PLEASE HELP ME WITH BF 3 DAY OLD - FEEL SO SORE AND TIRED

[Amani]

Merry Xmas everyone!

Am finding BF so much of a challenge and really would appreciate any advice and support...

I'm finding BF really tiring and painful. DD was born on Sat. First two days of BF were fine, then from Mon everytime I BF DD2, the first few sucks are sooo painful and thereafter it's ok. Is this normal?

To top it off it seems like she is permanatley on the breast. On Mon night she was on most of the time from 9pm to 3am and I hardly had any sleep and I have to admit that last night when the pattern started to repeat itself I gave in and gave DD2 formula (I felt so bad), but she slept for 3 hours straight (she usally goes 1.5 hrs then needs another feed). Today aswell it seems like she has been attached to the breast best part of the day. Feel so tired and nipples feel sore....I really want to give BF a good go, but it's sooooooo hard...Is any of this normal or am I doing something wrong?

Amani, hello sweetheart, it is good to see you back! I am glad you are feeling hopeful. Brestfeeding is supposed to work. You don't actually need to worry, or do anything, it will work if the baby is allowed to do as it needs to, and you are letting your daughter decide when she needs to feed etc which is WONDERFUL.
5 days is early days, the milk may not be in yet - how do your breasts feel, are they sudden;ly fuller since you last posted or has that not really happened? t might be that because you missed a feed with the formula, they haven't qiote caught up with the 'supply sand demand' yet and it will take an extra day. Expressing is really hard, I always fed fine but expressed about a mouse's cupful, no use to anyone! Why are you expressing, there is no need...just try to allow baby access to you whenever she wants. That is the best was to sort out supply. Honestly, try not to worry, don't bother expressing unless you really have to. It will sort itself out! Hang in there xx

Sorry for the typos! In a rush!!

Just to add you sound like you're doing fine.

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers

Breastfeeding Network

...there's no reason why you wouldn't have enough milk btw. Have a little confidence in your body, give it a chance...it'll show you, you'll see

Just a few pointers - expressing is not a true representation of milk production (babies being much more efficient than pumps!) so don't worry about the 1/2oz thing. It is quite early for expressing but that's OK, just don't assume it's an accurate indicator how much milk your baby is getting.

Formula top ups can have a negative impact on your milk production. The baby is feeding a lot at this stage in order to increase your supply, so by giving her a full tummy of formula she will stop sucking and you might find this begins to wind down the BFing. If that's not what you want then you should try to 'top-ups' if possible. If your baby is feeding a lot you should trust your body to respond to that by producing milk. At 5 days old sucking a lot/for several hours on and off is not necessarily a sign of inadequate milk intake, it's normal. So assuming you are getting lots of wet and pooey nappies and your midwife has no concerns about your baby the best thing you can do is feed, feed, feed.

The frequent feeding is a normal and vital part of getting your boobs up and running. If you can hang on in there and roll with it for a bit longer you will find it settles itself into a more predictable pattern.

I know it feels like forever now, but you will look back on this time like it's just a blink! My midwife always urged me to stick at it for 2 weeks - admittedly some people are unlucky and have problems beyond that period but I have to say she was right for me - it did get much easier thereafter. And you're almost halfway there! You're doing great - keep at it!

Amani, think you are looking for a pattern out of which you can judge if everything is ok.....and you are micro-analysing the normal changes in sucking and sleeping that happen with newborns, and which if you do micro-analyse, do not reveal anything!!

She's five days old. On this day, it is normal to feed on and off for much of the day and often the night, and to not settle very well/for very long away from you/your body.

She will be producing several soft yellow poos and plenty of wee.

Giving formula may make her sleep longer but long sleeps are not necessarily a good thing. Giving formula does not support breastfeeding, because it interferes with your baby's feeding at the breast....there is no reason why you would not be producing what your baby needs, and expressing is not an indication of what you produce or what she gets.

Shields are not the answer to your soreness and have serious drawbacks....you are doing the right thing in getting attachment checked, and so far it sounds like the normal tenderness that does get better by itself, but do ask the midwives again. It would not be the first time a mother has been told all is ok, and it isn't.

