Hv says I've got to fatten ds3 up and should bf him less and give him cream cheese sandwiches!

[KITTYmaspudding]

Ok, here's the story, ds3 -child number 6- is nearly 9 months old. He has always been a skinny racing snake of a child. He was born @ 8lb 4oz, but skinny, looked like a skinned rabbit!!!!

He has always been a real boob boy, will 'snack' all day given the chance. He is also the most clingy and whiney child I have ever come across.

So today the HV weighs him and he has dropped from 75th at birth to 9th. This does not surprise me as he's not a greedy child. He has also not grown in height, but I know height measurements are very inaccurate for babies and I'm not too bothered.

Hv (who is very nice btw) says this is a point of concern and he needs to be up to the 50th centile. She says I should only be giving him three bf a day and that I should be giving him high calorie solids like cheese, butter etc.
Now having already gone through 5 children and their weaning habits my instinct is to say that ds3 is just a skinny active child and to leave things be.
Anyway how on earth do you force a child to eat? I've just tried giving him cheese and he spat it out. When he doesn't want to eat he won't.

My instinct is also to say that it'll be alright in the end, if he's meant to be skinny then he will be. Alright he's a grotbag but he's otherwise healthy and active.
His next sister up is just 2 and is very big and tall because she is. I haven't 'made her that way have I?
Anyway, your thoughts gratefully received.
Can I or indeed should do anything regarding this?

I would practise your "interested" expression accompanied by a sincere "Mmm-hmm, that sounds interesting. Can you tell me about the research-based evidence for it?"

I said to HV yesterday :

"do you know, the more children I have the more I realise how little I actually really know"

She was quite shocked, so I clarified by saying that I could have drawn all sorts of smug conclusions about how wonderful and experienced a mother I was when number 5 came along:
She was and is large, chubby, contented, sleeps for England, has never had separation anxiety, the list goes on and on.

I said I had I stopped at 5 children the conclusion I would have drawn was that her placid nature was down to my experience at parenting and my relaxed manner, blah, blah, blah .

Then along comes number 6 a skinny, screaming, bad tempered non-sleeping, non eating ball of tension.

There, he threw all of the silly ideas out of the window and I realised that each child is what they are, some cross, some happy, some fat, some skinny, some sleep, some don't, some get anxious, some don't.

I have learnt mostly that drawing conclusions, expecially when a child is still a baby is meaningless and completely unhelpful.
What IS helpful though is coming on here and talking to you lot, the people with experience and common sense -mostly

Bless you all

kitty, she is talking utter pants about development. It is normal for babies to have quick slurps and then go and do something else/show interest in something else, and to remain breast-focussed as well as everything else focussed....this is how we evolved over hundreds and thousands of generations, and it fosters closeness between mother and baby, security and confidence in the baby which is a great basis for independence and self-esteem as he grows...and it perfectly normal in babies and toddlers.

It's up to you what you do, and you may want him to become less breast-focussed, and he will be fine as he clearly gets his love and reassurance and attention in all sorts of ways.....but really, don't do it because your health visitor suggested it might compromise his development.

You are so sensible - don't be taken in by her

hey kitty... you know what you are doing is just fine

i just have the 2 DCs, but quickly realised that comparing too busy to eat, skinny, demanding DD to laid back, greedy guzzler DS was a Bad Thing. I let go, and although she still is a whole different ball game, i love the differences between them, and she makes me roar with laughter !

it is learning to let go and stopping the compare/ contrast thing that was hard, i found. it is human nature isn;t it? we compare our children to each other, to ourselves, to our friends' children.. don;t thikn it always does a lot of good!

don;t doubt yourself, you are doing great !

BM has loads of calories. There must be some Health Professionals out there who know something about breastfeeding...musn't there? Some of the threads over the last few days have been frightening - it's a wonder anyone BFs.

pmsl at your put down to hv kitty, you are so right, it's so easy to think all our kids great points are due to us and our fab parenting, all the bad stuff is dh's fault (well thats my story )

Why are you even bothering to get him weighed?
I stopped taking BF DS2 after a few weeks when HV said he was fat and I was overfeeding him. He's nearly eight now and skinny as a whippet..(Mind you, he WAS a right porker..) I'm sure you know what you're doing and force-feeding sets up a very bad dynamic between mum and babe.

Janni, she had come round to do dd3's 2 year check thing and since the scales were out and I hadn't had him weighed for months..... I did it out of sheer curiosity.
I could see by his body and the fact he hadn't grown out of clothes that he wasn't going great guns. Actually I haven't even bothered to look at his red book, so I still have no idea how much he weighs!!!!

That's the spirit! HVs are there to put the fear of God into mums.