Breastfeeding in public

[mumsbetsy]

So I have been breastfeeding for 2 weeks and it's going surprisingly well so far. This is my second baby but first time feeding myself so I'm learning as I go.

I feel quite confident to feed in public and don't feel I should hide away while I feed eg go to a toilet to do it or upstairs in my house when we have visitors. But I will cover myself with a Muslin.

Midwife has congratulated me on how well I'm doing as my Lo has put on a good amount of weight & is thriving so far. I feel quite proud of myself as it's something I never thought I'd be able to do.

I'm quite shocked by the response I've had from my mum of all people. She has told me it makes other people feel very uncomfortable especially her partner and other men in the family. On another occasion when I was about to feed in front of family she asked 'are you going to go home then?' And one other occasion was looking at me very judgingly as I fed while everyone ate their dinner. As if it was disgusting to do such a thing. She's also suggested I put her on formula so I know it bothers her. I'm shocked because I didn't think it would.

I don't really know the best way to go about this. She makes me feel like I should not be feeding my baby if other people are around. I personally feel like if it bothers people they should leave the room - not me.

What are your opinions? I am considering changing her to formula because of this which will break my heart a little bit.

When I breastfed I tried to be considerate of the feelings of others. It was perfectly legal for me to feed uncovered but still I always used a shawl out of respect for others who might feel uncomfortable. That could include older family members or strangers with religious beliefs about modesty for example. It’s a bit selfish to say I’ll just do what I want and it’s tough if other people feel uncomfortable.

@User0ne

Hollie McNish has a great poem about this called "embarrassed".

You have it spot on that this is your mams issue not yours and if she's uncomfortable about your baby eating then she can go elsewhere. Maybe show her the poem.

Feed your baby how you want, don't change it because of what someone else thinks.

I actually don't like this poem. I never had anyone comment negatively or look negatively when I fed my children in public, and I fed both to toddler years in public. I only had positive comments. I remember one mum expressing surprise I was feeding my toddler in public, but then she said she still does at home and then started to breast feed her toddler too!

That poem gives the impression that you will need resolve of steel to feed in public, when really its very likely to be a non-issue.

@ImmutableSexQueen

I breastfed my dd for four years. At first, my parents were like your mum OP but they got used to it over time. I knew I'd made my point when my dad asked my advice on dealing with one of his goats that had mastitis.

I love this!

@Alayalaya

When I breastfed I tried to be considerate of the feelings of others. It was perfectly legal for me to feed uncovered but still I always used a shawl out of respect for others who might feel uncomfortable. That could include older family members or strangers with religious beliefs about modesty for example. It’s a bit selfish to say I’ll just do what I want and it’s tough if other people feel uncomfortable.

Do you feel the same way about women who wear tight clothes, short skirts or low cut tops? It's right to be considerate but you really don't need to show a lot of breast once the baby's got the hang of breastfeeding.

[quote mumsbetsy]@JustWonderingIfYou well she's not awful or nasty at all, bit of an odd thing to say. My mum is amazing and my best friend. Which is why I'm finding some of her comments surprising. Just not sure how to approach it[/quote]
She doesn't sound amazing or like any friend I've ever had. She's shaming you for the most natural thing in the world. Not only that but she is trying to push you to do 2nd best for your baby.

An amazing best friend would be supporting you and have your back against the nasty people putting you down.

Keep going if you love breastfeeding!!!
You're doing so well and it would be absolutely gutting for you to stop because of small minded individuals, even if it is your mum.
Also, I can guarantee you will always blame you're mum deep down if you do stop against your will.

I would pull her to one side a tell her that you enjoy breastfeeding your baby, its the best thing for your baby, it's what your boobs are made for and if she or any other family member have an issue with it, then they need to leave the room, not you.

My favourite thing to say to ignorant anti breastfeeding people is..... if you have a problem with me breastfeeding my baby, you're staring too much!!

Good luck 😍

Don't change to formula! Sorry people are saying no contact or that your Mum is nasty - that's not helpful, it's your Mum and she just maybe isn't with the times on this!

I have an idea that might help - get a proper breastfeeding cover rather than a Muslin cloth. They are so handy, they loop round your neck, you can look down and see your baby, but they give better privacy in public. Mine has been so useful even if it's just for helping my little one take a nap in a busy place. You can get them on amazon for about £10. I've lent them to friends who have said they are a game changer.

Also, maybe in her house go to a bedroom to breastfeed? In your house give her a warning you're going to feed your baby in x minutes and let her decide where she wants to be.

Remember you're the Mum now so it's your rules! And don't be disheartened! I try to remind myself that I could be the person saying 'well in my day we did xyz' and be looked at like I'm an alien by the younger generation, haha.

But whatever you do - don't give up bf your baby if it's working for both of you! You'll regret or feel resentful/sad about it later if you do xx