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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Wedding in two weeks and breastfeeding

45 replies

danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 11:23

It is my wedding in just over two weeks and I've been wondering how I will manage breastfeeding during it. I've been trying to build up a freezer stash to take with us on the day so family can give our baby girl EBM from a bottle, however since I had a bereavement a week and a half ago, my supply has plummeted (as I've said on a previous post) and there just isn't enough there at the moment. Ive spoken to HV, midwife and been in touch with local BF group who have all given the same advice, but to no avail. She's still on the boob on demand also.

I'm still not managing to express much at all, and it's going to be difficult to step in and out of my dress every time our daughter needs a feed, which is still every 3 hours and then she tends to cluster feed on an evening.

Would I be better off taking what EBM I have in the freezer and topping up with formula if need be?

Please no unkind comments, I have been doing all I could to ensure she had enough breastmilk for the day but since the bereavement, it's had an impact on feeding/expressing.

OP posts:
Missmonkeypenny · 09/11/2021 11:29

You'll be fine with EBM and formula is needed OP. You don't say how old DD is but you'll need to pump or feed for comfort during the day for sure - even when I went back to work when DS was 14 months I had to pump twice on a 10 hour shift because of how engorged I became. I'd also be qary of not feeding/pumping all day if your supply has already taken a hit Flowers

Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 11:35

@Missmonkeypenny

You'll be fine with EBM and formula is needed OP. You don't say how old DD is but you'll need to pump or feed for comfort during the day for sure - even when I went back to work when DS was 14 months I had to pump twice on a 10 hour shift because of how engorged I became. I'd also be qary of not feeding/pumping all day if your supply has already taken a hit Flowers
My little girl is 5 weeks old and will be just over 7 by the time we get married. I know I'll need to hand express throughout the day for my own comfort, just been worrying myself silly that she won't have enough during the day as I'm not able to express the 4-5oz I was managing a few weeks ago. Thank you for your reply 😊
OP posts:
NigellaSeed · 09/11/2021 11:45

Have you tried your baby with a bottle to make sure she'll accept it.

Formula will be fine if you express throughout the day. And enjoy!!

Sorry for your loss.

Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 11:53

@NigellaSeed

Have you tried your baby with a bottle to make sure she'll accept it.

Formula will be fine if you express throughout the day. And enjoy!!

Sorry for your loss.

Yeah she has had EBM in a bottle quite a few times. We were giving her two a day but have reduced this since I was unable to express as much and she is now back to EBF.
OP posts:
shouldistop · 09/11/2021 13:24

If you don't feed or express all day your breasts are going to end up very sore and leaky.
I'd aim to to do the 3 hourly feeds directly and ask someone to give formula or your frozen milk for the cluster feeding and then you can relax a bit.

Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 13:39

@shouldistop

If you don't feed or express all day your breasts are going to end up very sore and leaky. I'd aim to to do the 3 hourly feeds directly and ask someone to give formula or your frozen milk for the cluster feeding and then you can relax a bit.
Yeah I'm intending to hand express throughout the day just to avoid soreness
OP posts:
shouldistop · 09/11/2021 13:43

It's probably more faff hand expressing than just feeding tbh.
I went on a hen do when ds2 was 7 months old and just hand expressed every 3 hours into a sink. I was in absolute agony that night Sad

shouldistop · 09/11/2021 13:44

If you're worried about alcohol then don't be. If you're sober enough to hold your baby then you're sober enough to feed.

Haiyaa · 09/11/2021 13:44

Will she be coming with you? I took DD to a wedding at 6 weeks (where I was the Maid of Honour), and another at around 12 weeks both EBF. Took her with me whilst getting ready, an emergency bottle of BM for the church service then fed throughout the day as normal. Both venues were asked for a quiet place where I could feed which was provided and honestly I enjoyed the peace and quiet. Unless you don’t want to BF at the wedding it is quite doable.

FTMbg · 09/11/2021 13:52

What a difficult time to have a bereavement. I'm sorry for your loss.
Are you managing to eat plenty? Just asking cos I lost weight in pregnancy after a bereavement, it's easy to forget to eat or only nibble at things when you're grieving. Everyone's different but in my early days breastfeeding I had to eat ridiculous amounts to keep going, like a packet of chocolate biscuits a day on top of normal large meals. I just wondered if there might be a way to boost your supply by upping food intake if you're not having much, maybe Fortisips or something. Sorry if I'm barking up the wrong tree.

Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 14:02

@shouldistop

If you're worried about alcohol then don't be. If you're sober enough to hold your baby then you're sober enough to feed.
If I was feeding her throughout the day, then I'd only have one glass of champagne for the toast xx
OP posts:
Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 14:03

@FTMbg

What a difficult time to have a bereavement. I'm sorry for your loss. Are you managing to eat plenty? Just asking cos I lost weight in pregnancy after a bereavement, it's easy to forget to eat or only nibble at things when you're grieving. Everyone's different but in my early days breastfeeding I had to eat ridiculous amounts to keep going, like a packet of chocolate biscuits a day on top of normal large meals. I just wondered if there might be a way to boost your supply by upping food intake if you're not having much, maybe Fortisips or something. Sorry if I'm barking up the wrong tree.
Hi, no to be honest I'm probably not eating as much as I was prior to the bereavement. I'm doing my best to have enough to eat, but some days I just can't face it. Thank you for your kind words xx
OP posts:
Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 14:05

