I'm frightened and there's nothing I can do now.

[Awfulshock]

I've just read some really frightening statistics about the prevalence of type 1 diabetes among formula fed children. My dh has type 1 diabetes. For reasons which are too long to go in to I exclusively formula fed my first child and managed to give breast milk to my second child (only by expressing and then bottle feeding it) for about 6 weeks.

I feel sick and frightened that their chances of getting dh's illness are now massively increased. We talked at length to doctor's etc about the genetic predisposition of type 1 diabetes and at no point were we made aware of these frightening statistics in relation to giving our children formula milk.

I'm a regular poster, but given the hammering people who have used formula have got tonight, I'm being more anonymous.

Oh I wish I'd stayed off Mumsnet tonight, I'm completely devastated.

I'm sorry that the thread has affected you in some way. You have every right to be angry that this was never mentioned to you by your Dr.

There is nothing to say that YOUR children will be affected, only that statistically in general it is an increased chance.

You did the best given your situation and information and to express for 6 weeks is incredible (I did it for 4 and it was SO tough).

Please try not t worry about something that may never happen.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

I don't know the risks, but my advice would be not to waste your energy worrying. If your children do develop diabetes, you will never know whether they would have done if you'd b/f'd or not.

You can't change the past, please don't worry.

It's situations like yours that some people on other threads tonight have not stopped for a second too think about before they start slating and pidgeonholing people!
I hope that your fears are unfounded and that some people take a step back and see how narrowminded they have been!

Awfulshock do a google search to see if you can find out more and remember they are statistics and not facts.
Don't hammer yourself - we all do what IS best for our kids at the time. Life is full of risks and tbh if type 1 diabetes is hereditary at all then that's more likely to have an effect than whether you bf or not.
Some of the folk over on that thread should have been shot at birth - after their first breast feed of course.

I need to go and talk to my gp about it. This has really shaken me.

Awfulshock - your post highlights the problem of not being given proper information to make an informed choice. You made a choice based on the information you had at the time. Please do not torment yourself over that decision or worry over something you cannot change. Remember that an increased risk does not mean that it will happen. I totally respect the choices women make and would never criticise someone for formula feeding.

Awfulshock please talk to your dr about this. You are aware of the issue which is to your advantage.

As usual Mears has put what I was trying to say so much better.

I hope that I am not one of those people who should be shot at birth. All I was trying to do was advocate informed choice.

Well said JulieF.

Got to try and get some sleep. The diabetes uk website talks about the issues in a less frightening way, which has been some small comfort tonight. When you read through the research summary and statistics on the unicef website it scares you witless - not very helpful when you're reading it in hindsight!

When I was pregnant and went to any appointment's, it always surprised me how uninterested the doctor's etc were about dh1 being type 1 diabetic, as though it was irrelevant.

I'm so sorry you're worried

TBH, the holier than thou attitude by a few on that thread makes me sick to my stomache!

You did your best at the time, and you can't go back and change things - so don't beat yourself up.

Just because they are statistically more likely to get it doesn't mean they will. And even if they do - you know how to deal with it.

Actually I would guess any risk your kids have is more related to your DH having it than anything you fed them - I am assuming there is a genetic tendency.

Well done for expressing for 6 weeks - been there and it isn't easy .

Awfulshock - I've only caught up with this this morning. I haven't even come across the 'other' thread yet.

Please don't beat yourself up about this. There are plenty of perfectly healthy formula fed children out there. As a young mum, with a pretty crap HV, I breast fed my eldest for just 2 weeks. I struggled and gave up. I have three children and he is the healthiest. He has no allergies, hardly ever gets a cold (although he did as a baby) and is now a strapping 16 year old.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

awful - don't be shocked at yourself, but at the medical and midwifery people who failed to inform you of the (very well-known and evidenced) increased risks of diabetes with formula feeding.....I don't think the increased risk is 'massive' as you say, but it is there.

No one can be blamed for acting on lack of information.
I am glad you have read stats on the diabetes websites; the research is very bald on the unicef website - nothing wrong with that, as they state the facts, but for someone personally affected, the diabetes sites are better.

hi awfulshock

please dont worry, last night was a bit crazy and frightening for me too. didnt sleep a wink cos so upset/angry. you are obviously a good mum because you seem to care about your children. speak to the dr by all means, because im sure he will reassure you

i kind of wish id stayed away last night too

Please please don't take it to heart

statistics are just that .. statistics .. they have no bearing on you .. in the final analysis your child will either inherit or they won't .. and it is useless to obsess on statistics which are based on populations not on individual cases

.. I say this as someone who's DH has a fairly nasty chronic disease with a genetic element involved ... it did not stop me having children

Just remember there are even worse statistics out there .. a 1 in 3 chance of developing cancer in one's lifetime (as the ad says) .. for some reason that statistic helps me come to terms with the far lower risk of my children developing problems .. I hope it works that way for you

You did and do what you believe is right at the time .. do not obsess now about something you cannot change

As always, brilliantly put Twiglett!

