Stressed and upset, please help!

[PL2021]

I am totally at a loss tonight with what to do to help DD. She is 8 days old and has been completely unsettled all afternoon and evening. She has had her feed (EBM) 2 hours ago and is still now screaming uncontrollably

We have topped up with a little more milk thinking perhaps she is still hungry, but she is still crying (even after a total of 3 ounces). Could it be that she is still hungry? Or is it more likely wind? We don't want to keep giving her milk if it's not hunger as we don't want to end up making her wind worse or making her vomit. Is 3 ounces per feed too much for her age?

I am getting myself very upset feeling like a bit of a failure because I just don't know what to do to help her. Has anybody got any advice on what they think she needs/wants?

At this stage she probably is going through a growth spurt and building up your supply so putting in her orders! Just go with the flow. You can't over feed her.
Google cluster feeding - its entirety normal.
Don't forget the non nutritive benefit of breastfeeding too; the closeness and comfort of suckling is good her her.
Congratulations!

things to try are:
the tiger hold
a bath (just her, or you and her)
a sling
music
going outside
rubbing her tummy/cycling her legs
skin to skin

is she fed from your breast or bottle? if breast then maybe try different positions, perhaps lying down or laid back breastfeeding.

I found it hard for the first few weeks in the evenings as I couldn't settle my baby, its not anything you are doing wrong, it's just how they are (the witching hour/s) just do what you can to settle and soothe her and swap with your partner/family regularly so you can have a break.

Cluster feeding is normal for this age. It's to help build up your supply. They often don't eat that much, but they constantly suckle to build your supply.

If youre not feeding from the breast then obviously this build up won't happen so you might want to mimic it with lots of expressing just so your supply keeps up.

She may well just want to suckle if you're confident it's not wind or hunger. You could try a dummy or just putting her on the breast (if you can, not sure of your reasons for expressing).

The cries for hunger/wind/uncomfortable, etc do sound different but it takes a while to get your ear in. It'll get easier to tell as time goes on.

Do you offer the boob every time she cries? Don’t worry if the last feed was 5 min ago!

More than 3oz would definitely be unusual. I think we were on 2oz at that age but no harm in offering as long as you are doing paced feeding with the bottle (horizontal feeding with slow teat etc).

To me I'm afraid it sounds like reflux or colic starting.

Cluster feeding is totally normal at this age. They are establishing their milk supply and they do it whether breast or bottle fed.

If you're feeding at the breast, put her on every time she cries. It's tiring and you might have days where she's on you a lot. This is normal and it get better as your milk gets established.

Read up on the fourth trimester and witching hours.

Both mine cried every evening between 7 and 9pm until about 3 months old. Perfectly normal and we just got comfy on the sofa and fed through it. Eat before it starts as well.

She is fed from a bottle. She had 3 ounces at 6:40pm and started screaming almost straight after. We assumed it was wind so tried burping her, rocking her, checked her nappy, but still inconsolable

We have since given her another bottle of which she has taken another 1.5 ounce. She does now seem to be settling slightly more (less crying/screaming)

I feel like such a bad mum if it has been hunger all along and we've been treating it like wind.

Now I am totally confused as to when we next feed her. I know its supposed to be every 3 hours roughly, but now shes had 2 relatively big feeds in the space of 2 hours, do we time it 3 hours from now? Or do we leave her to tell us when she is ready again? And do we offer a full feed again next time or slightly less because she has had a lot in the last 2 hours?

So sorry for the constant questions and essays. We are still learning and I know its going to take a while, I'm just getting myself in a frenzy trying to do the right thing for her

I would offer her milk whenever she's hungry. She will be attempting to build your supply and this is how they do it. Best advice is...

Get comfortable with snacks, water and comfy cushions and just keep your baby at the boob and let her sickle as much as she likes. It's really hard going but i promise it does get easier! Xx

Just seen she's bottle fed - are you pumping for every feed? If you are then you have my sympathies as that must be very hard work. I would perhaps try a dummy to see if that soothes her.

There may be a reason you aren't breastfeeding but exclusive pumping is tough - there is lots of support out there if you'd like her to latch on to you.

You're doing a great job!

Yes, feed her around

At this age it's little and often. You can time 3 hours from the start of the feed but don't stress if she asks for milk before then. This is normal and will settle.

Offering an oz at a time during cluster feeds can help.

If you're wanting to breastfeed at the breast, now is a good time to just have her latch as much as she can.

Sorry, feed her around 2.5-3 hours from now if she'll go that long, and offer a full feed again

I don't know how it works for you if you're giving her breast milk from a bottle but she is wired to cluster feed and won't know the difference.

My boy is 6 weeks old now and the cluster feeding has calmed (for the time being), but when they're in full cluster feeding mode you are literally passing them from one boob to the next constantly. There was a point where he'd be feeding constantly for an hour then break for a half hour (if that) before feeding again.

And yes they may bring up milk. I went through a ridiculous amount of outfit changes with him before I got the hang of things and he still brings up a fair amount now. It doesn't matter. He's piling on the weight.

They cry? Offer them the boob. Always.

It passes. As long as your wee one is gaining weight and having plenty of wet and dirty nappies then everything is just fine. You're doing fab. Just feed as and when. There's no schedule.

Oh and the feeding every 3 hours thing is just a guideline. Sometimes my boy will feed every half hour. Sometimes he's gone 4 hours or more without (now that he's established my supply). It's best to just take their lead.

My first response to crying is always boob first. Always. Anything else is secondary if boob isn't the answer.

Thank you everyone. I am pumping for every feed at the moment, but getting a bit concerned that she'll catch up with me soon and we might have to top up with formula here and there. Topping up up formula doesn't concern me too much but I am worried it may make matters worse in terms of wind and digestion if she is a bit refluxy.

We had a very unsettled night. We did top her up with a small bottle a few times which did seem to pacify her, but then I think she had got herself overtired and we really struggled to get her off to sleep.

I'm sure we'll figure things out soon, I just hate not knowing what it is she needs, I know its normal but agh it's so hard

@PL2021 it's really early days! You'll get there. You sound like an amazing mummy xxx