully they can help you with a plan to reduce top ups and keep it manageable. Keep feeding, cluster feeding is huge at this age and it's exhausting so recruit anyone who will help to do anything else needed (cooking, changing nappies etc). Keep hydrated and watch lots of TV! Ditch the pump for now (as a PP has said, it's not a good indication of supply). It's still really early days - you're doing fine.

Original poster
45redballoons · 28/05/2022 07:14

The midwifes both at the hospital and the one that visits are the ones who told me to express, they told me to do it every 3 hours. They have also seen her latching and told me it's fine and should be enough, so I'm not really sure what else they would do. I spoke to them yesterday and again they told me to express.

OP posts:
Blimeyherewegoagain · 28/05/2022 08:14

I EBF both my children and never managed to express- nothing much came out. I decided then it was a waste of my already precious time. As others have said, your baby is the best stimulation for milk production.

I know it’s stressful but try to relax if you can, lots of slow outbreaths - the more relaxed you can be the better.

It will take a few days.

Same1977 · 28/05/2022 15:59

45redballoons · 28/05/2022 07:14

The midwifes both at the hospital and the one that visits are the ones who told me to express, they told me to do it every 3 hours. They have also seen her latching and told me it's fine and should be enough, so I'm not really sure what else they would do. I spoke to them yesterday and again they told me to express.

As someone who exclusively expresses I'd suggest joining pumping group.Pumps etc are all different and suit different people.

Pollywoddles · 28/05/2022 16:25

45redballoons · 28/05/2022 07:14

The midwifes both at the hospital and the one that visits are the ones who told me to express, they told me to do it every 3 hours. They have also seen her latching and told me it's fine and should be enough, so I'm not really sure what else they would do. I spoke to them yesterday and again they told me to express.

Yeah, I don’t know why they are telling you that. It would be more productive for you to spend the time you spend washing, sterilising and pumping just doing skin to skin, feeding and resting. I get that they’re probably trying to increase your supply by pumping and giving your nipples a break but I think it’s just adding extra stress and letting the baby suck would be simpler.

BertieBotts · 28/05/2022 16:32

OK but just expressing every 3 hours and "the latch should be fine" is not a sustainable long term plan.

Can you call them back and ask to be put on a feeding plan with the goal of getting back to full breastfeeding?

Has your baby been checked for a tongue tie? Do you have any pain while latching?

Is your milk in now? ie when you express, are you getting recognisably white milk, and how much?

timeisnotaline · 28/05/2022 16:38

The classic advice is to go to bed with baby for 24 hours, drink tea and water and eat flapjacks and whatever else you feel like and cuddle and feed and sleep with baby.
20ml sounds great to me for expressing a week in, but agree that I’d just feed rather than express at this stage, baby is the best milk supply booster. Lansinoh for your nipples!

Original poster
45redballoons · 28/05/2022 18:10

I've spoken to someone on the breastfeeding network who has no idea either, my milk should be in by now.

I think I'm done. I feel like a failure but I'm not sure continuously being upset is the right answer and perhaps I need to just accept and move on.

OP posts:
Original poster
45redballoons · 28/05/2022 18:12

And no pain, the midwife said it looked all correct.

The milk is looking lighter, still more yellow than regular milk but not as yellow as at the start.

OP posts:
JakeyRolling · 28/05/2022 18:14

It's not too late. You just have to remember that constant feeding doesn't mean she isn't getting enough, that's how they build your supply (more "orders" means more milk). As long as there are wet and pooey nappies there's stuff going in.

KatieKat88 · 28/05/2022 18:17

That sounds like your milk is coming in - it starts to look thinner too. I agree that if you want to continue then you need a long term plan of how to move forward so I'd go back to the midwives and at least get an agreement to review in X days and then see what to do next - but you're in no way a failure whatever you choose to do. Breastfeeding can be bloody difficult and a lot of it is down to luck as to whether it clicks easily for you and baby/if you get the right support to get through any issues.

surreymum89 · 28/05/2022 18:32

Why is it you think your milk is not there? X

Blimeyherewegoagain · 28/05/2022 19:03

It sound like you’re almost there OP! If your milk looks thinner it’s because your colostrum is finished and so the regular milk will be starting. Why not give it the weekend and see what happens?

timeisnotaline · 28/05/2022 23:12

Have they dismissed reflux? If you’re feeding non stop perhaps it’s that, your milk sounds normal.

Bellyrumble · 29/05/2022 23:04

Hi OP, how are you doing? Congratulations on your baby!

