advice that was given to my brother's partner - doesn't sound right to me

[Stefka]

My brother's partner had a baby just the other day and is having problems with breast feeding. She has sore nipples. I told her to get in touch with a specialist in the area and someone is coming out to see her tomorrow.

In the mean time the midwifes have advised her to take a break for a day and give him forumla.
I asked her if she was expressing to encourage her milk to come in and she said they told her not to bother doing that. This doesn't sound right to me but I am very new to this feeding game myself. What are people's thoughts?

Nope - not right. She has to stimulate her breasts, either via pumping or feeding, in order for them to keep making milk.

Thank goodness someone is coming out tomorrow - I'm sure they'll set her straight.

I am no bfc, but I would say that giving formula and not bf'ing or exp. is a very bad idea. Your SIL really needs to keep feeding to establish her milk supply.

I just hope it won't be too late if she is giving the baby formula all day today. I didn't think it sounded right but didn't want to get all preachy on her. I know how awful it can be when you are dealing with painful nipples as I am two months in and still recovering from bad cracks. I hope the woman tomorrow is good.

Stefka - that's totally wrong. has she got some Lansinoh or Kamillosan? that should help with her soreness, in the meanwhile she needs to continue stimulating as the previous poster said.

is there anyway she can get on MN or Kellymom??

it's not the right advice but I don't believe one day will make that much difference

Not the most helpful advice from the midwives if she wants to breastfeed

She needs to keep feeding or expressing. If she has sore nipples then something is wrong, probably the latch or position. Hopefully the BFC tomorrow can advise.

As UD said, it's totally wrong advice, can you try to encourage her to at least hand express? and reccommend skin-to-skin, even if baby isn't feeding the skin-to-skin and breast stimulation will help her to keep her milk coming. I would've thought (and hoped) thatif you can gether to do that, just for toady til she sees a bfc then it should be enough not to hinder her too badly.

Oh and if the baby is only days old it can take up to a week for her milk to come in; if she doesn't express or let the baby suckle then the hormonal triggers will be missing and her supply may suffer.

That's what I thought

I don't know her well but they are staying with my mum so I think I will say all this to mum and see if she can maybe pass it on. So frustrating that she has been told this - obviously she is going to listen to a midwife over me.

Well, explain to your mum tht midwives are not trained in breastfeeding help.
Give her the numbers of the bf lines to call if she wants reassurance.

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
Tel. 08444 122 949

The Breastfeeding Network
Tel. 0844 412 4664

La Leche League
Tel. 0845 120 2918

National Childbirth Trust
Tel. 0870 444 8708

Stefka, what a shame for your SIL. it makes me so that this shite is still being given out in the guise of advice. you're a good friend/SIL for posting on here for advice!

I feel really cross about this. If I know this is crap advice and I am only someone struggling to feed their baby for the past 8 weeks then why the hell do the midwifes not know this? I wish I knew her better. I don't want to come across as a know it all or as putting pressure on them though as I know how hard it is when you are in pain from feeding.

If you can get advice to her, whether it be through your mum or not, I'm sure it can be said in such a way that it's explained how hard you know it can be, and how many people have trouble, plus that you just want her to get the best advice.

Oh and stefka, the midwives probably do know it's crap advice, but they aren't trained to deal with this.

IME, the HCP's know the advice is crap but don't have the time to deal with potentially complex bf-ing issues. saying, "Give baby a bottle," is much easier.

Anyway, you didn't start this thread for me to rant about lack of bf-ing support. Sorry to hijack.

It'll be lovely for your babies to be so close together - I bet you're hoping to see the new baby soon as well! Congratulations on your new nephew!

Did she manage to get any decent support stefka???

Magrat, you're wrong....a day not feeding at this time (very early days) can lead to several problems:

• engorgement, sometimes excrutiatingly uncomfortable, and causes latching difficulties
• supply issues
• baby uses formula which impacts on his health

The probs with engorgement and supply may be overcome with motivation and support, but why put a new mother through it?

I just got off the phone with my brother - they've done another day of formula.

I decided to risk offending them and told him that the midwife was talking crap and that she needs to be expressing. They have a specialist coming out today so I said to ask her how to hand express if she is too sore to put him to the breast. Hopefully she can sort her out though. Her milk has come in - I just hope they can get feeding established.

I really feel for them - they are very young and need better support and advice than they have had so far.

: (

One day with formula = bad

2 days with formula = can be disastrous

And she still has sore nipples

The 'disastrous' is not because it can physically destroy bf, which can be pretty robust, but because it is such a bummer to the confidence and makes breastfeeding an unnecessarily fearful thing to do....'will it hurt again, ouch, yes, it bloody does....'

Someone will say to her, after two days with formula and no improvement in the pain, 'are you sure you want to breastfeed? The baby took those bottles just lovely, and if you switch to formula then I/your partner/aunty Mary/grandma/the lady next door can help you feed....'

There may also be a chorus of 'I couldn't get on with breastfeeding either - there's far too much pressure put on young mums today' with a possible 'I gave mine bottles and they were just fine' for good measure.

the longer she is not breastfeeding, the louder these comments become.

I hope she listens to you stefka, for her sake, it's obviously something she wants to do or I would imagine she wouldn't be seeking help.
Good on you for talking to them at the risk of being put down as the 'nosey auntie talking rubbish!', do you think they'll listen?

Well they seemed to - I sent my mum a text message and she sent me one back saying that they had managed to get the baby latched on one side. My mum is all for BF so at least they won't be discouraged by her. It's just the bloody midwifes I have to worry about! I hope she has a better time than I have and the pain goes asap. I fear if it doesn't she won't make it.

That's great Stefka! Let's hope she doesn't become another statistic that left hospital planning on bfing but had stopped within a few weeks.

WRT your feeding, just keep posting, I'm sure you're doing great.

FWIW, I ^know* I'll be on here in 16weeks asking everyone to make me feel better, asking why I'm doing it, contemplating formula, the lot and I've done it before!