Please will someone reassure me that extended bf is NOT just for lentil weavers therefore my hv and gp are talking rubbish.

[TheOlihantheIvy]

DS2 turned 1 last week and I'm coming under pressure from my hv and gp to stop bfing him.

I don't want to, I'm not ready to and ds2 certainly isn't ready to.

My hv's reason was that I've been pg or bfing almost constantly for the last 5 years and my body needs a break. She told me to switch him onto cow's milk (her suggestion for getting ds2 to take cow's milk was to add hot chocolate or Nesquik to it ) and start taking a multi vitamin myself to replenish what pg and bf have taken out of me.

My gp's reasons were the same as the hv's, plus I'm 'obviously not an earth mother, you don't wear lentil burgers on your feet, you're not hugging every tree you see' (his words so why am I thinking of carrying on beyond a year. Other reasons were that I have a lot of stresses in my life at the moment so it's one less thing to do; 'as a gp, I can tell you that it has no real benefits after the 6mo/1yr mark'; bfing past a year makes for very clingy babies; and ds2 will never sleep properly while he's still bfing.

Deep down I know they are both talking utter crapola but it's dented my confidence in what I'm doing. I'm wondering whether I am just doing it for myself and if I am actually making life harder for myself by carrying on. My mum is starting to drop unsubtle hints about me stopping too so I'm feeling a bit got at.

I've also got to see the GP again in a couple of weeks so I want to be armed and ready with some evidence and facts on the benefits of feeding past a year if he starts to put pressure on again.

Someone reassure me, please?

HI there my friend has 4 children and she bf 3 of them until they were two. They are all perfectly adjusted, normal children who adapted to nursery and school etc absolutely fine. Dont listen to them, its your body, your baby, you do what you think is right. And I would be getting another hv if she suggested nesquick and hot cholcoate for a one year old. Good luck.

if my go had said that to me i would';ve laughed.

i breastfed dd3 for over 2years mainly for an easy life.

we needed to be ready to go at a moments notice, and it is a heck of a lot easier grabbing a nappy bag and baby than prepapring feeds or worrying that cows milk would go off whilst visint hospital in the middle of summer etc.

WHO guidelines recommend a minimum of 2years breastfeeding dont they?

God I wouldn't believe these things happened if I didn't read it here so often.

Have a look at Kellymom for chapter and verse (with citations) on benefits of extended bf-ing for mothers AND children. I've always found that bf-ing makes it much easier to mother a toddler - my older son cause me much more difficulty after he was weaned, and in retrospect I wish I'd fed him for longer (he weaned at 22 months).

I really think you should make a complaint to the GP practice manager, and copy it to the PCT (with an added note about the health visitor). Silly, silly people (hw narrowly avoids stronger language).

And finally, what's wrong with doing something 'for you'? As you say yourself, you've got other stresses and difficulties. Why on earth shouldn't you do something that makes your life easier and gives you some pleasure - especially when it has fantastic health benefits for both of you?

Grrrrrr on your behalf.

well, you do what you want to obviously, and there are some benefits to bfing after a year (but there is waaay less evidence for benefits at 1yr + than for benefits under a year), but it is true that 5 years of pg and bfing is a real strain on the body. the stuff about clingy babies and sleeping is crapola, but if they're talking about sleeping I presume you're still feeding at night? if so I would really really make an effort to cut the night feeds. I've just done this myself (ds2 is 16 months) so I know how you feel. am wondering whether to stop all together in fact. if I had additional stresses in my life I would stop.

hope I don't sound like your mum!

also there's nothing inherently wrong with nesquick, although if i give ds2 a bottle I just put a pinch of brown sugar in instead. and well done for bfing for a whole year!

Ignore them.

They are bonkers.

I would imagine giving up BF and having to organise alternative milk feeding would be more stressful than just keeping going?

Tell your HV if she hasn't got any better suggestions to make then don't bother as the idea of "tempting" a child into drinking milk by making it chocolatey is absurd. I'm sure your dentist would like to talk to her!