I was in your shoes 8months ago. He didn’t actually latch and feed until he was 14 days old. It was slow going but we are now almost exclusively breastfeeding.

do you have a local bosom buddies (I’m in Yorkshire there are lots of groups luckily) and our infant feeding team had a very good staff member who helped me loads.

if you’ve decided it’s not for you then that’s also absolutely fine, just wanted to check on how you’re feeling xx

Original poster
45redballoons · 30/05/2022 04:10

Hi, I'm still going through the motions, but seeing absolutely no improvement. I think I've missed the boat abd it's too late now.

OP posts:
KatieKat88 · 30/05/2022 06:58

45redballoons · 30/05/2022 04:10

Hi, I'm still going through the motions, but seeing absolutely no improvement. I think I've missed the boat abd it's too late now.

What makes you think you're seeing no improvement OP?

CeeceeBloomingdale · 30/05/2022 07:05

I have no idea when my milk came in (and I BF two children for two years each). Expressing early isn’t great, it’s best to wait for supply to be fully established. If you want to persevere I’d do the 24 hours in bed suggested above. Baby feeding constantly stimulates supply, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are hungry. You need to speak to a BF expert, midwives rarely have a clue on how best to proceed.

Same1977 · 30/05/2022 08:05

45redballoons · 30/05/2022 04:10

Hi, I'm still going through the motions, but seeing absolutely no improvement. I think I've missed the boat abd it's too late now.

Just to let you know it is possible to relactate after significant time (year etc).In your case it certainly isn't over.My milk took time to come in too

Original poster
45redballoons · 30/05/2022 08:10

KatieKat88 · 30/05/2022 06:58

What makes you think you're seeing no improvement OP?

Show quote history

Because she is never satisfied by a feed from me. After about 45 minutes she starts pushing away and crying and frantically eating her hands.

OP posts:
Same1977 · 30/05/2022 08:17

45redballoons · 30/05/2022 08:10

Because she is never satisfied by a feed from me. After about 45 minutes she starts pushing away and crying and frantically eating her hands.

Show quote history

Babies get comfort from sucking even if they are not hungry.Thats why dummies work for example.My daughter hated them but was always sucking her hand.She is 75 percentile so clearly was getting enough milk.
Plus babies eat differently too.My daughter loved to snack.Never ate a lot but a little and often and sometimes that often was every 30 or so mins.This does change !

timeisnotaline · 30/05/2022 08:30

45redballoons · 30/05/2022 08:10

Because she is never satisfied by a feed from me. After about 45 minutes she starts pushing away and crying and frantically eating her hands.

Show quote history

What is her weight op? Is it dropping to lower curves on the charts? Has she lost more than 10% of her birth weight?
At this point it’s completely normal for baby to weigh less than born. The general rule is anything up to 10% loss from birth weight at one week old is completely normal - my now 3.5monrh old was 9.5% down at one week old. It’s very difficult to work out how much milk a breast fed baby is getting -the first thing they look for is wet and dirty nappies to try and see if baby is getting enough milk- how are those doing?
i wouldn’t expect you to continuously have milk for 45 mins, re your comment that after 45 mins she’s crying and turning her head away, and it’s also perfectly normal she doesn’t want to comfort suck for 45m, remember sucking takes energy too and teeny babies tire very easily! If you feed for 20 mins every 2/2.5 hours that should be enough. My baby was fine and started putting on weight a bit slowly at a month old so I started making sure I fed her every 3 hours (from start of feed to start of feed).

i would never want a baby to actually go hungry due to continued breastfeeding efforts if it’s not working, and formula is a lifesaver. It’s still unclear with your baby however if she’s doing absolutely fine and youre struggling with the challenge of knowing baby is ok when lots about breastfeeding is not standard knowledge anymore, or if she’s actually not getting enough. The weight change and wet/dry nappies is the very first question to ask on that- can you tell us the answers to that?

timeisnotaline · 30/05/2022 08:31

And when I say feed for 20 minutes some feeds are 8 or 10, that’s normal!

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 30/05/2022 08:38

You need to contact a breastfeeding specialist rather than a midwife.

spend the day just relaxing with the baby skin to skin as much as possible. I did not leave the house for two full weeks after having my first. It was considered perfectly normal as my mum / aunts didnt even leave hospital for two weeks after they gave birth. I didnt do any housework either. My dh and mum did it. My job was literally just feeding the baby. Sometime she wouldnt move for an hour. Sometimes she was using me as a dummy as ingot good at knowing the difference and unhooking so she didnt wake up.

any noise and movement and grab and straight on the boob for the first few (6)weeks.

5zeds · 30/05/2022 08:42

I have five children and this sounds like the beginning of feeding for most babies. To increase supply you need to stop (or reduce) the formula. Put your feet up and stay hydrated and eat well. I personally wouldn’t express at all. It muddles everything.