Beginners guide to bf - any tips?

[dolly1]

Ladies I am 22 weeks and starting to think a lot about after the birth - what to do and how to do it.
I'm sure this has been asked a million times before, but would anyone mind advise me on how breast feeding tips please
How it works? How best to get things 'flowing', expressing etc.
Is it possible to have any kind of routine when bf?
Treat me like an idiot!

I'm so keen to try my best, not least for the selfish reason of how lovely it must be to be form that bond with the baby, but I want to be realistic and armed with knowlegde.

Also really terrified of bf in public! I know that's stupid but really feel insecure about anyone but dh and mum seeing me doing it. Am I weird?!

Im only 2 weeks into my first ever BFing experience, despite being my 3rd baby, so not much help, but you need SUPPORT.

If there is one thing ive needed more than anything it has been the encouragement and support of not only DH and family but the girls on here - hunker, moondog, vvvqv, soupdragon etc. They are all fantastic.

BF in public - not done it yet - also too bloody scared, but been told to sit in front of a mirror at home first to see exactly what is on show!

Lansinoh nipple cream gets recommended to the max on here, I havent used it myself, the avent stuff seems to be working just fine at the moment (plus i cant afford £10 on some blardy nipple cream!)

Routine - hahahaha, although we are starting to settle into roughly 2hrly during the day now and 4hrly at night.

Good luck, im sure the golden girls will be here soon to help x

Thanks DanJarmouse - good tips there. Will hopefully here from the experts you speak of soon! Just hit me that I don't know a lot about it. Have great midwife though who should help and a lovely sil.
My mum didn't bf cause she found it too hard/painful so she can't help much on this front. Hoping I'll be more lucky.

Don't be scared to bf in public! I used to do it all the bloody time and never got anything more than smiles from other mums!

dolly you are going to get loads of advice but i just wanted to say it's great you are thinking about this now. bfing can be a huge a challenge for a lot of people. it will take determination, but with a stubborn streak and a lot of support both on here & in real life you will do it.

is there a bfing group near you that you can go to? they often encourage pg mothers to go in advance for support. either way it would be good to know where your closest group is.

bfing is a military operation at first, but after a month or two you will be a pro and answering the door to the postman with a baby hanging off your nork!

How it works is the baby suckles and you make milk. The more the baby suckles the more milk you produce. Although the baby is born knowing how to feed, a lot of people (most people?) need a bit of help and a lot of practice to latch him/ her on, because mothers aren't born knowing how to feed.

IME BF hurts to start with. You may not find that at all, but be prepared that it might. Also some babies like to feed what feels like all the time for the first few weeks. The best response to that, again IMO, is to settle yourself on the settee with a drink in reach and something to eat, and a new boxset of DVDs that you can leave running for several hours before you have to get up and change them, and just snuggle and feed.

Don't expect to get anything else done. No phone calls, no letters. Possibly internet if it's in reach. You won't be making dinner for DH or ironing his shirts. Nor sorting out your car insurance or arranging a party. Just feeding.

Don't hide yourself away from visitors and feed in your bedroom, unless you've got a TV etc up there. If they have a problem seeing you BF they should leave.

One more thing, if you are really sore, I found the best thing was to leave both bra flaps open so the nips are exposed to the air. This doesn't go down well with visitors or postmen

I was rather shy exposing flesh before DS was born. When I was bf him, all manner of people saw my boobs, starting with the midwife who got hold of one, yanked it and shoved it into DS's mouth!

Find out now where to get support - including mumsnet ;) Will be useful to already know where to get help if you need it - no amount of "theory" prepares you for the real thing

I agree with bumper - check out your nearest support group - someone experienced looking at your latch in person in the early days works wonders.

Remember it does not always come naturally (to mother or baby) - I made this mistake assuming dd would automatically know what to do

Don't be afraid to call helplines - it's what they are there for & they really want to help you

Most people are anxious at first about BF in public - for me it took until I was more established at doing it (6 weeks or so) & dd really needed food there & then - haven't looked back since

thanks everyone. What will happen if I don't?
It's just that I was bottle fed from day one and I think I turned out OK?! So was dh, my sis, his sis etc.
Will it do terrible harm to my baby if I can't manage it?

agree with tracking down a local bf group before the birth - maybe a baby cafe.

and have a look in your lib for both 'Bestfeeding' and 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding'.

afraid I'm not much help with shyness-in-public as I never had any qualms about it at all and on the mw's first visit answered the door with dd attached just as Bumper describes...

