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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding in public

37 replies

Honeyhoney2 · 05/05/2022 21:48

I have a 7 week old DD and we are exclusively breast feeding. This weekend I’m going out for lunch with DH and my in laws and it will probably be the first time I’ll have to feed my baby in a public space because the walk there is pretty long and we tend to be out for a while when we go for a meal with my in laws.

I feel a little nervous. As normal as I know it is, and as much as I know my rights to breastfeed my baby in public spaces, I still worry that someone might come up to me and say something (even though they’ll look like the asshole if they do), I also worry a bit about the logistics of getting my baby to latch as sometimes she latches straight away but other times she fusses and pops on and off my nipple and again, I know it’s just a nipple, but it’s still hard to get past the mental block of potentially flashing a load of strangers - and my father in law for that matter!

does anybody have any words of encouragement or even any tips for breastfeeding in public places? I hope to be a pro one day and just get the job done when I’m out and about, but I’m nervous about doing it for the first time and can’t help worrying that sods law will mean she won’t just have a nice calm feed, and it will probably be one of the times where she fusses at my nipple mid let down and my boobs spray everywhere like a shaken champagne bottle (extra milk with your tea, anyone?)

OP posts:

PumpkinsandKittens · 05/05/2022 21:51

I’ve bf 4 kids in public in all kinds of places bus/train/bench, no one has ever said anything

parkrunsandpinot · 05/05/2022 21:53

Feel free to turn away, or take yourself off alone if you'd feel more comfortable? Sometimes I'd just move away if with a group. Well done you mama doing a fabulous job xxx

ISeeTheLight · 05/05/2022 21:54

I breastfed for over a year and never had any negative or judgy comments. If people commented it was positive encouragement or to offer a drink/seat etc. I literally fed everywhere - walking around the supermarket etc. Never used any covers either.

HollysBush · 05/05/2022 21:54

Used to feed mine on the bus in the late 90’s. I was 19 and shy. If I can do it, you can!

Kay7766923 · 05/05/2022 21:54

I've been feeding my child for 18 months now and not once has anyone said anything to me. Try not to worry although I know it's difficult getting those first few times out of the way. I often used to tuck a muslin in to my bra strap and half drape it over the baby's face/boob area because he is a tinker who would fuss and fuss and it made me more comfortable.

Well done on breastfeeding, it's been one of my favourite parts of parenting so far.

FluffMagnet · 05/05/2022 21:55

I used a breastfeeding ‘cape’ from Amazon whilst I got the hang of feeding without displaying myself to the world. Don’t bother with it anymore mind, but it is pretty cheap.

cowsaysmoo · 05/05/2022 21:58

At first I was a bit worried too and just used a muslin to cover up (one corner tucked in under bra strap to stay in place).
After a while I felt so comfortable that I stopped using the muslin.
Good luck, you will do great!

GoldenPineapple88 · 05/05/2022 21:58

I breastfed for a combined total of 5 years, in every place you can imagine - parks, trains, restaurants - and I never had any hassle in all that time. People mostly dont notice or care!

The only attention I ever drew was exclusively from older ladies, usually to tell me how wonderful it was 😀Just😀Just concentrate on your baby and enjoy!

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 05/05/2022 21:58

I remember that feeling well, my first was 6 weeks old when we spent Christmas with the in-laws and my parents and I was just terrified about flashing everyone!
Some things that might help are:
planning your outfit and practising feeding at home in it
practicing in front of a mirror
(I'm not entirely sure how to describe this so bear with me) take a muslin and firmly tuck a corner round your bra strap on the side you're planning to feed from and loosely lay the rest over the top of your boobs. Then as soon as you've got baby latched you can sort of tuck it around and make sure you are covered up as you want to be without it getting in baby's way. If you prefer to use it as a nursing cover and don't have a big muslin then doing the tuck trick with diagonal corners on both bra straps should give you enough space to build a kind of muslin shield that doesn't include on baby too much
Best of luck

CafeNervosa · 05/05/2022 21:59

I’ve breastfed both of my babies in lots of public places and no one has ever said anything to me. I’ve also never noticed anyone even looking really…

I always wear a strappy top with a tshirt over the top so that I can lift up the tshirt and it then acts as a sort of cover I can lower over my boob. The baby’s head covers the rest so I think it’s possible to be really discrete if you need to be.

Try to prepare by taking something to help you be more comfortable. I always need to use a pillow or a folded up bit of clothing to support baby when I’m sitting, so I’ll make sure I have a suitable jumper in the change bag - just incase where you’re going doesn’t have a cushion you can pinch.

Dont be nervous. After a while you don’t even think about it anymore. X

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 05/05/2022 22:01

I had nothing said to me ever.

PumpkinsandKittens · 05/05/2022 22:01

I use to do the Muslin thing as well tucked into my bra strap as I didn’t like the two top method personally didn’t cover babies face though just me, no one commented at all ever not even to say something positive, no one really noticed

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2022 22:01

Aww, of course it can be nerve wracking when you’re starting out. One good tip is practise in front of a mirror in what you’ll be wearing. I bet there’s way less visible than you imagine, even if she’s slow to latch.

Do you usually use a muslin when you feed her? DD was a bugger for having milk coming out of her nose so I always tucked a muslin under my arm and sort of around the boob to catch it and that gave me a bit of cover.

The first time I fed out and about was in a cafe with my step kids. I fed her and popped her back on my lap and DSS asked me if I was going to feed her - he hadn’t even noticed I’d already done it.