Would it help today to forget about expressing (it's a hassle and tells you nothing) and formula (can seriously undermine your bf) and shields (drawbacks and hard to get off) and timing and worrying about quantity? Just feed and let your baby set the pace

...I would second Tiktok, excellent advice there.

I too am on my second baby, I worried with the last one but this time I haven't really even noticed how often he feeds. He just does it. I haven't bothered expressing or topping up. He knows what he's doing. I am sure your lovely daughter does as well xx

Thank you everyone.

Just want to add that I didn't realise that feeding on/off constantly to begin with is normal - read lots of literature on BF and most of them say once the milk comes through (my breasts do feel quite full and do leak milk) babies can go up to 2-3 hrs without milk....????...

Just another question: DD2 falls asleep at the breast after 10 mins of feeding and no matter what I try (blowing on her, tickle palms, rub cheek/chin), she does not wake up. Then she sleeps for 5 mins, cries and then start over the pattern. MW said I have to try and keep he awake so she can feed for longer- but don't know what to that will make her, any ideas??

Tiktok - do you know me? I do have a habit of sometimes over analysing things.

amani change her nappy this usually disturbs even the sleepiest baby.
The on off feeding is totally normal IME for the first 10 wks and at phases with older babies
For instance my 9 mth old fed 11 x last night between 6pm and 12am.
Not sure why, comfort for teething/hunger? Growth spurt.
they are little mysteries, I just go with it and try not to over analyse the why's )

Also not read anything but your last post and the openign post, but the searing pain on first latch, I got that too and it faded after a few weeks, I coped by taking a deep breath and holding it and then letting it out as the pain went, from then on no pain. I am not sure why it is, I had not latch probs or cracking of nips.

Good luck and it will become easier

Congratulations on your brand new Christmas parcel of joy! My DD was born on similar date. Lansinoh worked a treat for me and the worst was over after 5-6 days. As short term measure (until you get the cream/shields) you could try dabbing a wee bit of your milk on your nipples ...

Good luck!

Feeding then sleeping then waking soon for more suggests it's worth having a real think about how she's latching on. Try these links for lots of ideas about how best to get it right and what to watch out for to suggest it's not as good as it could be: "kellymom" and "Dr Newman". The fact that the midwife said "it's fine" sadly doesn't mean that it is: many have very little training in this area. Amazingly minor adjustments can make a huge difference: see the clip on Dr Newman's site titled "Poor Latch/Good Latch 2" (video clips are on the right of the page). It's so worth finding what works for the pair of you - this site is populated by people who've shed buckets of tears as they searched for the answer but for those that find it the rewards are immeasurable. All the very best in your search!

Amani how is it going? We're at day 18 here and things are still quite rough.HV today advised me to give her EBM in a bottle asap - I'm not sure about that advice TBH but might try.

Something v small that I read here that helped me - I had been checking/changing her nappy before feeds, thinking may as well do it first, but by the time we got to feeding she was frantic and starving and I think grabbing at my boob so to speak. So now I just pop her straight on and when she dozes off I go and do the nappy then, which as someone else has said, wakes her up.

Hope that helps, good luck, i know how you are feeling!

Amani: I know I'm a bit late replying, since this thread was started a couple of days ago, but only just now seen it. Just wanted to say keep trying and don't give up! I found it a bit difficult at first with my first baby. She was quite small (only 5lb 14oz) and had a bit of a tramautic birth at hospital & I was separated from her for the first 24+ hours. Anyway, made it a bit difficult to get bf established & all she wanted to do was sleep whenever they called me to feed her! She did this for a few days but eventually settled in and was feeding a lot more frequently. I guess the fact that I'd seen my mum breastfeed my 6 sisters & brothers made me know it can be done, so I just persevered...and 2+ years later, she's still not weaned! LOL (She shares with her 9mo brother who was a perfect pro at bfing when he was born!)

Anyway, initially, I would say the problem was that your milk wasn't in yet (hence the pain, since you weren't full yet) so the constant waking & feeding were meant to establish the milk supply. The first days (weeks?!) are when you need to try at least to relax with your baby and get to know each other, lots of cuddles and both of you will hopefully relax and baby will settle and you'll get more confident with the breastfeeding. The only thing I'd say about the formula, is that if you're determined to bf, formula is really a bad idea as it will make it easier to substitute it other times if you get used to giving it occasionally. And also as you're wanting to build up a good milk supply yourself, you want your baby to feed as much as possible to keep it up.