Get off to a good start if at all poss by having baby skin to skin straight away. Don't let them wrap baby up and make DH wait a bit for a cuddle. They are programmed to root for nipple and latch without much interference. Carry on that way with loads of skin to skin cuddles. There's a weird pressure in hospital to have them all neatly wrapped in their plastic fishbowls but its not the way its designed to work.

don't think about whether or not it would be wrong not to bfed but check this out for all the reasons why you should.

for me there was never any question that I wouldn't, even though it was really hard. 6 months on and there is no stopping us.

try and get the baby latched on as soon as possible. don't leave the hospital without being checked & checked again, even if you think you are doing right.

Hi Dolly

Great idea to think in advance but don't get too hung up worrying - reality is very different from the theory!

Anyhow, get yourself pre-armed with helpline numbers since those should be first port of call...

-watch some latching videos eg on www.drjacknewman.com and be aware that most women have no problems letting their baby latch on but some do. Be ready to ask for help with it, over and over again if necessary. Have a look at the biological nurturing site (will dig out link) and see if someone else can point you to the 'breast crawl' idea (wish I'd tred this!) - it looks lovely

-check out your midwife's commitment/experience - if she'll be seeing you after the birth and she knows what she's doing she'll be invaluable. So ask her at some point what help she'll ba able to offer with BF. Let us know what she says and we'll be able to tell whether she's any help of not (heh heh heh heh )

-if planning a hospital birth see if it's baby friendly - their website should say. This will mean at minimum they have a specialist BF advisor who you can ask to see while you're in if necessary. All kinds of oddbods are sent to help you on the ward if they're busy including auxiliaries and clueless midwives and occasionally good ones.

-Work out what you want to do to get feeding established beforehand and stick to it (eg. skin to skin contact as early and as long as possible, even if you have to have an interventionist delivery, which hopefully you won't, no top-ups unless there is a very strong medical reason to do so)

-your DH might, as many of them do like mine, poor loves, buy in a secret supply of bottles, formula, dummies etc. Weed it out and donate to your local Surestart centre! When you're desperate in the middle of the night what you do is get on here, ask for help and make no formula related decisions until morning!

-be confident and have faith in your magical body!

• yup, going out in public can be tough at first but it gets much much easier when the latching gets easier. No reason for anyone to see anything when you get practiced and there are lots of ways to ease your way into it (feeding rooms, the car if you have one!, shawls, double layers of vests under a shirt, BF tops etc...)

Good luck!

What great advice thanks! Skin to skin is in my birth plan and my midwife appears to be great so far - so let's hope she's good at that bit too.
Still scared - of all of to be honest cause it's all so overwhelming - but also very excited. Dh keeps telling me how amazing it is that I can produce food! We are really marvelling at all the changes.

also, I'm not sure how to explain the ins and outs of bfing, but it is important to bf on demand especially in the first few months to get your supply established. though it may seem illogical the more you baby suckles the more milk you will produce, so the more often you feed your baby the more milk you will have. also your milk adapts with each feed to give your baby exactly what it needs.

bfing on demand helps your baby learn to regulate its appetite later on.

check out kellymom for loads more info.

god can't write today - fill in random words wherever it doesn't make sense...

But if I bf on demand how will I get into a routine? Just heard scare stories of kids who still want to be fed all the time at six months!

Monkey - no, you can't donate formula to SureStart! Free formula is illegal, and so they cannot give it to people. You could, though, make custard with it

Aha, the Tiktok god speaks. Fairenuff, give to ff friend then? Use to plaster walls? Custard - now there's an idea...

Dolly, if you've been reading she who shall not be named on Mumsnet (initials GF, rhymes almost with meaner fraud...), put it in the bin if you want to get BF going. Well, ok maybe not the bin but put away notions of routine until you've got your very first BF experience established and that could be weeks in.

Your baby will, naturally, develop his/her own routine which you will adapt to.

If you don't allow this to happen, as the supply/demand advice suggests, you risk not getting off to a good start...

