Argh I have made a terrible mistake (weaning/night weaning)

[Etherealhedgehog]

DD (12mo) has been sleeping through the night for about 3-4 months - we dropped her last night feed when it got so late (early) that she stopped being able to go back to sleep after. All good. But in the last couple of weeks she's started nursery (which she loves) and caught her first nasty virus - I was worried about dehydration so started feeding her whenever she woke up in the night - anything up to four times. She's now over the virus but still waking up in the night and, unlike previously, she is very noisy and angry if we try to settle her with anything other than boob (up to now, occasional night wakings were dealt with by sshhing and patting).

I want to re-night wean her and unsure the best way to do it - should I just go cold turkey and stop all night feeds in one go - presumably resulting in some very noisy nights but hopefully she'll figure it out in a few days? Should I go back to the rules we had during sleep training (no feed before midnight, at least 4 hours between feeds) in the hopes that it will happen naturally over not too much time, as it did in the past?

Sidenote: I have my first overseas work travel in early December and was planning anyway to fully wean her off the boob in the next month.

I'm obviously glad I had an easy way to keep her hydrated while she was sick but exhausted and a bit bummed this has become a source of stress right towards the end of our breastfeeding journey.

Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

How did you nightwean her the first time round?

It pretty much happened organically off the back of sleep training. She had been a feed to sleep baby but we did gradual retreat and she immediately went from five wakes (feeds) per night down to one. And I would only do that feed after midnight, so shh pat only if she woke earlier. The one feed got later and later until it got to about 5.30 and she was incapable of getting back to sleep after so we basically dropped it/that became her wake up time. My worry is that having lost and then regained it, she feels like she's going to cling on much more tightly - seems like she's absolutely furious if we try anything else when she wakes up, same if I try to fob her off with less than two sides. (Also dropped day feeds in the last few months, so she had been on morning and evening only, though they also made a comeback while she was ill - I think she would be screaming for that also, except she's now back in nursery all day so not an option)

You could try Dr Jay Gordon's Method, it's very gentle.

It sounds like she's 'reverse cycling' because she's away from you all day. And/or using the feeding at night as a way to reconnect with you.
I wouldn't let it be a source of stress, I'd probably just go with it just now as she settles into nursery and her new routine.
Or you could maybe try having a long bath/ feeding session with her every evening so she can reconnect that way.

Combo of reverse cycling and probably getting over the cold. They start to get much more separation anxiety around this age, nursery will also cause this too.

Personally I rolled with it as it was the quickest and easiest way for everyone to get some sleep and co slept and night weaned at age 3 with both, though it's not for everyone.

You may find sleep goes up and down a lot though over the next couple of years whether you feed or not. Nightmares for example start around 2.

Jay Gordon is good, I think you do co sleep though.

The other issue is that they catch around 10 viruses a year. That's the main reason I found myself feeding for so long with my first who caught everything under the sun and always had high fevers too. There was never the opportunity to stop!

We did Dr Jay gordon, took a week, first few nights were bad then fine! After that gave water in sippy cup at night if poorly.