giving up BFing 14-month-old - cold turkey or gradual?

[TheOldestCat]

I'm wondering if anyone has experience to share on this?

I'm BFing DD in the morning, then at 5pm when I get home from work and at 7:30. I've gradually cut back on her 1:30pm feed (at weekends and on the 2 days i work from home) and she is drinking some cow milk at nursery.

However, although she hasn't wanted night feeds since she was 3 months old, she's now waking around 3am and going bananas for the breast (I get thumped a lot!). She refuses to go back to sleep for longer than a few minutes and won't take water or milk in a cup.

Should I start night feeds again, nearly a year after they stopped? Or will this phase pass as she gets used to drinking more (cow) milk in the day? Ideally, I just want to feed her in the morning and at bedtime and then gradually stop it. Or maybe I should go cold turkey and stop BF now?

I'm loathe to BF her in the night because I work full time and am knackered enough. I know that sounds terribly selfish. Help!

i went from the same sort of feed times as you to cold turkey....and neither of mine questioned it...they got a cup of warmed milk before naptime or bedtime but a cold cup first thing...

i didn't want to have to wean off and then do it all again a few months later with the feeds i'd continued so decided cold turkey was best for me....

also you get thumped? does that mean you co-sleep?...that will make going cold turkey much harder...or is it because you pick her up in the night or something?

Thanks glsakham - I think cold turkey is the way. Glad it worked for you.

I do get thumped when I pick her up at night. She's not been sleeping well for months and we'd got her used to settling back in her cot with me or DH just stroking her hand or just popping into her room to check on her. But since we cut back on the feeds, she's hysterical with crying and I've picked her up. If DH goes to her she makes herself sick with crying until I appear. I think it's her way of telling us she would really like a BF.

You might consider whether she's going through a difficult phase, maybe some kind of developmental milestone and she needs to reconnect the home base, if you'll forgive the American reference...just a thought. If it's a phase, it might not last forever (meaning weeks/months in baby talk) but there are obviously no guarantees. And disclaimer, this is not from experience but rather from what I've read.

Cheers RoRoMommy - she's just starting to stand up so perhaps that's it? And it has coincided with her going back to nursery after the christmas break.

I bf both of mine until 18 months and I found the only way I could stop was cold turkey- it was surprisingly untraumatic both times!

Hi theoldestcat,

I gave up bf about the same age, gradually cut down the bf. I would try cutting out the 5pm feed and just giving her the 7.30 feed you might find she takes more then and settles better.
It is really difficult and you feel really guilty, but once you do it you do feel better, I felt I'd got my body back.
I spent 1-2 weeks cutting down the final 2 feeds, by giving him warm cow's milk instead of a feed in the morning and then eventually the same at bedtime, you might find it easier to get dh to do it.
Good luck
xxx

Thanks mrsruffallo and katyjo. Both methods (gradually cutting down feeds or going cold turkey) have their merits it would seem. I guess it just depends on the child. I'll have a chat with DH and see which way to go. Thanks again.

mrsruffallo - when you went cold turkey did you go out all day or go away. Any tips?

TOC - I moved the last feed until later - say 11pm, then she slept thru. Gradually dropped other feeds and moved last one back by 1/2 hour etc. until she was back at sleeping 8-8. Still bfing at 21 months and love how easy it is to get her to bed with a 10 min feed but that is the only one I do now. Whatever works for you but this worked round us really well

Thanks Jackstini - sounds like a good plan. It's all on the backburner for now as DD has croup and really just wants the boob!

Ah well - then you are doing the best thing for her anyway