I'd be tempted to report the GP for unprofessional conduct. What deeply offensive things to say! HV sounds awful as well.

There are health benefits to BF past a year and I'll try to find the link unless someone else beats me to it. It's also about much more than food for your DS and you should only stop when YOU both want to. Your DS can of course now have cow's milk as a drink as well as BF, but that is not of itself a reason to stop.

I BF DD1 til she was 18m and she self weaned (I was pg again and quite keen for her to stop). She is not in the least clingy, though her sleep is crap but I am sure that is unrelated. I gave up expressing though as I felt that that was taking a lot out of me and gave gow's milk for when I wasn't around. I am now BF DD2 (9m) and have no plans to stop.

Well done for getting this far. BF will protect you against certain cancers and osteoporosis too I think, so there are other benefits as well as for your DS. The HV sounds like she is hell on wheels as well. Ignore them and do what feels right for both of you.

HTH.

Thanks singyswife. He's the only one of my 3 that I've managed to bf past 4 weeks so I have no idea of what to expect. He is a lot clingier than the other two and has been from birth, he's also been a terrible sleeper and rarely sleeps right through. Obviously I've got no way of knowing how he would be if he was ff but being told things like this does make me wonder if it is because he's bf.

only you know what's right for you and your baby.

if you are ill your antibodies will stop ds from getting it so badly or at all (i think, my dd never seems that ill when i feel dreadful, still bf at 20mths), also if he is ill it is comforting for him to bf and comforting for you to know he's eating/drinking the best thing for him when he may refuse everything else

you have to make an effort to make him stop bfing whenever you do it, why not wait till he self-weans, if that's what you want, less stress for everyone.

it's definitely still good for them past 1 year, and i think makes a more confident child, not a clingy one.

the world health organisation recommends bfing up to age 2. interesting that your gp and health visitor know better than them...

btw i don't knit my own lentils either, and never intended to feed dd for so long, it just happened. you might want to contact la leche league. they firmly believe in 'extended' breastfeeding, i'm not sure i'd still be doing it if it weren't for them.

i repeat, only you know what's right for your baby

a bit garbled. sorry.

armed and ready with evidence -
how about "I'm here about xyz, how I feed ds2 is irrelevant, please don't interfere in my feeding choices, and please make sure you are up to date with WHO recommendations before you try and give poor advice to feeding mothers".
Or is that a bit rude .

Oli, don't let them get to you. I'm sure they have your best interests at heart , but extended BF has benefits for mum and baby. Do what you have to do to look after yourself, but if you're happy and your LO is happy, there's no reason to stop.

Senora, I don't think there's any reason that bf-ing should be a strain, so long as your nutrition is sound. Similarly, night feeds needn't be problematic if co-sleeping (although otherwise probably would be).

I have other stresses in my life - some pretty horrendous - and bf-ing my nearly-three-year-old is one of my few oases of real pleasure and relaxation.

Olihan don't let them dent your confidence! (I have to say this as you are one of the people who kept me going when I was at my wits' end in week four or five or so!)

"I've been pg or bfing almost constantly for the last 5 years and my body needs a break"

The longer you breastfeed the more beneficial it is to your body. It reduces your risks of osteoporosis, breast cancer and ovarian cancer and other stuff too although can't recall what.

Kellymom has loads of info on bfing past a year. Here it is.

Nope you just carry on as you are going. You are doing what is right for you and your baby.

And as for suggesting Nesquik don't they know it's made by Nestlé?

Well, I am not sure what your hv would say to me (actually I can imagine ). I am still bfing dd who is 3.5yo. She is very healthy and very confident. We have the most wonderful cuddles and I wouldn't change it for the world.

If you stop because other people tell you to you'll end up feeling resentful IMO.

she was probably trained in her breastfeeding advice by nestle !

how horrible, that you have had your convictions dampened and ridiculed by HCPs.

don;t worry to much about evidence and facts, if you and your little one are happy to carry on breastfeeding, surely that is key?

