Tandem feeding

[wolfmama]

I'm currently feeding DS (14mo) in early weeks of pregnancy. Bit sore but not to bad. Need to stop night feeds as knackered. Mum is ging to come stay to ehlp with that. She thinks it would be easiest if I stop feeding altogether, but I don't mind continuing day feeds (it's not every day as I work some days).
Any experiences of similar situations? DS is a bit of an addict and I don't know how quickly he'll adapt to stopping altogether. Equally, if I still feed him in the day time, will it mean he continues to think he can ask for feeds in the night?
I've read Elizabeth Pantley and thought the ideas good but somehow, we're still stuck with him waking at night and at the moment, screams if anyone but me goes to him. It's exhausting as I'm sure many of you have experienced! Let's hope the next one sleeps better!

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I highly recommend Adventures In Tandem Nursing (by Hilary Flower, I think).

It has excellent coverage of almost anything relating to breastfeeding during pregnancy and tandem breastfeeding. Very good book.

On stopping the night feeds, we had DH just take over at night for a week and tell DS when he woke up and wanted a feed that it was time for sleeping, and Mummy was asleep, and he could have a feed in the morning but not now, and he could have a cuddle instead. The first night was a bit horrendous (felt very sorry for DH the next day) but the second was far easier and the third he woke up, had a brief grumble and then dropped off again. He was nearly two, though, so a bit older than yours.

I actually miscarried that pregnancy but am 24 weeks now. DS more-or-less self-weaned a couple of weeks back -- at least, he has self-weaned for now but I know from my trusty AITN that that doesn't mean he's necessarily given up for good. There's a reasonable chance he'll pick it up again later in pregnancy or when the new baby arrives, apparently.

Wolfmama - SNAP! DD is nearly 14 months and I'm 6 and a half weeks and still nursing her. Have no advice I'm afraid. She's had ALL her top teeth come through in the last week so has turned into a bitey milk monster.

However for the night feeds, I sincerely recommend a non nursing bra and lots of layers so that when you go in, half asleep, you don't forget and get your norks out (as I do) only to then curse because your child has smelled the milk and is now angry that you've put them away again!

Good luck!

Ha! I post that yesterday and sure enough DS was back to nursing this morning...

i'm currently pg with dc3 and feeding 9mo ds2, i;'ve found that instead of going off it, he loves it even more! i personally think if you can keep going till baby born and feed at same time you wont have to amuse a toddler whilst bfing!! if he's not ready to stop, dont force it as you'll cause yourself more grief.

Bealcain - wow! That's impressive. I think you get the 'Grand Order of the Norkage' prize this week

DD is also overly interested in milk now

Thanks guys, that's made me feel better and given me a few ideas.

I had a similar experience to PortAndLemonaid with night weaning when I was pg with dd2. DD1 was co-sleeping and feeding 4 or 5 times some nights (then about 19 mths). Dh started putting her to bed and we explained to her that she would have cuddles instead of milk during the night. After 2 or 3 awful nights she was fine, and we even carried on co-sleeping for part of the night (which I enjoyed).

She carried on bfing happily during the daytime during the rest of the pg, and we did tandem feeding for 6 months after dd2 was born, which worked absolutely fine.

Best of luck.

i tandem fed ds2 and ds3, i cut down on the night feeds gradually, tried to pat ds2 on the back etc (he slept with us) and letting daddy have a go at comforting, it didnt work overnight but i got it down to a feed at bedtime, one at around midnight and then no feeds till after 6am, which i could cope with and then one night he didnt wake for the midnight feed

i ended up feeding ds2 until he was almost 4 and am still feeding ds3 who is now nearly 3, i am 29wks preg with no 4 yes i am mad

again i worked on gradually cutting out the night feeds and now ds3 feeds at 7:30 and then not again till after 7am in the morning, he feeds on demand during the day, which is totally variable.

oh and if it helps any, i found bfeeding EXTREMELY painful for the first 3 or 4 mths of pregnancy but then it eases of and now although the initial latch makes me curse slightly, its fine after 20 secs or so

I fed both ds1 and ds2 (my second and third dcs), who are 21 months apart for just over a year. Ds1 was still feeding at night when I was first pregnant. He substantially increased his food intake, decreased his milk intake, and consequently started sleeping through at about 15 months, after we went away for a weekend and he was too busy to think about bfeeding.

I found feeding a bit uncomfortable, but not painful for the first few weeks of pregnancy.

I did worry about whether ds1 would mind sharing, but when I was about 8 months pg I was holding a friend's newborn, and he toddled over, patted my breast and pointed to the baby, so I guessed he would be fine with it, and he was.

After ds2 was born I had loads and loads and loads of millk, certainly no problems with supply, presumably due to the frequent stimulation.

I didn't mind that I was feeding two babies, but I actually didn't at all like feeding both of them together. When ds2 was very tiny I could hold him in the rugby ball position, pu ds1 across me and feed them both. I could also arrange them and me with pillows on the bed to feed both at the same time. But once I was arranged I couldn't move or do anything, and I felt very bovine, so I tried to feed them separately. I only ever did it privately as it was very exposing

It wasn't all that long (but I can't remember how long) before I was only feeding ds1 in the morning and evening while dh changed and dressed or undressed ds2.

I weaned ds1 just before he was 3 as I had it firmly fixed in my mind that I didn't want to be feeding a 3yo, and I was a bit sick of tandem feeding. He wasn't pleased, but he wasn't distressed either. I think he would have carried on for a long time if I had let him. When ds2 reached 3 I was a lot less bothered as it seemed a bit arbitrary to say "stop before 3" and I could see he was losing interest. He actually weaned a couple of weeks ago at about 3y4mo, but for a while he had only been feeding about 3-4 times a week.

If I were to be completely honest, I'd have to admit that I would prefer not to tandem feed again, but on the other hand, I would also prefer not to wean a toddler who wasn't ready for it. However, I'm unlikely to have another one, never mind two more children, so I don't expect to have to make that decision!

3madboys - blimey - you must be able to eat all day and still be stick thin?! I'm having a really hard time eating enough with DD1 and the baby bean too?

I find it hurts when she latches on and then after a few seconds it's fine. But when I first bf DD, it was the same, painful let down - apparently it's normal for some women with very high prolactin levels.