Think of it like this - some days you're very hungry, some thirsty, others not so. Sometimes you can go 3-4 hours without a cup of tea and a biscuit; some days you might eat every hour for a while... That's all your baby will be doing on a considerably smaller tummy than yours...

Feed when your baby seems hungry - gradually you'll recognise the difference between hunger and other things but it can take time. Deep breaths, comfy sofa or bed, remote control, cup of tea and DP to bring you stuff - just feed and sleep for first 2-3 weeks and then see how you get on...

I think it's brilliant you're getting info on this now - I was so obsessed with beign pregnant I didn't know anything about BF and was in at the deep end all by myself!

What I would say:

*FORGET ROUTINE!!! At least for the first few months. Your baby will not be receptive and you will drive yourself mad. I thought you could implement one from day 1 and it's one of my biggest regrets.

DON'T GET OBSESSED WITH HOW* MUCH MILK YOUR BABY IS GETTING. It doesn't matter, so long as they're getting through enough nappies, you have no problems. People will try to make you paranoid about this - "how do you know they're not hungry - are they getting enough". It's really damaging to your morale. Trust your body - once you get into the swing you will make what's required.

*DO NOT TOP UP WITH FORMULA TO GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. There's no guarantee it will work, and it could sabotage your efforts. You need to feed at night, as this is when your body produces pro-lactin which boosts production. If you really want to breastfeed ask anyone who suggest this politely, to back off.

It is hard to get the hang of, but it's a new skill, you'll get it in the end and it's so worth it. If anything, its so much easier than sterilising equipment and faffing around for hours making up feeds.

Best of luck.

Make sure your DH knows you want skin to skin. I had it in my birth plan but was really out of it after the labour and wasn't with it enough to stop them from wrapping DS up and handing him to my hubby.

Obsess about your latch in hospital. Call someone to watch you every time you feed and don't leave hospital until you are super confident. Also I was told that the first night home the baby will cluster feed like crazy to bring your milk in. This did happen to me and it was good to know it's normal but at the same time I thought that every time DS cried he wanted fed which probably wasn't the case. That night I wrecked my nipples by letting him feed all night - they are still not better now.

Good luck to you! This place is great for support.

I'd echo all the advice here. I wish I had known more about breastfeeding before I started, in particular knowing about cluster feeding and how time consuming feeding can be! I really wish I'd known you could get thrush in your milk ducts. By the time it was diagnosed I was in a lot of pain. That and a bad latch took ages to fix.

I also wish I'd had more help around the house or, alternatively, been able to turn a blind eye to the mess. I'm glad I'd stocked the freezer with two weeks' worth of healthy meals but really two weeks was not enough. Get as much help around the house as possible so you can focus on feeding, and try to see bf as a chance to sit and rest. Eat and drink LOADS. It uses lots of energy and you'll also be tired from giving birth. Continue to take your pregnancy vitamins as iron etc might be low.

I had lots of advice from a brilliant NCT bf counsellor to get the latch right. After my wonderful homebirth I was then pretty much alone to figure it out, and the visiting midwives in the first 10 days all showed me different ways of doing things.

Like Stefka (hi there!) I'm still having various problems but am really glad I've got this far. It's the hardest thing I've ever done but very satisfying when it starts to go right. That said, it might be plain sailing for you and I do wish you lots of luck.

My number one tip is that you can use both boobs for one feed. No one told me that, and one evening as I sat in tears after emptying one boob and my baby still crying in hunger I picked up the Gina Ford book as a last resort (we can mention her now can't we?!) and she said - use both boobs. So I emptied the other one too. Baby stopped crying! From then on I always emptied one and offered the other, then on the next feed started on the one he finished from last and vice versa. Job done!

I know I sound like a div, but I was never told I should feed from both boobs in one session. Doh!

My biggest problem to start with was allowing him to suck long after he'd finished drinking "just in case". This meant I was stuck sitting there for much longer than neccessary and had very sore nipples! Watch for the signs of drinking and when baby stops take them off!

your local nct might run one-off antenatal bf classes. Ours did - cost £8 I think.

make sure your dh understands it is his job to keep visitors away to give you and the baby the privacy and time you need to establish bf. You should be in bed with the baby not up serving tea and biscuits to his bloody mother (personal demon there) .

erm..can you really make custard with formula?!!!Have had a unopened tin for 6 months and not sure how to ethically dispose of it..maybe should just chuck it?