Lasted one day with first baby 17 months with second

[Loopylever12]

Has this happened to anybody? I feel so guilty I have been diagnosed with PND because I feel I failed my first?

Breastfeeding I mean

Hated it. Did about a week with dc1, so much effort. He was emm cs delivery and didn’t want to bf from day 1, screamed when he came near my boobs every time. Was astounded when Dc2 instantly took to it straight after the birth. Lasted about 6 weeks then got fed up with it and switched to formula. Never felt any guilt but despised the midwives who tried extremely hard to make me feel guilty. Luckily, I had a lovely community midwife who told me not to worry about it and just be honest and decisive. Dc are 18 and 19 now and strapping, healthy, hard working young adults.

I feel guilty but she would have got some colostrum wouldn’t she? I didn’t get much support and didn’t have a clue what I was doing

I tried so hard with dc1, 6 weeks of exclusively starving the poor baby. She still hadn't regained her birth weight and I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown with my nipples torn to shreds, switched to ff and it was like flicking a switch, she ate, she slept, I slept, I healed and the weight piled on. Nervously gave it a go with dc2 but then was put on antibiotics on day 2 and felt like I had my get out of jail free card. BF was a MISERABLE experience for me and the only thing I regret is I ever tried it. I feel I lost 6 weeks precious weeks of newborn joy to it.

I lasted about 5 days with DS1, and 2 years and still going with DS2. I sometimes feel a pang of guilt that I should've tried harder the first time, but he was a very very unsettled baby later diagnosed with severe tongue tie, lactose intolerance and silent reflux. He got medication about 2 months later, and special formula, and was much more settled. Had I known all this then I might've persevered but it just wasn't meant to be. Don't be too hard on yourself, there is literally no difference between my two now, infact DS2 is more 'sickly' so I haven't seen the immunity benefits. It's different children with different journeys, you haven't failed!!