@Haiyaa

Will she be coming with you? I took DD to a wedding at 6 weeks (where I was the Maid of Honour), and another at around 12 weeks both EBF. Took her with me whilst getting ready, an emergency bottle of BM for the church service then fed throughout the day as normal. Both venues were asked for a quiet place where I could feed which was provided and honestly I enjoyed the peace and quiet. Unless you don’t want to BF at the wedding it is quite doable.
Hi, yes she is coming with us and we have a room where I could go to feed. I think by the sounds of it, it's probably going to be easier to just feed her every 3 hours and use what EBM I have in the freezer, to use for the times she's usually cluster feeding on an evening xx
OP posts:
Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 14:06

@shouldistop

It's probably more faff hand expressing than just feeding tbh. I went on a hen do when ds2 was 7 months old and just hand expressed every 3 hours into a sink. I was in absolute agony that night Sad
Bless you I can only imagine. I could take a breast pump, but then might as well just take our daughter with me and feed her myself, would be much less hassle and she'd be having feeds straight from me too xx
OP posts:
gogohm · 09/11/2021 14:11

I fed just before the ceremony (luckily only a 5 min drive) then feed after photos before reception began then again after food and speeches. Mum gave her a bottle of formula mid evening as she alway cluster fed, then I changed out of my wedding dress about 11 as it was getting chilly anyway (garden reception) then I could feed her as normal.

ItWorriesMeThisKindofThing · 09/11/2021 14:17

What a difficult time for you, to have a bereavement just now. I haven’t seen your other post, but I think it’s likely not that your supply has reduced exactly (as sounds like feeding directly from the breast is going well) but that the stress has probably affected your let down reflex so you are not able to get as much as usual while pumping. Resting as much as you can and keeping hydrated is a good thing to do for you.

Your plan sounds good, maybe with some back up formula too just in case as you don’t want to be feeling unnecessary stress on the day/night. Hope you have a lovely wedding,

Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 14:20

@gogohm

I fed just before the ceremony (luckily only a 5 min drive) then feed after photos before reception began then again after food and speeches. Mum gave her a bottle of formula mid evening as she alway cluster fed, then I changed out of my wedding dress about 11 as it was getting chilly anyway (garden reception) then I could feed her as normal.
It does sound as though feeding her is going to be much less hassle throughout the day and I'll take my expressed milk for the night time when she would usually be cluster feeding for a good few hours xx
OP posts:
shouldistop · 09/11/2021 14:25

I'm sorry for your loss Thanks as others have said, rest, drink plenty of water and eat some nourishing food. If your appetite isn't great then try drinking soup out of a mug - sometimes it's easier to face than a plate of food.

Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 14:25

@ItWorriesMeThisKindofThing

What a difficult time for you, to have a bereavement just now. I haven’t seen your other post, but I think it’s likely not that your supply has reduced exactly (as sounds like feeding directly from the breast is going well) but that the stress has probably affected your let down reflex so you are not able to get as much as usual while pumping. Resting as much as you can and keeping hydrated is a good thing to do for you.

Your plan sounds good, maybe with some back up formula too just in case as you don’t want to be feeling unnecessary stress on the day/night. Hope you have a lovely wedding,

Thank you for your kind words. Yeah feeding her directly is going better, although when the bereavement first happened, she was fussing quite a bit for a few days. It was as if she couldn't get the milk quick enough, but that seems to have calmed down now thankfully and she is feeding normally again.

I am drinking a lot through the day, but my appetite has taken a bit of a nosedive since the bereavement, so it could be do to with that as well as grieving and stress. I have some formula as back up too, but from everyone's advice, I will probably end up feeding her myself and then using the EBM I have in the freezer, to use for the time she would usually cluster feed on a night xx

OP posts:
Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 14:26

@shouldistop

I'm sorry for your loss Thanks as others have said, rest, drink plenty of water and eat some nourishing food. If your appetite isn't great then try drinking soup out of a mug - sometimes it's easier to face than a plate of food.
Thank you, that is a good idea about the soup! Hadn't thought of it but will definitely give it a go xx
OP posts:
shouldistop · 09/11/2021 14:27

For the bottles for cluster feeding; take several bottles with small amounts of milk in each rather than a couple with bigger amounts.
As she's usually breast fed this is what she's used to getting at that time of day as milk supply is lower in the evening. You also don't want to waste any if she doesn't finish a bottle.

Original poster
danielle26390 · 09/11/2021 14:29

@shouldistop

For the bottles for cluster feeding; take several bottles with small amounts of milk in each rather than a couple with bigger amounts. As she's usually breast fed this is what she's used to getting at that time of day as milk supply is lower in the evening. You also don't want to waste any if she doesn't finish a bottle.
Great, thank you for the tip! We have 6 bottles so hoping that will be enough xx
OP posts:
LifeIsBusy · 09/11/2021 14:33

Have you tried a Hakka or similar to express? Hook it onto the other side with proper suction then you can collect whilst your LO is feeding on the other side then build it up slowly rather than getting the time to get the pump out.

In terms of comfort for one day you'll be able to go more than the 3 hours and probably closer to 6 before the comfort is an issue (I had my gallbladder removed when LO was 7 weeks).

Other than that it will just be down to timing life well and hoping for the best 🤣.

AreYouRightThereSkippy · 09/11/2021 14:33

I'd also be more worried about you than your dd who will be fine with EBM and formula. I know you said feeding is less faff than pumping with a pump, but it may not be... I exclusively pumped with one of mine and it can be minimal faff especially if you aren't planning to use the milk, so you don't need to store it or sterilise everything?

Don't get mastitis at your wedding! It's bloody horrible.

DriftingBlue · 09/11/2021 14:34

If you do use some formula for backup, don’t have your wedding day or even the day before be the first dc has formula. Do a trial a week ahead of time. Sometimes babies don’t notice the difference. Sometimes tummies have interesting reactions and need a bit of time to adjust. Not something you want to experiment with during the wedding.

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