You’ll be fine, I promise. No one likes a crying hungry baby so feeding is always better than that!

I’ve had so much kindness feeding in public, glasses of water, nice comments, offers of help. Most people don’t notice, those who do are nearly always nice about it.

ShirleyPhallus · 05/05/2022 22:02

I only had positive comments, usually from old ladies telling me how wonderful I was. That was really really lovely actually.

The only odd looks you get are from when people glance over then realise what you’re doing then awkwardly look away, I don’t think in real life people actually care. Unless you’re one of those zany types who whips your boob out and rests it on the table for the 5 mins before you get your baby ready to latch.

Good luck, its a bit daunting but before you know it you’ll be able to do it really quickly and barely notice

FoxtrotSkarloey · 05/05/2022 22:04

I also never had anyone say anything and don't think anyone stared.

Similar to others, but rather than use a muslin, I used to tuck a thin shawl (much bigger than a muslin) into my bra strap for a bit of privacy.

OdeToSadDisco · 05/05/2022 22:05

Have you got time for a 'practice run' befoe the day of the meal? Just pop out to a coffee shop or something with DH or a friend and try feeding there.

I was nervous the first time but soon realised no one was taking any notice. I fed mine for a couple of years each, wherever I happened to be, and got gutted once in all that time, everyone else either took no notice or was positive.

If you wear one up one down (a loose fitting top to lift up over a stretchy vest you pull down) nothing is on show.

Aria2015 · 05/05/2022 22:05

Aw you'll be just fine! When I go out, if I'm eating out somewhere I tend to sit with my back to the room (for my own privacy, not for anyone else!). I also wear the breast feeding tops that you can subtly get your boobs out of, the ones that pull up, keeping the top of my breast covered (not sure if that makes sense). I then find that my baby's head basically blocks out my boob once she's on so I don't really feel exposed. You can of course use a cover or even a muslin slung over the shoulder that's the same side I'm feeding from, gives a title extra privacy.

I've breastfed both my dc (still breastfeeding my second) and I've never had a negative comment in public. In fact, I've had the opposite. I've had women come up and say how lovely it is to see me feeding and people falling over themselves to make me comfortable in various establishments- offering me water etc...

It can be a bit tricky in the early weeks when latching is hit and miss. My only advice is to try not to get flustered and don't leave feeding until your baby is super hungry. If they're crying, it's always more stressful! I tend to try and feed while they're still in good spirits and more patient with me!

Good luck! You'll do great! Congratulations on your baby and enjoy your breastfeeding journey!

OdeToSadDisco · 05/05/2022 22:06

Got tutted once, not gutted!

Lou98 · 05/05/2022 22:11

I never BF my Son but when I've been out with my friends/family with babies or similar ages they've BF and nobody has ever said anything. The most they've got is a few judgy looks but we just ignored them.

You're feeding your baby, it's natural, there's nothing to feel embarrassed about, anybody that's uncomfortable with you feeding your baby is the one that should feel embarrassed.

You can get breastfeeding covers that cover you up but you can still see down to see baby if it would make you more comfortable. Don't feel you need to as you definitely don't but if it would help you, even just for the first time, then it's worth taking one with you just in case

WoolyMammoth55 · 05/05/2022 22:20

Well done OP you're doing great!

Some of the covers have a sort of wire along the top to stiffen it (bear with me!! It'a not as weird as it sounds) so it sorts of makes a tent shape that gives you coverage but keeps lots of space and airflow around the baby so less likely to pop off.

I've got one like this: www.amazon.co.uk/Breastfeeding-Cover-Up-Nursing-Scarf/dp/B074N43JSY and it's genuinely impossible to see anything at all - you will be properly screened and IME it doesn't put bub off at all.

Best of luck!

Only4You · 05/05/2022 22:22

You know what I had more issues when I was trying to ‘hide away’ (eg in my car) than when sat on a street bench!

Youll have your DH and PIL with you. No one will come and make a comment to you.

Sprogonthetyne · 05/05/2022 22:23

I breastfed for nearly 5 years, over 2 children, and never had a stranger come up to me or say anything. In the early days DM did keep pointing out near by toilets "in case I wanted more privacy", but after a few "I'm fine" followed by a firm "my kid is not eating in a toilet", she got the message.

Once you get more confident I would recommend learning to feed in a sling, then you can feed on the go, and nobody can see anything. I walked round about half of Edinburgh zoo feeding DC2, while trailing after the toddler.

RoseslnTheHospital · 05/05/2022 22:26

I did the muslin bra strap tuck thing too. Never had a single comment from anyone and fed anywhere and everywhere I needed to.

Thejoyfulstar · 05/05/2022 22:31

I've breastfed everywhere you could possibly imagine. Once you get the hang of it, it's like second nature. I started off feeling so shy and nervous about flashing my nipple, and now, with DC3 I have to consciously remember to be more discreet! The first few latches can be a bit daunting. My advice would be to have someone with you the first few times, to hold the baby while you strategically get your clothes and nipple in the right places, to help you position the muslin and to act as a human shield while you latch the baby on. After a short while, you will be able to do it yourself. Sometimes trying to get a baby to latch on in public during those early days can feel like trying to park your car in a tight spot with half the town watching you. Having someone with you the first few times helps a lot, if possible.

Autienotnaughtie · 05/05/2022 22:34

I wore a bf vest that uncliped and a loose top over and popped baby under loose top.

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