Do you have to co-sleep to successfully BF?

[Caz10]

During my pregnancy I had never considered co-sleeping, so read nothing about it, am very sketchy on how to do it safely and tbh am just not keen.

DD is 3wks old, BF is a struggle which I know is to be expected, but everywhere I go for advice I am advised to co-sleep if I want to ever sleep again!

I have DD right next to my bed in a moses basket, so not needing to go far to get her at night. Haven't mastered feeding lying down - my tiny boobs seem to be out of her reach and i can't see latch.

Am I destined to never sleep again unless I co-sleep?

If you can put dd back in Moses basket after a feed without getting out of bed yourself, maybe co-sleeping would be of no great advantage to you. It doesn't suit every one. Get some help with the lying down latch and persevere, if you want to make night feeds less exhausting. Lie on your side and position baby so that her nose lines up with your nipple (of the bed-touching breast) and wait for the gape before latching her on. It is an art that is worth working on; I certainly didn't master it first try.

Tiny boobs are an advantage, I think. Mine were too big.

Not necessarily! It can be a great way to cope with frequent night feeding though. Some people find it fantastic, personally it was a bit more hit and miss for us, some nights were good and some nights it was dd's wriggling and squirming that kept me awake as opposed to her waking for milk.

I would definitely recommend trying it, you may find it works well for you and your baby. I would try to get the hang of feeding lying down. I had to feed this way initially as having had a cs it was most comfy, so by the time we tried cosleeping latching on in the dark lying down wasn't too hard.

You may find that your baby's sleep just gets better on its own, apparently it works this way for some Good luck

It took me and dd3 around a month to get into a reasonable night routine - I did exactly what you did, had her in moses basket next to me and I was exhausted. The first few weeks are hard, but it will get better - dd3 slept from 7pm to 4am from around ten weeks and I never ended up taking her to bed with me. Co-sleeping is great for some, but I am like you and was not keen (neither was dh) and would have worried so got less sleep. Stick with it, do what feels right for you, and it will get better. Good luck x

pratcising feeding lying down during the day - I mean every feed if poss until you perfect it.

Mine were fully bf and slept in seperate rooms - I couldn't sleep through the noises they made so turfed them out after a few days (dd4 never slept in my room) but I had the cot and single bed in the room, so would pick baby up lie down latch baby on and often nodded off again. When I woke up if would lay down the other way and feed the breast for the next feed - so I had a pillow at each end, never had to worry about baby falling off the bed or dh squashing baby in his sleep.

I also think I slept deeper with them in a diff room and only awoke if the were actually crying for a feed rather than them being awake or whinging a bit when they were in light sleep rythms.

No you don't, stick at it, it will get better!

I never coslept and both mine slept through from 3 mths

Lying down feeding was hard for me. Only got the hang of it at 6mths with DS, did a bit better with DD and mastered it around 3 mths

You don't need to co-sleep to bf successfully. I didn't with DD (almost 6mth, exclusively bf & sleeping through). The first 6 weeks is definitely the worst. DD slept from 7 to early hours from about 10 wks I think, with usually only 1 or 1 1/2 feeds during the night.

Things will get better and soon. Stick with it and good luck.

Another 'no' from me. Yes, I am sure it helps many...but is not necessary for all. I also have tiny boobs, and bf lying down was just not happening. DD was fully bf up to 6 months, and slept in her own room from 4 days post-hospital (I know this is not current advice, but it worked for us, as I could not sleep for more than 5 mins at a time because of her noises). When she woke for a feed, I would go through to her room, where we had a comfy chair and water etc already set up next to her cot. We were lucky, in that after a 10pm feed, she only ever wanted one feed a night from day one. This got later and later until it stopeed at about 10 weeks, Carried on with the 10pm feed until about 5 months.

Good luck; it will get easier. Try and stuff her full of milk in the day, and perhaps consider exppressing to allow dp to do a feed to let you relax/grab a sleep early in the evening.

you don't have to - but sometimes it helps! I would never say I was a co sleeper, but I was very relaxed about the DS being in bed with me for a couple of hours at a time!

Def practise lying down - I couldn't do it with DS1, but managed with DS2 and it made a world of difference. If you can't, don't worry - hang in there because as the night feeds decrease there will be longer times between feeds for sleep!

Remember if you bottle feed you have to get up, reheat a bottle while baby is screaming, watch while they drink it, burp them.... it doesn't mean more sleep!

You don't have to co-sleep to successfully bf at all. If your dd settles easily after a feed it is no big deal to scoop her up out of moses basket, feed her, then pop her back in afterwards. Twenty minutes out of your sleeping time, two or three times a night initially and lessening as baby grows older and stomach grows bigger.

