BIG PROBLEM -need to do the odd night shift away from breastfed bottle/cup-phobic 8 month old night feeder

[thenewgirl]

I am sure this has been done to death but I am desperate for some practical tips to help me get my 8 month old breastfed baby to take ebm while I work during the night. I only need to do 1 or 2 night shifts per month but it is not avoidable.

he feeds about 2-3 times each night but simply will not take a bottle, I have tried serveral types over the last few months, he now sees the bottle and gets cross.
he will take from a cup during the day but not at night, during the day he will only take sips

I don't want to upset him by forcing him into it as I will be working so little and I plan to continue feeding for another year or so.

interestly he takes ebm from a syringe! (tried today after I gave him some medicine) not sure if it would work to fill his little belly at night though!

oh help, I don't thik there is a solution to this problem!

to clarify - he only takes water from a cup, when he is hungry for a feed he gets too cross to take ebm from a cup.

Can you get a great big syringe?

You might find he just will go without milk on the nights you arent there?
Though I appreciate that you want to try other ways of getting round this.
DO sympathise as my 7.5 month old feeds quite a bit at night. But if he wakes early on, instead of feeding him I send DH to go and comfort him, which usually works.

hmmmm, might try that one pannacotta, he is a fantastic finger sucker so I could at least try it, although dh is so so tired and works long hours at he moment. ds does love the boob though. Do you think I should put him in another romm? I've heard that can sometimes help.

I could try and get a bigger syringe, a 20ml is qite large though and maybe a bit too fiddly but still only about one third of a feed (at a complete guess!) 50 ml syringes are enormous.

I will start work as soon as I have found a soluion, was rather hoping he would have been slepping through by now though!

thenewgirl, I really dont know how much milk babies this age take during a night feed so not sure about the syringe, though am sure its def worth a try getting by using this.
You could try him in a separate room if you feel ok with that, or could try him with a dummy when he wakes, though if he is a good finger sucker then that might be enough.
Sorry that I cant help more - we havent cracked it either.
I do remember with DS1 that he slept through once he started crawling and using up more engergy, he was 9-10 months. Does your DS move around in the day? This does seem to tire them out a bit more.

no he is not on the move yet, my other 2 were crawling around by this age but he just seems happy to watch them and wriggle in one place!
I didn't have this with the others as I didn't need to go back to work but I do now or I will lose my registration to practice.
are you experiencing a similar thing?

Well DS2 is similar in that he wakes and wants to feed at least twice during the night (DS1 slept for longer at this age).
But I'm lucky that I work very part time (no night work) so I just feed him when he wakes. But I feed him in our bed and then he stays in with us and I do think this may be a cause of him waking more (he is within sniffing distance of milk). Both DH and I could do with a few nights of less interrupted sleep (he has v stressful job), so I really do sympathise with your plight.
Have read of other mnetters managing to work and breastfeed - I think the consensus is that the baby usually feeds less when mother is not there.
You might just find he is ok without a feed at night, or with just taking ebm in a syringe if you are not there. I would certainly not let it put me off going back to work as I do think at this age they can go for longer and it this might help break the pattern a bit, if that makes sense?

thanks pannacotta, that does make sense. ds3 also ends up in bed with us as I generally fall asleep during the feed and he is so nice to sleep with so I'm sure he would sleep for longer if I persevered with it.
I can't bare the thought of him being hungry and having no way of filling up if I am away all night at work. ugh the thought makes me shudder!
we'll get there I guess.
thanks for the advice x

it will be fine. your supply is well established and plenty of bf babies are not fed at night at all by this age. you might find you get the other nights off as well!

Perhaps he will take a bottle from your DH/DP if you aren't there? Or you could always try a cup during the night again? The Tommee Tippee cups seem to be preferred by my boys - maybe due to their chunky teats/spouts.
If not then why not keep trying the syringe, since you know he will take it if he is really hungry. Your ds may just decide to be more accommodating if he realises that you and your breasts are not there....

