Confused over feeding times - please help - don't know when she's finished?!

[Caz10]

Hi! My little girl is just 6 days old, so I know it is very early days...but I'm getting all fuddled with this...

She's been latching on like a pro literally since birth, no probs there, nipples still happy etc. However I just can't seem to gauge the timings of feeds, as in how long they should be? Milk is well and truly in, and all the books say they should feed for up to 40 mins.

She sucks well for 8-10 mins then conks out - I understand (I think!) that this means she has had the 1st type of milk, the thirst quenching stuff, which also has the sleepy hormone in it. So when she brings herself off the breast at that point am I right in thinking she is NOT completely finished?

What I have been doing, on MW advice, is winding her, patting her etc, basically trying to rouse her again so that she'll go back on, which she does. But after that her sucking is v sporadic, she needs a lot of blowing on head, waking up etc.

So then after about 20-30 mins of that I'll think she's done, wait a few mins, try to put her down and she SCREAMS out, eating her hands, gaping etc, showing all the classic signs of hunger. Repeat ten times until she and I are both exhausted!!!

The actual feeding is going so well and I love doing it, but ending a feed is so stressful - can anyone help?! THANK YOU

I'm not sure about the should feed up to 40mins and some of the other stuff you've said.
I just swaddled my babies, put them to the breast, let them feed for as long/short as they wanted and then lay them down to sleep. Most times they would sleep for a couple of hours regardless of time spent feeding. If they wanted more within a shorter time then I'd just pick them up and offer a feed again. No need to force anything. Just go with what baby wants, especially at 6 days old.
Please try not to stress about this. Things will settle and a pattern will emerge if you follow your baby. You really don't need to insist on a feed that lasts 40mins. Your baby will take what she needs as she needs it.

You don't need to time feeds at all. Watch what she is doing when she is sucking. You should hear her swallow each time she sucks. Initially she will have fast sucks as she encourages the milk to let down. She will then have slower sucks and swallow each time. She will pause as she waits for the milk to let down again. As she gets to the end of the feed she will do small fluttery sucks. She is still getting milk at this stage which is usually fattier. When she has had enough she will let the nipple go. Wind her then offer her the other side. If she does not want it then put her down and start with that side next time. It may be that she is taking more milk than she actually wants and is then getting colicky, hence the screaming.

Hope that helps.

Thank you!! When she comes off the breast by herself I put her down, and it is often then that she starts mouthing and crying again - is it just a case of picking her up and trying again, and repeating that process until she settles?

I think I just got hung up on the timing as it was so hard to tell how long had passed - she'd feed for what seemed like ages then I'd look up and see it was only 5 mins! Will try to keep a closer eye on HER instead. She does exactly as you say mears, with the fluttery sucks at the end etc. Are they a good indicator of hercoming to the natural end of a feed?

I wonder if it is the putting down that is the problem? My DS would simply not be put down at this age without screaming. It's not unusual or unreasonable given they have been inisde you and attached 100% until very recently. You could try a sling or swaddling your DD.

I would just pick her up and try feeding her again if she cries when you put her down. It might just be that she hasn't quite finished. It might also be worth holding her up on your shoulder for a bit before you put her down, so if she is gassy it might make its way out before you put her down.

FWIW, my daughter never fed for more than about 15 mins (except during one monster growth spurt when she went for 5 hours), and at this age could barely manage 5 mins before dozing off. I suspect she was getting a lot of my hormones which were making her sleepy.

Anyway, the point is that there is no "should". You don't need to wake her up if she dozes off, and you shouldn't worry if she feeds for a different amount of time to what is set out in the books. As long as she is sleeping and putting on weight and you are not getting sore, then everything is fine. It sounds like you are doing very well to me.

Throw away your watch!

My DS fed for a few minutes at a time and slept loads at this stage too. He was also a good sucker and now at 4.5m he feeds in 5 minutes during the day. Guzzler!

Thank you all, have recovered a tiny bit of sanity since logging on!

I have read LOTS of conflicting advice re changing sides - MW said NO, some books say NO, people on here and some other books say YES....straw poll/advice?!!

Sorry that wasn't well explained, I mean offering the other boob during the same feed. MWs said to do one side at a time only but lots of other people/books seem to disagree.

Advice - THROW THE *&%£!! BOOKS AWAY!!

Seriously, almost all they do is undermine your confidence. If you want BF advice, ask a BF expert not some 'guru' who wants you to train your baby to sleep through asap. Most books offer the latter.

Oh sorry, see what you mean now. Well each baby is different. Some babies need both, some just one, and others it depends on the feed. You sound like you are doing very well.

Caz, what a shame you have been so confused but you are not alone!

Books which tell you about timings and 'shoulds' and 'shouldn't's can be safely ignored.

It's good practice in the early days to always offer the second side, unless your baby is totally zonked after one, as this maximises the stimulation of the breasts.

There are no rules, though. Deliberately only ever offering one breast is not good, even so.

Thanks again

tiktok I did wonder, but as a 1st timer I just thought I should go with what the MW said! 2 boob feed coming up soon...