However if she doesn't settle easily after a feed, co-sleeping, or rather bed sharing ("co-sleeping" just means that baby sleeps in the same room as you) can help you get more sleep, because you're not sitting up trying for another bloody hour to rock baby back to sleep so you can get some kip!

Feeding lying down; practise in the daytime:
Big boobs - just lie on your side at 45% angle to bed (leaning back - pillow underneath one side of your back helps) and flop your boob out inelegantly on the bed. Use hand to bring baby to boob and latch on.

Small boobs - same as before but lie baby's head in the crook of your arm to bring to boob level before latching on.

Oh if you have small boobs that don't drop down under your arm pits you could also try breast crawl. Just lie on your back and plonk baby face down between your boobs. At three weeks old she still has the reflexes to shuffle up towards your boob on her tummy and latch on by herself. Probably not the best nighttime sleeping position (as baby on tummy + you fast asleep = not great combination) but might help you get some daytime rest.

Breast crawl video - you only actually see the crawl at the end though!
Some articles on co-sleeping and bed sharing.

No, you don't. I am dreadful at co-sleeping - can't sleep at all myself, worry about squashing the baby and/or the baby's snuffling and farting keeps me awake. I've breastfed two babies very successfully, one for over 18 months.

MI at first I thought you meant your farting was keeping your lo awake!

errrrrrrrrrrwell

Nope. Bfed DS and didn't co-sleep with him. Like you, I didn't fancy the idea, and my HV didn't encourage it at all. DH helped out a lot though to make sure I wasn't a complete zombie during the day. I was still a zombie, mind!

With DD I have co-slept and it was so much easier. She had a grobag, I had a single duvet. We used a bedside cot and I would haul her in and out of it and generally forget to put her back again sometime around 2am. It was lovely! In fact, I am only now finding things hard now that she is in her own room. She was waking lots when we co-slept but I still felt fine the next day. Now? Well, let's just say, I'm feeling the strain a bit more!

You dont have to, of course not, but it does help in many cases.
We have DS inbetween us at night (King size bed and are soon getting a Superking), but DS is between our pillows so not right up next to us so no worry about rolling on/squashing him.
I am sure I sleep much better with him there, think I would be anxious if I couldnt hear him breathing etc. But is is very much a personal choice, might be worth you trying it and then making a decision. Is certainly easier in the first few weeks when they wake up loads to feed.

thanks all. am of your nightfeeds notyummy!

it takes me about an hour and a half at the moment to do EVERY feed and very often at night she won't settle at all and before you know it we're into the next feed...

so i'm not really switched on enough to start reading up on stuff, which I would like to do prior to considering co-sleeping....zzzzzzzzzz

I didn't co-sleep and managed to sucessfully BF my DSs. They were both in my room and very close to my bed. I used to sit up in bed to feed/wind them and then change them and put them back in their cot/carrycot.

DS2 was a little more difficult as he was a bit of a velcro baby but as the cot was right up against the side of the bed I used to sleep halfway down it (lucky I am short!) and put my hand through the bars so it touched his cheek - that used to make him settle.

I never fed lying down at night (didn't really master it) and thankfully both boys slept through from 10pm - 6am by 3 months. Before that they woke at around 2am for a feed.

I never managed to feed lying down and am still bfing at 17months and, yes, I am now sleeping again! Had similar marathon feeds to you - ds could easily feed for 45 mins, then had reflux so needed holding upright for another half an hour, THEN we had to try and get him back in the moses basket... Did try bringing ds into bed a few times but it didn't really work for either of us.

What made all the difference to me was having a supportive dh who often took ds in the night. Is your dh/dp around? If so, forget any worries you might have about him having to go to work the next day - small babies are knackering and he's just had one too. If you have fed dd and she isn't settling, go and wake him up!

Caz

At 3 weeks, dd would take about an hour and and a half from start to finish to feed, so don't be too Gradually both she and I got better at it, and from memory, by 6/7 weeks the whole thing was closer to 45 mins (although it then took me a while to go back to sleep...)

From about 9/10 weeks, dh did one night a week when he was in charge and I slept in a different room. She was sleeping until at least 6/7am by then, so if she woke in the night he would sooth her, as we assummed she didn't need milk. There was aways a bottle of ebm just in case! That was a godsend, and I always used to look forward to the night when I was 'off duty'. She is now 17 months old and I am back at work 4 days a week, so we take turns to get up if it is needed (which it isn't most of the time.)

It gets better, honest!

feeding- so will reply properly later - but wanted to say thanks!!