Shall I stop breastfeeding my 2 m/o?

[Tiagao]

I have been seriously considering stopping breastfeeding. My lo is just over 2 months old. For the past two months, we experienced a difficult birth (and we were separated on Day 1 because he needs intensive treatment), tongue tie, frequent recurring blocked ducts, and finally last weekend, mastitis. I had a fever of more than 39 degrees, a huge hot lump on my breast, and a big clear blister on my nipple. As my immune system weakened, I also got other viral infection on my throat. It was horrible.

We clearly didn't establish full breastfeeding. He takes the bottle well. I usually breastfeed him as the start of a session and then add formula top up. At the moment half of his milk intake is formula.

Now I'm thinking to completely stop breastfeeding. I can't afford repeated blocked ducts - clearly there's something wrong. I asked a lactation consultant. She said my milk ducts are very thin, and each nipple has only 3-5 pores, whereas most breastfeeding moms should have 10+. But when I speak to my husband, my mom, and our maternity nanny, they all said "the baby is only 2 months, he's too little to stop breastfeeding" although they did also say they respect my decision. Still, I'm in a dilemma and feel guilty to stop this early. At the same time, I have become paranoid with lumps, constantly checking if there's any; and whenever I find a new blockage, I am very sad and afraid.

I wonder what would you do if you were me?

Do whatever you want to do! It’s your body, your choice, and a fed baby is a happy baby, however your LO gets their food!

Two months is better than not at all, if it’s causing you distress, you’ll pass this on to baby. It’s meant to be a relaxing enjoyable experience.
It’s all well and good for your husband to make comment they will never fully understand.
I only breastfed for about four weeks due to extreme nipples. I did express milk for a couple of weeks after that before going onto formula. Do what’s best for you and baby, don’t feel distressed nor guilty. You’ve done good doing two months.

**That was meant to say extremely sore and painful nipples

To get to 2 months is amazing and you should be proud of yourself! If it's effecting you physically and mentally it's ok to stop, and don't let anyone convince you to keep going if it's not what you want. Babies do fine on formula, mine did.

Be kind to yourself. It's your decision - you don't need others permission. There are many benefits of breastfeeding but baby also needs a happy and well mummy.
If you aren't 100% sure what you want to do give it another week and see how you feel then. Repeat until you have made a decision.
I struggled through to 3 months and then things improved so bf for a year in the end but there are times when I wonder if it was worth the suffering of the first 3 months!

Stop now. You have done a difficult and incredible thing. I would be stopping with zero guilt and a feeling of pride. You persevered through so much and you did two months. Enough. More than enough. Flipping gold standard top mothering award.

Sorry it's been tough.

Have you tried Lecithin? That solved my recurring blocked ducts almost immediately. Definitely don't feel guilty in stopping but if you would want to continue without the blocked duct issue, I'd try a few days of a high dosage of Lecithin. You can get it on Amazon.

I’ve BF both my children, youngest is 4.5 months and honestly I’m a huge fan on BF it’s a massive benefit to the child if you can continue with it.

However, let’s be very very clear here, YOU MATTER TOO, although it never feels like that in the newborn stages. You’ve had a really tough run and 8 weeks is a massive achievement in itself so if now is the time for you to stop then follow your gut instinct. Happy healthy mum, happy healthy baby!
Would I have continued to BF if it was having horrible physical/emotional consequences, no I would not xxx

Thank you all for your support. I feel a lot better and have started to wean off, but immediately hit a problem. As I reduce the length of feeding session and give more formula top up during the day, I have blockage again at night. Same location as the one that turned into mastitis.
It's 3am now. I just finished a feed. Had an hour of massage and hot compress before the session, and 20 minutes pumping after that. Took me a total of 2 hours to do all these but the lump is still there.
Now the million dollar question is how to stop without having more blockage.

You need to slowly reduce the length of one feed at time and wait a few days in between reducing the length of the next feed.

You also need to be drinking at least 3 litres a day.

You're at the greatest risk of blocked ducts when weaning, somewhat ironically. I've no idea what I'd do if I were you, because I'm not, but if I were me in your position, I'd keep going, but that's me.

Things you can do to clear a blocked duct: get an electric breast pump and pump while massaging over the lump towards the nipple, feed baby with baby's chin pointing at the lump and massage the lump during the feed, pushing gently in the direction of the nipple, feed more often.

I hand expressed and massaged the lumps. I didn't want to over stimulate and produce more milk and within a couple of days the swelling eased by doing it this way.

@Vbree

I hand expressed and massaged the lumps. I didn't want to over stimulate and produce more milk and within a couple of days the swelling eased by doing it this way.

Fair point. I've not needed to reduce my supply so overstimulation wasn't anything I considered, but if OP is trying to stop entirely, hand expressing is probably the way.

You also need to do cold compresses, not hot. You need to reduce swelling. Ibuprofen regularly, too, if not contraindicated. Also look up reverse pressure softening, it's s light mashhad that helps remove oedema from the surrounding tissue so the milk ducts aren't compressed and can empty better through feeding or normal massage.

