Want to stop 1 year old's bedtime BF. Any advice?

[Elsy]

My 12 month old DD has been having 2 BF a day (first thing in the morning and last thing at night) for the past couple of months. I'd like to stop the bedtime BF soon and keep going with the morning one for the time being. Tried last night but she went completely hysterical. She usually goes off to sleep without a murmur and did so as soon as I fed her. Now I'm not sure what to do. Am I going to have to let her cry until she gets the idea there's not going to be any feed? How did the rest of you extended BFers give it up?

could you give cows milk instead? Or else may be easier to drop the morning one.

I haven't reached that stage yet- she is 10 months, but I do intend to stop when she is about 1. I wouldn't let her cry as she will be more determined I should think. My sister starting doing things with her ds to replace the feed when she stopped bfing when he was one- making a big fuss over reading a book was the main one. She was advised to do it by a friend and didn't believe it would work- it took a few nights but it did distract him and she was able to wean him off expecting the feed. Also, could you get you dh or dp to put her to bed?

Is there any particular reason you want to drop the bedtime bf?

Personally, I don't drop feeds as such, because I don't feed to a pattern, but I did find that DS1 dropped the bedtime feed by himself at about 15m and had weaned totally by the time he was 17mo.

DS2's 23mo and still bfeeds morning and bedtime, but he goes to bed easily for DH, or on the odd occasion we go out, for whichever grandparent's babysitting. Not sure if that's something that's influencing your decision to cut the bedtime bf?

Probably easier to drop the morning feed instead, think the night time feed is lots to do with comfort and I think its hard for them to understand why this is being taken away.

Part of the reason I'm so keen to drop the bedtime feed is because DD won't be put down by anyone else at the mo. Might try DH putting her down one night next week when he's off work but I'm not hopeful about it working! The other reason is a bit silly - I feel that I 'ought' to stop BFing now. Not because of other people's negative opinions but because I'm worried if she BFs for longer it'll be even harder to wean her off.

That's a bit sad for your DD, the feeling you "ought" to give up that is.
I breastfed DS1 until he wanted to stop, he self weaned age 2 when I was pregnant with DS2. I did find at bedtime that I could hand him over to DH after feeding him which gave me a bit of a break.
Am going to let DS2 self wean too, much less stressful for mother and baby IMO.
Do you both still enjoy breastfeeding, could you not carry on until you really feel the time is right to give up?

Don't give up if you don't really want to. The best time will be when she is ready.

I still feed ds but quite often dh does most of bedtime and I do the last bit (stories and milk). His feed takes about 2 minutes now but he still wants it (he is 3.2).

Don't stop now because of what might happen in the future. Because it might not. And anyway, that's the future - you can worry about it when it gets here. Worrying about things that might happen (and equally might very well not) is a hard way to go through life. Easier to think that they won't happen, then if they do, worry about them when you can change them.

Otherwise you just worry a lot

As for being put to bed by somebody else - go out for dinner or a drink with friends or a book - I did that once when DS2 was a baby and I needed to get out of the house and be by myself - and let someone else put her to bed. Does she spend time with anyone else during the day, a relative or childminder? Do you always feed her to sleep for naps and bedtime as well? Does she drink water well? I put mine to bed with a non-spill beaker of water from about 10mo.