Bf-losing hope! Any advice appreciated

[LaylaS]

I am a ftm to ds - he was ebf from day1 and had mild jaundice that required no therapy. He struggled with weight gain and I had plenty of bf support from midwives and lactation consultants
Who confirmed latchwas fine. At his 3 week check, still no weight gain, so we were advised every 3 hours, to bf and then top up his feeds with 60ml of either expressed breastmilk or formula. I tried pumping and it took me over 1hr to pump just 60ml. So after many tears (my end), and feeling deflated, we started formula topups.

Thankfully he has put on weight now at 4 weeks. And sleeping better as he is full. I like that my nighttime sanity is back. But I'm noticing he is getting super frustrated with the breast, that I give up and resort to formula and that he feeds 3-4oz of formula every 2 to 4 hours.

I was given the medela symphony pump a few days ago by hospital, and am trying it but hardly getting much. But i think more milk is made the more he feeds or pump?

I just feel super disappointed in myself. That it seems impossible to cut down the 8 bottles of fornula he is having a day - I dont mind cutting down to 2 to 3 formula a day and the rest bf- but my supply is so low.

I did lose 750ml of blood in labour which may have contributed to my slow milk supply.

Anyone been through anything similar- is it possible to cut down the formula bottles?
Please tell me it gets easier!

First of all big hugs, it’s all so hard!

I have no advice on the supply side of things (sure others way more qualified than me will be along shortly) but when you say he is getting frustrated at the breast, one thing I was advised when combi feeding was trying a nipple shield when the baby was frustrated and it did work!

Hey first off please be kind to yourself, you have been through a birth.

I was like this with my first, my milk didn't come in for a long time (6 weeks). She was a tiny baby and too sleepy to breastfeed. We had to wake her every 3 hours for the first 3 weeks, formula feed then try the breast for no more than 5 min on each side (normally assoep by then), then I had to pump for 30min, sleep and repeat. We changed to 4hrs over night and 3 during the day as we became snapping zombies. Pumping produced nothing for baby but i did it anyway.

I saw a lactation consultant at a local children's centre around 6 weeks and they encouraged me as she grew stronger to breastfeed more and before the formula top up. (Think doing this helped milk come in). Still pumping but only during the day so I could get long stretches of sleep - and 4am I think something to do with hormone levels.

I think a month later so she was about 10weeks at this point we went cold turkey on formula and she then breastfed with no formula until she gave up herself at 14months - wanted to play instead!

I won't lie it was hard work, tears and a very supportive husband and consultant but it is possible if you are determined to do it. However if it is hurting you in anyway formula is not the devil.

I had to top both mine up (first for weight loss) I did end Up just bf. I stuck to the top up plan and did not give any more tops.
I offered the breast every time ge gave the slightest hint of wanting feeding. I also did lots of skin to skin. I didn’t bother pumping instead I rested and ate and drank plenty of liquids. Drink more than you think you need and then drink more. Eat food that is full of energy. It doesn’t really matter what you eat just eat plenty. I presume you’re on iron tablets.

@tothemoonandbackbuses

I had to top both mine up (first for weight loss) I did end Up just bf. I stuck to the top up plan and did not give any more tops. I offered the breast every time ge gave the slightest hint of wanting feeding. I also did lots of skin to skin. I didn’t bother pumping instead I rested and ate and drank plenty of liquids. Drink more than you think you need and then drink more. Eat food that is full of energy. It doesn’t really matter what you eat just eat plenty. I presume you’re on iron tablets.

Thats the thing- they kept me in overnight post labour just to check my iron. And the blood test said iron levels were fine. So no iron tablets. Super ironic because i was prescribed high dose of iron tablets in my last trimester!

@MissingGrandstand

First of all big hugs, it’s all so hard!

I have no advice on the supply side of things (sure others way more qualified than me will be along shortly) but when you say he is getting frustrated at the breast, one thing I was advised when combi feeding was trying a nipple shield when the baby was frustrated and it did work!

Ahhh nipple shields! I did buy some but never used! Will try! Thanks

Are you pace feeding with the bottle? There's also a medela bottle teat that is supposed to replicate real breast feeding. As in if you make bottle feeding too easy they will prefer it.

