5 month old constantly on the boob at night.. help!

[Killeen88]

Hi all,
My 5 month old DS has recently been unwell with a heavy cold, cough and temp. Due to this, he's been a lot more clingy and fed at night for comfort more. I've let him, as he's been so upset and distressed and seemed the only way to settle him. This started 3 weeks ago. He's now well, but I'm worried he's now expectant and reliant on the boob being there for him to snack on all night. We mostly cosleep anyway, but before being unwell, he'd feed 3-4hourly and then go to sleep. Now he's constantly off and on. He's loving life and is latching himself on in his sleep. But I'm barely sleeping as he's on all the time, I'm getting sore from the constant sucking, I'm feeling touched out and irritated and I'm feeling so run down... I've not slept more than 1.5 hours in one go in over 3 weeks!! 😪

I've been so desperate to put an end to this, I resorted to trying controlled crying last night, in the hope he'd realise the boob wasn't an option (please keep negative comments about this to yourself... its not something I approve of either, but I was desperate 🥺).
Safe to say, it was an absolute fail, my DS and myself cried on and off for hours and at 4am, I gave in and we were back to square one.

I'm writing this, again, with DS attached to me comfort sucking and living the baby dream and no idea how to stop it without causing him serious upset!

Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated!!

Some things that might help are:

Adding in extra feeds in the day. So if your feeding 3 hourly, try 2 hours or 2.5 hours.

Increase touch in the day, maybe take a bath or a nap with him or wear him in a sling, if he’s not too heavy.

Try breast compressions to increase the flow.

Put him ny DH/DP, if you have one, so that BFing is a bit harder for him.

Wear some clothes that deter him a bit.

Get him outside at least twice a day. Not easy in this weather but sunlight has been proven to increase sleep at night.

Hope you find something that works for you, but if you are feeling touched out, I’d hand him over fir a couple of hours today, make yourself a cuppa and ring one if the BFing Helplines. Do you have the numbers?

Following for ideas because mine is still like this at 21 months

@LividLaVidaLoca I haven't got much time to respond but try 12 alternatives for the all night nurser and look up Dr Jay Gordon Night Weaning. It's a very gentle method that should get you some results

Please don’t feel bad for resorting to controlled crying and night weaning. I never thought I’d do it either but after 4 weeks of almost hourly wake ups I investigated it too. It was the best decision we made despite the tears (mine included). I understand you can do it even when co sleeping but I don’t think I’d have the stamina. Agree with PP, have a cuppa, take a bath, and look after yourself. You’re doing great.

At 21 months though you might get more sleep if you just put them in their own room. My DD went down from almost constant feeding to one or two 10 minute feeds.

@BunnyRuddington

At 21 months though you might get more sleep if you just put them in their own room. My DD went down from almost constant feeding to one or two 10 minute feeds.

That’s the dream but he currently won’t entertain sleeping on his cotbed cos I can’t really fit on it with him. We’re aiming to buy a bigger bed so I can start him off.

How much sleep is he getting during the day? Sometimes if they nap too much in the day it can make them more wakeful at night. Apparently the perception of sleep at 4-5 months is quite a bit more than is realistic - we have this idea that they should be sleeping 7-7 at night plus napping for an hour or two at a time, but most babies only need around 14-16 hours in total at this age and they still tend to be having a nap every couple of hours, so if they nap 4x for an hour or more then they will probably only need 10 or so hours (or less!) at night. On the other hand if they do sleep well at night then they might onlt be having 30-45 minute naps and that is normal. But trying to get them to do long naps and long uninterrupted stretches at night is a bit of a problem.

If you like the long naps you can try a later bedtime. Or if you like the early bedtime, try stretching out time between naps and not extending naps.

If you have a bedside cot it can help to kind of scoot them away so they are not right up next to your boob all night.

Teething can fuck sleep up at this age as well, and so can developmental spurts like wanting to practice rolling or investigate their feet/hands or practice new sounds etc. There's not much you can do about that though, but it does get better by itself.

Just to say in response to an earlier suggestion, night weaning is not advised until over 6 months

I would feed on demand (ie if he wakes and wants to feed then let him) but put him back in his cot each time. If he is constantly lay next to you then he will be able to smell you and even your movements and breathing are possibly rousing him in between each sleep cycle. So he’s then latching on to feed into the next cycle. If he’s not lay next to you then he may not rouse so much in between.

Just to say in response to an earlier suggestion, night weaning is not advised until over 6 months

My night weaning comments were directed to the Livid whose baby is 21 months. Personally I wouldn't recommend night weaning until 12 months.