Should I stop breastfeeding?

[Feedingdilemma123]

More of a WWYD really.

I bf DD who is 6 months old. Have started BLW but not much gets to her mouth or eaten yet. I’ve started to consider switching to formula for a number of reasons but the thought fills me with a weird sense of sadness that I can’t really explain.

DD is very much only interested in me. I understand why and I am happy to be the night feeder and soother. I am however going back to work FT in 6 weeks time and I am starting to worry about the impact of going from being with me 24/7 to full time nursery. My role is stressful, I am the main earner and DH will be ‘first on call’ in terms of pick ups etc. She currently screams if I leave the room, or if anyone else holds her and she can’t see me. We have an older DS who wasn’t like this and he settled into nursery straight off. My parents think bottle feeding will enable them to take her off for a bit once a week and that problem will be solved.

The other thing is that DH and I both have sporting hobbies (him 1 evening a week and me 2 evenings a week - 1-1.5 hours each time). When DH goes, DD is fine but when I go, DD is usually crying when I come home. She’s fed as I am leaving and I’m never gone more than 1 hour 45 mins. There is also an expressed stash if needed so I know she won’t starve! DH understandably finds this stressful and thinks ff would solve it. I am reluctant to quit this as we’re both calmer, happier and fitter for going.

Lastly, DD’s sleep is awful and she will only sleep being held, with frequent wake ups. Therefore, I get sleep at the start of the evening and a bit more once DH is up for work. That won’t be sustainable once I am back at work but again, I am not sure formula will solve that!

If you’ve managed to get through that, I am not sure what I am asking really apart from whether or not formula would solve any of this? I like breastfeeding and it’s been an easy journey so far, would I regret stopping to try and solve the above? She hasn’t accepted a bottle before very recently and never tried formula if that’s useful.

Hopeful bump!

Formula will leave you in the same situation except now you also have to faff around with bottles and formula, washing, sterilizing, measuring. DH and your parents can give Baby expressed milk in a bottle if necessary . Formula will not be better in these situations.
You clearly want to keep breastfeeding. So keep going, listen to your heart and your baby!

Why not look into combi-feeding? It needn't be all or nothing! Does your daughter have a dummy, or special comfort item? If not now might be a good time to introduce one.

Also, once she starts taking more solids she can eat something appropriate when with your DH/parents.
Breastfeeding especially now you've got past the first few weeks/months is way easier than formula as long as you are still happy to continue

I’d keep going for now, I fed to 26 months and once they get on to food the breastfeeding pattern changes hugely. I wouldn’t want to take the comfort of breastfeeding away at the same time as returning to work either, you can BF when not at work and introduce a cup for milk at nursery. Avoid bottles now, just another thing to give up later.

I used to go off for 3-4hrs to look after my horse and ride after 6 months, just fed before I went and when I got back. It’s much easier to distract them with a ricecake or banana.

Basically what I am saying is that I’d wean on to solids when ready after 6 months, then reassess when you see how much BF reduces. It was really rather different once they are on food too.

Sleepwise, I think it makes sod all difference though. But I loved the reconnecting from
BF after work.

Thank you for the perspectives. I will keep things as they are for now and try to just enjoy the next six weeks before she starts nursery.

@Thursday37 I too was hesitant to think she will sleep better ff, but my children are the only two in my wider family who didn’t sleep alone in cots all night, and the only two not ff. So bf is the thing my family ‘blame’ for me producing two sleep fiends!

I breastfed my eldest until she was 2. She’s now 2 and a half. She still prefers me to her dad. We’ve now had the occasional weekend where she’s gone away with her dad and I’ve stayed. She cries for me when I’m not there. She doesn’t cry for dad when he’s away. She does ask where he is and she is very happy to see him when he comes home. But currently I’m her anchor who makes her feel safe and my husband is not, although in her opinion he is an acceptable substitute and she does calm down for him or for our childminder. Stopping breastfeeding made no difference whatsoever to the strength of her attachment.

If you’d like to keep breastfeeding, do it. If you’d feel less anxious if your baby would also take formula, maybe add in a bottle or sippy cup of milk and try mix feeding - although as you have a freeze stash you may as well start with that. You will presumably be expressing at work for comfort if not to provide all the milk your baby needs while you’re away. If you’d like to stop breastfeeding, that’s fine too. Your baby will get used to formula. But I highly doubt it will solve all the ´issues’ your family have identified. Personally I don’t think being attached to mum is an issue. Yes, your child will learn to rely on dad and nursery/childminder while you’re at work. (It will probably be hard for a few hours or the first week or two but both of you will get used to it and things will be fine.) None if this means that you and your baby are wrong for being so attached to one another. We are mammals. I have never understood why people insist babies are supposed to be independent from their mothers.

My friend stopped breastfeeding at around 6/7 months - her baby continued to wake up every 2 hours until he was over one...

I agree with everyone saying stopping breastfeeding won't solve most your problems. It might make them worse.

I'd keep breastfeeding as from what you have said you want to and you aren't ready to stop.
Perhaps adding either expressed milk or formula added in when you aren't there- but in a few months you may not even need to do that as your baby could have water and food while you are away.

My son was like your daughter. I think some babies are just more clingy than others. I don't know what the solution is - it was hard especially when needing to work but am still here.