I agree with fishie. I would just do it and hope that he learnt to sleep through as an added bonus. I left DD2 a few times and she settled really well for DP with no boob to go for!

TBH Pannacotta I think that giving a syringe or whatever would only encourage night feeding which newgirl would like to stop.

Maybe her DH could offer water in a cup if the baby was insistent but to me it's an ideal opportunity to let him prove he can make it through the night.

BTW newgirl I am still feeding DD2 at 21 months and go away quite often for the night -we even had 2 nights away for DPs 40th in Sept.....bliss.

laundylover if you look back at the OP newgirl doesn't actually say she wants to stop night feeding, she is asking for advice on how to get her DS to take ebm during the night, hence my comments.

But she did say that she rather hoped he would be sleeping through by now....

Mine didn't sleep through until gone 12 months but if I wasn't there they could manage quite well, that was my point really. I suppose I just thought that it might be less faff for her DH to cuddle the baby rather than syringe feed etc.

Wasn't dissing your advice!

Dont worry ll, am not being over-sensitive, just aware that newgirl seemed cautious about denying her DS night feeds.
And agree that older babies often do manage fine when mother not around, said this myself in previous post.
Although some babies are def more easy going than others!! My DS2 fed more of a milk fiend than his elder brother

I agree Pan. I think with my two it was often me who worried about stuff which in fact wasn't a problem. With DD1 (who had a bottle after I stopped bfing) i never thought she'd be able to drink a good lot of bedtime milk out of a cup - one night I gave her a mug off the shelf and she downed 6oz!

With DD2 I have been lots more free and easy - hence the bfing still and no bottle ever! I have really enjoyed the odd night in London since she was about 7 months old and I don't have to express at all these days. It's fab.

BTW she's a real booby fiend and when we got back from our naughty weekend away she greeted me at the door with 'Mummy, booby'.

oh wow, laundry the thought of being able to have a naughty night away with dh is a good one, but I can't imagine it will happen anytime soon! -come to think of it, a naughty night in would be a novalty too
feel a bit stuck now, I do feel that it is indeed more of a problem for me than for ds as I know that if he were really hungry and I wasn't there then he would drink. but the thought of being at work knowing that he would be going through it would probably make me a bit crap at my job -incidently, looking after other babies- pooly ones!

I am going to work tomorrow morning for 4 hours and that will be the longest we have been apart (prob 5 hours in total) I think I will leave it up to dh with a syringe and cup and see works for him. come to think of it -better get expressing (yawn)
ugh, why do I have to go to work
thanks for the advice

oh, I just had a thought... does this sound like a plan?

I seem to remember the hv telling me to offer ds2 water during the night to encourage him to sleep through and take more during the day, I didn't bother as I was happy to feed him. do you think that if I concentrated on getting him through the night with only water that I might solve my problem without having to train him to take ebm?
you are quite right pannacotta that I am happy to keep feeding him at night but it doesn't fit in with having to work nights, and yes laundry, I would quite like to have regular whole-night sleep so it would be a fair swap!
if I spent some time just simply not feeding him at night and giving him warm water in a cup I am sure he would strongly object but if I am there to cuddle and reasure him, he might just take it. I wouldnt consider it if he wern't such a finger sucker though, he has that down to a fine art and it comforts him very nicely.
what do you think?

TheNewGirl, just a thought...

I got some great advice on here about going back to work in the day with some people saying that even if I couldn't express, he could have solid food & water when I wasn't there, and milk when I was.

Could you do this the other way around? I know it seems a bit unusual but if he wakes in the night because of hunger, and you're not around and he won't take EBM, could his caregiver give him some solid food? Say, yoghurt if you're spoonfeeding, or a small finger-food snack if you're doing blw?

hadn't thought of that one, but yes, that is a better option than starving and screaming all night long while I am away, although knowing my luck I would end up having to wake in the night with him every night for snacks!
I think I will try to encourage him to have a bit of water and do all I can to get him back off to sleep without the boob. I doubt it will work as I tend to have grand plans and then fall promtly alseep usually!