Now pretty much fully BF ! Finding pain hard to deal with tho

[Sanguine]

Some of you have been good enough to help me over the last week or so, but here's a short recap of events so far... DS is 19 days old. He was born with a tight tongue tie, my milk didn't come in properly and he lost 20% of his weight and had to go to SCBU for rehydration. Since then he's had the tongue tie snipped, and I've been trying to usher in enough of a milk supply to sustain him by feeding and expressing (topping him up with formula), and taking domperidone. The tongue tie snip went really well and he was sucking like a hoover by the same evening. The next day I woke up feeling like there was actually milk in my breasts for the first time ever, so we decided to see how it went without the top ups. Now we're almost able to get by entirely on breast milk with only one top up in the evening (though I reckon we can drop that one as well today). It feels like it's been a long slog, and that we've really climbed a mountain to get this far (expressing is horrid!!). So, obviously I'm feeling knackered because I'm feeding every 2 hours for an hour at a time, and most days I think to myself it would have been easier to give up at the first hurdle and FF the boy. The biggest problem I have is the pain in my back, neck and shoulders. I have EDS/hypermobility syndrome and it makes all my joints painful and injury-prone. I'm also recovering from the most horrific SPD so my pelvis isn't the happiest (although it's a huge amount happier than it was 3 weeks ago!). So I spend a large part of every feed thinking "Ow, ow, ow, please hurry up!" and not enjoying it one bit. I have all the cushions and stuff, and I try not to have his weight supported only on my arms, it's just that sitting (or lying) still for that length of time encourages my joints to misbehave. Any tips for making it less of a physical ordeal? Or should I just live with it and be grateful that I can at least BF after all the trauma of having no milk? The other problem I have is that after a BF, I'm out of stamina for the burping and cuddling the baby to sleep routine, which is a shame because he's decided that 12-2am is prime screaming time when cuddles and endless feeding are required!

that sounds an ordeal sanguine, but you are really determined and doing well. is the pain in your joints or have you got latch problems as well? have you tried rugby ball hold, so his head is facing forward and legs gonig round your side (sorry crap description) - then you oculd put most of his weight on the cushion but not on you.

Sanguine I haven't followed your story but I am very impressed at what you have achieved. With that sort of determination I am sure you will be able to find solutions to your current problems too. Is your partner able to help you more, so that you are not having to do the burping/settling to sleep?

You know, if you FF it doesn't take much less time and you still have to sit still in the same position. I guess the only advantage is that it doesn't always have to be you (though you could always express for a feed later on if you wanted).

Are you sitting/lying in a position that is good for you before you begin to BF? A friend of mine suffered back/neck pain with BF and it turned out she was sitting hunched over with insufficient cushions etc and rather than bringing her DS to her breast, she was squishing down to meet him. It helped no end when she sorted this out.

If the pain is really bad you can take painkillers for a while until it subsides (perhaps ask for advice on this as we don't know what else you are taking). Also, are you getting help/advice with the SPD/hyper mobility thing anyway? Because this is an issue that an expert might be able to help you with. I hope things improve quickly for you - have a lovely first Christmas with your DS

I didn't have EDS but distinctly remember the aches and pains of long hours holding / craning to see if all well / trying to stay in the 'right' position. Don't know if you've tried feeding lying down but that's pretty much the only way my DD and I do it now. Search for 'breastcrawl' link on this site or google or else look at kellymom for links to info on different positions to try.

Oh my love- you have been through the mill, haven't you

Can you feed him lying down - this is really good for taking the pressure of the joints and works especially well as you can have the odd recuperative dose It works really well, if you feed on your side and have a plump pillow between your legs - if you sort of put the pillow forward a bit and roll your top leg over your bottom leg with the pillow under it for support.

It takes a bit of practice to get right - but when you get the hang of it, it is great - even if you just do every second feed that way!