Goodness me. What a lot of bolleaux crapola your HC'P's are spouting. I'd PMSL if it weren't so and worrying.

I have been pg and/or bfing constantly for well over 3 years and am very fit, thank you. If you look after yourself bf doesn't have to 'take it out of' you. It's actually good for the mother for all sorts of reasons - reduces, IIRC, risks of various cancers and osteoporosis. And I think the reduction in risk becomes greater with time.

No health benefits past 1 year my arse. As if the breasts flicked a Stop Supply of Nutrients and Antibodies switch on the baby's first birthday. Not to mention the benefits to emotional health.

ds1 isn't 'clingy', and tbh, what if he were? He's a child. He started sleeping through most nights by himself during his second year, despite being bf all that time (and still today, at 2.7) and bf to sleep until he was 2. (He stopped the bf to sleep quite suddenly and entirely ogf his own accord )

I am a bit of a lentil weaver, but you probably wouldn't knowit to look at me.

They are talking crap. (And you know it!)
I am no way an earth mother but was devastated when DD1 refused BM just after her birthday (we think due to me being pregnant at first, and then just her bloody mindedness) so had read up on benefits beyond 1 yr and there are many, for you and your DS. I cna have a hunt if you want but I would stick with the WHO guidleines as they can't really argue with that.
Otherwise have a look on Kellymom as there is bound to be stuff on there.

Wow, major x-posts!
Oh and I have been PG or BFing for 3 and a half years now and my HV and GP have both said I am really lucky (no periods! haha!) Neither mentioned any health detriment.

X-posted lots there.

Thank you all.

TBH, I was so taken aback by both lots of comments that I just nodded and smiled weakly.

FT, I do it for an easy life too. I've got 3 dcs under 4 so it's been so much easier than faffing with bottles and formula.

HW and Deck, DH is quite keen for me to complain but it's a small village practice, only a couple of gps and I don't want to be tarred as a trouble maker.

SP, he's dropped all but one night feed in the last couple of weeks so he's down to 3 feeds in 24 hours but he does tend to sleep in longer if he has a feed in the night. If he doesn't then he's up at 5am - not nice! It's about making life easier for myself again.

Sidge, yes it would be more stressful. He settles quickly at night after a bf, if I try just to settle him he can fuss for a couple of hours. Plus I don't think I can face the trauma of getting him to take milk from a cup - it wouldn't be fun, I know.

Deck, thanks for the stuff on benefits, that's the sort of ammunition I need .

When I read the title, I presumed you were BF a school aged child!

Sadly, your GP and HV are both ridiculous.

They are talking complete and total crap!

Why are you seeing the HV? You can stop now if you like

As to your mum... hmm..... tell your mum that you're not ready to give up. Tell your GP that you are not ready to give up and actually could he provide you with evidence, facts and figures as to why you should stop!

Oh gosh, thank you for so much reassurance. I can feel the courage of my convictions returning with a whoosh! The Kellymom links are great, just what I need. I may print soem of it off and give it to the GP at my next appointment.

I will think properly about complaining because they've made me wobble, despite having a reasonable knowledge of bf. Goodness knows what they could say to first time mums with bf problems.

ReverseThePolarity, who are you normally? Glad I've helped someone else to bf though . I wouldn't be in this situation without MN either. Thank goodness we've got somewhere to go to get decent bf support, eh?

i bfed dd1 until she self weaned at 25 months (i was pregnant with dd2) or i would have carried on forever! DD1 is a very confident, well adjusted, social wizz kid! and she settled into nursery perfectly on day 1. As for being clingly - she went through that stage for a little while - don't they all though?

DD2 is now 10 months and still bf's on demand LOTS. I will carry on bfing dd2 until she decides to stop too.

It is best not only for them but for us too. medically and psycologically. "I think!"