Reassure me he won't starve and I not a bad mummy....

[Mummyofthreebeauties]

I started back at work this week and DS2 who is nearly 8 months will not drink much milk from the bottle or cup. He has been exclusively bf till now. He was with DH for the 2 days I worked and must have sipped about 2oz each day. I am feeding him in the morning and he is then feeding again when I get home and through the night.

In addition, he is not that keen on solids, loves sugary yoghurt and will chomp on finger foods but closes his mouth at anything savoury served on a spoon or if he just doesn't fancy it.

The bad mummy bit is that I do want to try and stop feeding soon and also don't want leaky boobs in work (only had one leak incident) particularly as I am back to 4 days next week (new nanny starting). Also DH keeps hinting that he should be eating more savoury solids. But DS2 has other ideas and just got really upset that I wouldn't feed him, so much so that I just had to rock him to sleep as he was inconsolable - feel so s**t [sad.]

Mummy - this is food for thought, not a criticism of you

Is it maybe a bit much to expect your baby to get used to you being back at work (remember, he will not have much memory of you being at work before the holiday) and to get used to not having breastfeeds when he wants?

One thing at a time, maybe?

He's only little, and cannot understand why the person he looks to for comfort and love and that wonderful physical connection you have with the breastfeeding is now withholding that....that's why he is inconsolable.

(BTW, you are right, he won't starve, but bf is more than staving off starvation! )

Hi mummyofthree- don't worry- sounds a lot like my dd. I started back at work when she was 6 1/2 months and at first she was taking 6-8 ozs of expressed milk a day from a beaker from either her dad or the nursery. But as time has gone on she has been taking less and some days only took 2 ozs or so. Then the last two weeks she is taking almost nothing at all (she is nearly 11 months)and the nursery have advised I stop expressing during the day. She is still feeding the morning and evening and is very keen to be fed whe I pick her up. She is taking a lot more food now. I was worried about it, especially when I saw the chart on the nursery wall showing how much milk the formula fed babies were taking every day! However I think that every child is different and that bf babies do regulate their feeding themselves- especially if, like me, you have always fed on demand. Have you thought about just feeding in the morning and evening- I found my boobs pretty quickly regulated to not feeding during the day and I stopped leaking. Tommee Tippee breast pads are the best I find- you can lose lots of milk and as long as they don't slip none gets onto your clothes.

I have read about this on breastfeeding forums, the baby takes enough to get by whilst with the carer and then feeds when mummy is back on the scene.
You could do a Google on the topic. Kellymom is a great site as well, where there is advice on all breastfeeding related topics.
Regarding the solids: I have heard a lot about baby-led weaning, where the baby self-feeds and takes whatever he/she can manage herself. I don't think that you use a spoon or pureed foods, perhaps you could look into that. And don't worry too much about the amount of solids, a baby at 8 months is still dependent on milk for 90% of nutrients, so they don't need that much in the way of solids. I remember reading that the iron levels may need supplementation after 6 months, so offering iron-rich things like dried fruit and pulses (felafel, hummous dip, baba ganouj dip - that kind of thing) might be good for a self-feeding boy. Stand back when offering dips though.
I went back to work part-time and took a breastpump for emergencies - you are entitled to a private place to use it and to time to pump - check your HR department for details. They may contact your boss for you, or you could phone and have a chat about what you will need in way of support.
I only needed to do 1 pump in 6 hours, and the amount I collected dropped pretty fast. You will find the milk actually self-regulates after a week, so you can pump until it settles. It's amazing how your body adapts. I only had one silly day, where I forgot to pump and ended up with mastitus, but it was entirely my own fault and could have easily been avoided. However, I saw a doc that night and was prescribed a bf-friendly antibiotic and was feeling much better the next day, so even that was quite easily managed.
My little boy is now three and still has a feed at night, but isn't really interested through the day. He's about to start nursery, so I am pleased I am still able to boost his immune system for this forthcoming germ-fest.

On second thoughts baba ganouj is made from sesame paste and aubergine, but I think that is still rich in iron, so might be a good one. Nothing like getting them used to garlic at an early age.

Thank you for the kind and useful advice - no offence taken Tiktok, infact it made me feel better about feeding him now when I am around! It just feels so hard sometimes to know what to do for the best, whether me feeding him sets us back on the task of trying to wean him off. But your right he is still a little dot that still needs his mummy.

On the solids front, he is currently sitting with his brother and sister munching on some cucumber, bread and cheese. Not sure if anything is going in but I am def going to stop worrying about starving him of solids.

You would think by my third I would have more confidence to trust my instincts, just shows how different they are.

I'm glad you feel a bit better now. You are doing a great job!

I returned to work when dd1 was 7 1/2 months. Three days, then after 2 months 4 days a week. I expressed until she was 11 months. She never drank much milk in the day (like your lo she made up for it at night . Dropped expressing at 11 months.

With dd2 I returned to work when she was 11 months and decided not to express when she refused to touch it. Went back to work gradually (using annual leave), 2 days, then 3 days, and next week I'll be doing 4 .

I've never had any leaking problems at work (despite being a bit of a leaker generally). Only time I leak is when dd is feeding. I'm glad I kept up the bfing as it keeps us close even though I have to be away in the day.

Also I'd like her to have some milk in her diet, and as I've got milk she may as well have that

Her dad looks after her, and she eats more solids on days when she's with him. I just feed on demand when I'm there. No point me trying to be dad as she knows I've got milk and he hasn't.

I don't think it affects how fast she's on solids. We did baby led weaning - def worth doing, and you don't worry half so much about amounts etc.

Dad does what he does, and you do what you do, babies/toddlers can adapt. Don't feel you both have to do the same thing.