Well done though - you really have worked hard at this - I wish you and your DS all the best

Whist a recuperative dose might me nice - I really did mean a recuperative doze

i take my christmas hat off to you for doing what you have achieved in the last few weeks. you are amazing.
assuming that from your op you have all the big banana-shaped bf pillows and all the rest, the only thing i can think of is what about a memory foam pillow (or several)
I have nothing like your problems, just am used to being very active - PE/dance teacher type active and tend to feel very stiff if i sit still for long. the bf pillows (yes, two of them, on on top of the other) and a small purpose made bean bag, where i put polystyrene beans into a cushion cover, sort of did it for me. as i have just got my mum a big memory-foam pillow for my mum for xmas, i just wondered if that would do the biz? i still have my array of cushions and pillows in the bed, despite being well past the baby-feeding stage...

good luck, hope your poorly pelvis improves very soon.

ok tis too late to write sense. you get the idea

I had similar problems with my ds2 and tongue tie, but without the weight loss. He was able to get enough milk by nipple feeding, but my nipples were in a right old state, bleeding sores for a good while. i also got the stiffness etc. from bf. i well remember what a pain and a hassle in was to bf ds2 in the early weeks, the pain was toe curlingly bad and i had to position him 3 ways every feed to try to get the pressure off my nipples. Each feed took about an hour and a half! it did all settle down in a few weeks, but it's a long slog to get to that stage.

well done for all your success so far. you have tried so hard, i'm sure things will settle down for you 2 before too long. try to realise it will only be for a fairly short time and then you will be able to actually enjoy bf and all the convenience and closeness with your baby.

he is now nearly 2 and still having 1 bf a day! am thinking of stopping soon, but i'm so glad i persevered.

hope things continue to improve for you. x

wow! what a trooper you have been! my dd2 (now 6 weeks) also had a tongue tie and until we got it snipped at 10 days feeding was grim. It wasn't a serious one though and I didn't have all the joint problems. I don't have advice but I just want to say how impressed I am by your determination. I hope things get easier soon - remember that within a few weeks feeding will get MUCH quicker as well as less frequent so should be easier all round.

Hi Sanguine

I have been following your posts so it is fantastic to see you're now almost fully BF - what a brilliant success story and you must have worked so hard at it.

I think to be feeding every other hour at this stage is not at all unusual and could well be the case whatever kind of start you had. It will even out, especially once your supply starts to build up. Your little one has had a lot of work to do himself to get from very little to a full supply so he's still presumably feeding frequently to keep it going upwards. He is quite likely to keep having periods of frequent feeding as well - most BF babies have 'frequency days' where they feed every hour or so for 24-48 hours, usually every 3-4 weeks in first 3 months but its not necessarily that regular.

I really sympathise with you on the SPD: I had it really badly with DS1&2 (but oddly, not with DS3). From what you've said though, you've had all the proper advice on this but just in case, I had some excellent relief by using an SI belt and a wedge cushion/roll cushion (for my bum/lower back respectively). You may have a belt already but if not it's worth a try: it's essentially a strap that you fix low around your pelvis and it kind of braces it all together. You should be able to get your midwife or GP to refer you to an obstetric physio at your hospital for one, or if you don't want to wait that long (IME physio appts take ages to come through as there's always a massive waiting list) and want to go private, a physio may lend you one. Or you can indeed just google SI belt and buy one online if you can afford it.

I can also recommend using a padded chair with no arms that is low enough to put your feet flat on the floor. I found an IKEA dining chair to be perfect! If your chairs aren't the right height, you can prop your feet up on books, phone directories etc..

And finally (honest!) I've never used this but it looked like a good idea, you can get a feeding cushion from Mothercare that straps on round your back. This seemed like a good idea for SPD because it ought to spread the load across your back rather than downwards onto your hips...

Good luck and let us know how you get on

I'd just add that if you try feeding lying down, have your parter/HV/Mum standing by to adjust your position with pillows, etc. That way you can find the most comfy posture and work on getting there yourself.

Sanguine -I have exactly the same problems as you and the only thing that minimises the pain and freezing up when doing a long feed is cushions cushions and more cushions - I've always ended up with a flat one behind me , a couple at the side (if on a sofa) and a couple on my knee so that babe is only slightly below nipple level, it's so easy when you're bendy to get into a crap position and not realise until you try to stand up . Feet flat on the floor/telephone book is also good. It gets easier as they get bigger and more self supporting and you can do away with some of the padding.
I also do plenty of baby weightlifting to keep arms and back strong, which helps loads even though it does take us longer than the non bendy to get fit, I'm planning to go to the chiropractor after about a month this time to make sure i'm well aligned and try and deal with some of my shoulder and neck issues