There are some excellent posts on here which I can't really add too except to say so sorry that you have been panicked by this, and I hope Twiglett's and others contributions have put your mind at ease a little.

Thanks for these supportive words, I really need them, I still feel dreadful.

I also feel very wounded and shaken by the comments of some posters which equated formula feeding with putting your baby in to an unstrapped car seat. I really did the best in the circumstances at the time and feel they've pointed their finger at me and said I've handed my children a potential death sentence. There are times on Mumsnet when people can be utterly thoughtless and cruel.

I was in and out of hospital with gastro-intestinal problems (which started during the pregnancy)after having my first child. With the help of my gp at the time, I came to the decision that formula feeding would mean we BOTH kept going, which was the priority.

With my second child, I was able to give breastmilk for 6 weeks but only by expressing it all and then bottlefeeding. Try as we might, me, midwives and HV's couldn't get my baby to latch on to my 40JJ breasts ! I read about a woman in an nct magazine who had the same problem who managed to express everything and then feed the milk by bottle. I managed it for 6 weeks. It was a really punishing schedule - setting your alarm to express and THEN sit up and feed when the baby wants the feed every two hours was SOOO hard. There was no point in trying to go to sleep. I think if I'd had just the baby I might have been able to sustain the regime for longer, but with a 23 month old as well it overwhelmed me.

I will keep researching the potential links between formula feeding and diabetes development in genetically predispositioned children and have made an appointment with the children's gp to discuss everything.

When I go to that appointment, I will as always, strap my children safely in to their car seats because I love them with all my heart and am devoted to their welfare.

Awfulshock - please don't feel you have to justify yourself and try not to let them get to you.

I know for a fact that at least 2 of the people posting such insults on there do things that I totally disagree with and feel are far more cruel that making a decision to bottle feed - they are no more perfect than you or I just too far up their own arses to realise it.

awfulshock - don't take zebra's comments to heart - she has strong views and is not always tactful the way she puts things - but I think she was just trying to make a point regarding a previous post. She was not commenting on you because she has no idea of your circumstances - only you know that.

What is done is done - you can't change it - and you will never know if you had done things different if things would be any different. You didn't cavalierly choose not to breastfeed - you did what you could with the help you had at the time - you couldn't ask for more. You were just not one of the lucky ones who found it straightforward.

Breast/bottle feeding is just one of many many factors that go into the health issues of any individual.

AS, it seems to me that you have done all you could to breastfeed both your babies so you really shouldn't feel that you could have done more. Well done for expressing for 6 weeks, I'm sure that most people would not have lasted so long or would never have attempted it in the first place. I don't believe that anyone should be judged because of how they feed their babies, regardless of their reasons for their choice. (((hugs))) from someone else whose dh is a type 1 diabetic.

Mears and tiktok, I just wanted to say, I am grateful for the info and support you posted on the other thread. Yes, I am in a state about it, because if I'd had the info when I needed it, I'd have looked very carefully with my gp etc at how I might have been able to manage the health problems I was experiencing after my first pregnancy whilst attempting breast feeding for at least some of the time.

Oh to have had access to a computer at that time!

It's the spin that's thrown on this information by other posters that's compounded my worry. I KNOW I should ignore their comments, but its really difficult. It's so hard not to be affected by comments that strike at the heart of your self esteem as a parent.

Thanks to all you other lovely mumsnetters for these messages of support. I need lifting up off the floor today, I really do!

Awfulshock - I haven't looked at the other thread but wanted to echo what the others on here have said. Statistics aren't the same as certainty. FWIW there is a history of asthma on both sides of the family. Evidence suggests that my dses would be less likely to become asthmatic if I bf them. Well, I could only bf ds1 for 6 weeks or so before I moved on to mixed feeding and then fully bottle-fed. He was diagnosed with asthma when he was 3yrs old. Ds2 was much less resistant to bf and so I was able to carry on for 6 months or so. He is now 21mths and gets out of breath when he runs - just as his brother did before being diagnosed with asthma. Sometimes all the precautions in the world won't make any difference.

Hope you feel better soon. xxx

awful, glad I was some use on the other thread and here. One thing you might want to do, if you are in touch with the same healthcare professionals including the GP, is to just let them know what you wish they had told you....not to blame them, as mostly, they mean well and the GP especially may not have been aware of the link between formula and diabetes. That way, when they have a similar situation to advise on, they have better information to share.