Do hope everything works out for you! The early days with lots of sleepless nights & trying to recover aren't easy, but it will get better! xx

... yes, the videos on Dr Newman's site (mentioned above) are really good so you can get an idea of how it's meant to be. Good idea just to double check that the latch is as best as it can be.

Hi, sorry but am too bleary eyed to read all the other posts so appologies if I am repeating.

I tried everything to wake DD up as she would feed 5-8 mins and then sleep feeding again anything between 30 and 90 mins later. She was a bit of a "ditherer" on the growth chart so I spent alot of time concerned about extending her feeds. Now I know that this was just her and she leapt up the charts when she started on solids. If I was to have another I wouldn't pay half as much attention to it as I did.

I found it a godsend to be able to feed in bed so we could both doze and feed as necessary. I could always feed better if I was rested. It was like my boobs charged up with sleep.

Another thing I wish I'd known is that yes breastfeeding is natural and you do come to love it, but in the early weeks it is bloody hard work and anything but easy. Even if you manage a correct latch 90% of the time. The 10% that you don't does alot of damage to your poor nips! The best thing I found was Lansinoh for that.

Oh and my milk never "came in" just built slowly. I expressed after 4 weeks so DH could give last feed and I could get a headstart on a bit of kip. Even then I only got 1/2 - 1 oz in the first few days. Eventually I became a dairy queen and could pump 4oz in a single sitting. (used to feed one-side and pump the other.) I've just weaned dd at 10mo - or rather she's weaned herself (sniff). So please take heart that you have a long career of breastfeeding in front of you and you're doing ready well so far!

Hello, It's normal! it takes a while for it to stop hurting, but eventually your nipples get used to it. Try nipple guards - they give your nipples a chance to heal a bit. Newborns are on the breast more than off in my (one) experience. Resign yourself to being beached on the sofa, grin and bear the pain until it goes away (it took a couple of weeks for me) and it'll get easier, honestyly. Good luck.

i would see a bf counsellor and try to keep going. my mw told me my latch was fine when it wasn't and i gave up far too soon. i didn't know that the baby would keep bobbing on and off the breast until day 5 when my milk came in i thought i was just no good at breastfeeding and gave up.

Once again thanks everyone.

I have to be honest - last night I was feeling so dizzy with the exhaustion, plus in so much pain with the stiches and generally depressed with the whole BF issue and guilty that I've not spent any time with DD1 since going into labour last Friday that I gave into formula (felt so awful)3 ounces and slept for 3 hrs solid (a first for her).

Been BF every 20 mins today as opposed to the usual every 10 mins which makes a difference as I can quickly have a bite to eat and give DD1 as few cuddles.

Thanks for the tips about keeping baby awake, the nappy changing one worked and I put DD2 back onto the breast straight after.

Will keep you posted.

Nipples much better today and the latching on sensation isn't too bad now...

Don't feel bad about the formula milk - you're doing your best which is all you can do - and it sounds like you are exhausted. It's good that the latch seems to have improved. I hope things will get better.

Amani hang on in there, every day you can keep going is a day closer to pain-free, quick, convenient, predictable feeding. I promise it gets more manageable. Now I can sit down in the evening and not even recall when and where I fed DS during the day, it's so easy. You're doing brilliantly, well done!

Hi everyone,

DAY 7: Managing to feed DD2 for aproximately 25 mins now which in turn gives me about 1/2 hr to 45 mins break, but spoke to mw and have decided to give her a complimentary bottle at night after BF. Feeling a litle down today as my DH and DD1 have been out and about doing all sorts of activities and shopping whilst I've been stuck at home and BF more or less all the time. .

I wish I knew the point as to when this will get easier, would give me something to look forward to.

Feeling a bit down that's all today...

I'm sorry to hear you are down, pesky hormones, exhaustion, bf - all takes it toll doesn't it?

I remember feeling terribly (and unexpectedly) guilty for DS1 when I had DS2. But really, DD1 is still getting lots of love and attention, and although its hard for us, its great for them and their Dads.

Will you get a chance to cosy up and have a rest? Is there anything nice you can do for yourself right now?