Remember with pumping it's a hormonal response- look at videos of your ds when pumping to stimulate let down. And you are placing an order today for tomorrow's milk- so pump at 6pm today, you will make milk at 6pm tomorrow.
Also try a haakaa style silicone pump on the other boob when feeding.

Keep yourself super hydrated and porridge every morning- I swear it helps!

I had issues with supply with DD, had a big blood loss, probably why. Started significant top ups at 5 days. Anyway, it took weeks to slowly up the BF and reduce FF, don't expect it to be quick. Secondly, I just kept trying to BF that little bit longer each time, would swap boobs, do compressions (Google this if you don't know what I mean), and I'd check the time when baby started to get a bit fidgety, and I was thinking of moving to a bottle, and just try and do a couple minutes more. I did take fenugreek, don't know if it helped! Never got on with pumping. Bottles reduced from after every feed, to every other feed to 3 or 4 times a day and so on over several weeks. I had to be quite patient and if baby settled without a top up then I wouldn't give it. We still kept one FF bottle just for ease.

To add, I bf on demand, no schedule, lots of skin to skin, always offered breast before bottle even if recently fed. I did pump a bit to start with, never got much and it wasnt really worth it to feed the baby. However I did it if baby had drank quite a bit of formula and slept a while, so my boobs wouldn't go too long without having to make more milk. It is all a question of tipping the scales towards bf, every day you bf a few minutes more or get a bit more milk out of your boobs you'll make a bit more, need less formula and it creates a positive feedback loop. It was quite intensive but doable. But bf is not the be all and end all, if it's making you miserable, don't feel you have to do it. Good luck!

Please avoid using nipple shields. They could further reduce your supply and should only ever be used temporarily under the guidance of a IBCLC or the infant feeding team.
Only demand can increase supply. Putting baby to the breast as much as possible and offering breast before top up with a bottle and plenty of skin to skin through out the day can help. Let baby latch, as and when. Some mums finds doing this in the bath or in bed is a lovely bonding experience.
Look up pacefeeding for bottle top ups. Some mums find this can help reduce baby having bottle preference due to having to work harder at the breast than the bottle, which can lead to the frustration you mentioned.
You could contact the national breastfeeding helpline for more information.
You could also see if you have a breastfeeding Network group locally.
Talk with the team that advised top ups and explain ideally you'd like to reduce them when possible, they should support you to do so.

Ring your gp and ask for a blood test for iron deficiency as bf really takes it out of you.
I have been very anemic (there was a more serious underlying cause) but taking pregnacare vitamins with iron has kept my anemia at bay.

Sadly, you basically need to devote your life to stimulating your supply for a few weeks. Double pump to trick your body into thinking you have twins. Pump at night, when hormone levels are high. And feed DS whenever not pumping or sleeping. Your body will soon catch up

Oh HUGs OP , its not like how we imagine it,is it?
Firstly. Baby gaining weight and being healthy id MORE important than breast milk alone - weve been brainwashed by well meaning professionals!
Secondly, once the baby is feeding less often , you will be able to drop the formula i expect.

My Baby was the same : jaundice ( so sleepy AF for WEEKS!) and also tied, so no latch!
I was KILLING myself to pump/ try latching then fiddling about with sheilds then topping up with formula
Its utter madness.
I second the nipple sheilds and pace feeding. And make sure youre using a 0 or 1 teat as the breast will seem like hard work to baby ,compared to easy flowing bottle.
Nipple sheilds saved our feeding journey we used the Mam ones. And stuck to mam dummy's and bottles.
Once my baby was about 5 months, we got a latch and started to drop formula. Were now 13 months and still going.

And being able to give a bit of formula isnt a bad thing: ive been in hospital a few times and pumped there, but i knew my baby was safe and fed at home with DH with formula.

I used to aim for about 50/50 with milk/formula but if i coudlnt manage that and gave formula a bit more ( or some days less) then that was that.

And you must pump or feed between 12-3am x

With dc 1 , at 2 weeks he was losing weight, I had to top up, pump, and bf. I kept bf- ing. Due to lack of weight gain, I stayed up 48 hours straight, with an occasional 30 minute nap every few hours. I I kept bf- ing.

Both my sister's only bottle fed, kids were fine then and now.

But here I had a supportive network so I kept going.

Don't beat yourself up. Continue or stop bf ing. Your child will survive either way...

All the best