Warm compresses feel nice and can be soothing, but cold compresses are what will actually help you here. Best of luck whatever decision you make. I struggled for the first 12 weeks then it literally got easy overnight, but that was my decision and dh and my mum both told me I could stop if I wanted (which had the opposite effect as I got determined to carry on then. What can I say, I've always been contrary! Lol)

I did almost everything the LLL, NTC, NHS websites suggest. Also got the maternity nurse to help massaging the breast. Temporarily leaving the weaning idea behind, I put DS on the affected breast a lot, so much that he refuses to take that breast any more as he can't draw any more milk out.

@Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep

You also need to do cold compresses, not hot. You need to reduce swelling. Ibuprofen regularly, too, if not contraindicated. Also look up reverse pressure softening, it's s light mashhad that helps remove oedema from the surrounding tissue so the milk ducts aren't compressed and can empty better through feeding or normal massage.

Warm compresses feel nice and can be soothing, but cold compresses are what will actually help you here. Best of luck whatever decision you make. I struggled for the first 12 weeks then it literally got easy overnight, but that was my decision and dh and my mum both told me I could stop if I wanted (which had the opposite effect as I got determined to carry on then. What can I say, I've always been contrary! Lol)

Makes sense.

Oh, and OP, apparently anywhere between four and twenty milk duct orifices per breast is normal.

www.oviahealth.com/guide/10538/weird-facts-about-breastfeeding/

I breast fed 3 children and each time the first two months were a torture of mastitis , cracked nipples and pain. If you want to stop it's your choice to make, but I just wanted to let you know my experience which was that it took a long, long time to setttle down. I persevered because I couldn't be faffed with sterilizing bottles and I found breast feeding less hassle.

If you really want to stop and it's causing this much pain I would just go straight to formula and hand express and massage the lumps to relieve the pressure even though just a few drops came out. That's what I had to do. Any more stimulation just produced more blockages for me. I found it the most painful thing about having a baby. The c section was a price of cake compared the ago diving blockages and engorgement. Within a few days it eased off and I felt better.

Stupid typos. The agony of blockages and engorgement I mean.

@Vbree

If you really want to stop and it's causing this much pain I would just go straight to formula and hand express and massage the lumps to relieve the pressure even though just a few drops came out. That's what I had to do. Any more stimulation just produced more blockages for me. I found it the most painful thing about having a baby. The c section was a price of cake compared the ago diving blockages and engorgement. Within a few days it eased off and I felt better.

Indeed. A friend of mine also said she chose to go "hardcore". Her breasts were "like stones" for a few days before it sorted itself out.

I wonder how to prevent the lumps to turn into mastitis with this approach? If lumps are not removed in time, they will get infected, no?

I managed to massage out the lumps in the shower before it reached to mastitis, and a small amount of milk came out to relieve the pressure. One of the blockages was starting to get quite red though. I only massaged them when I really had to as I didn't want to stimulate my milk supply. I was just done with the whole thing (I only ever exclusively expressed) and found that after a few days I stopped producing milk and the blockages eased at the same time. It wouldn't hurt to call your GP or talk to a breastfeeding counsellor (NCT often do free Zoom sessions) for some advice but this way worked for me.

Everyone, some updates.

Remember the blister I mentioned in my original post? It turned into a yellow scab yesterday. Turns out that was one of the causes of my blockage! It was so thick! Can you believe it?!

I kept putting DS to the breast. His saliva softened the scab, and he removed the scab forcefully! As I pulled my nipple out, I saw some pus and a little bit of blood coming out, and then milk started squirting out. I was happy and scared, immediately applied some antiseptics and stopped the feeding (probably overreacting)

So I spoke to the GP, and she prescribed me a further course of antibiotics. She said it's likely there's still infection in that location so a stronger antibiotics should help. She also said the injured nipple is not a problem to continue feeding, although I expressed concern that baby's mouth has bacteria that might continue to infect the breast (don't want blister, pus, scab all over again).

Four hours later I fed my baby again. He removed most of the lump. I also saw a milk bleb. Keep feeding. A bit more hard work from DS, the bleb was also removed, came another stream of squirting milk. And finally, the breast is nice and soft.

I'm putting the weaning project on hold now, but focusing on recovering from the infection first. I still don't know how I can successfully kill my supply without having blockage, but I will figure out with a bit more research. Do let me know your weaning experience, much appreciated!

I had bad mastitis at 8 weeks and again at 12 weeks then continued breastfeeding until 3.4 years with no further episodes of mastitis.

Best advice I had for managing mastitis and dodgy ducts (it was the same area of the same boob both times) was to massage the effected area with an electric tooth brush in a hot shower and express in the shower as well. I'd do this any time I felt that area of by boob feeling funny and it always cleared any blockage before it became an issue.

Don't let the one episode of mastitis be the deciding factor for whether you continue breastfeeding, it can be managed.

Something I read that stuck with me is that your baby's relationship with you is far more important that their relationship with your boobs! I had real problems BF-ing and gave up early with both my DC and don't regret it one bit. It definitely made things easier for me.

From what you say it sounds like it is causing you stress and anxiety, so my advice would be to stop

Wow. That's an update and a half! So glad you've cleared the blockage and are feeling better. Remember breastmilk has some antimicrobial properties so don't worry too much about contact infection as long as you keep it otherwise clean and dry.

Whichever way you go I wish you the best of luck. Babies really get much easier soon. 6months onwards especially was so much more fun and predictable (or as predictable as babies ever are!)
Take care