Working from home, breastfeeding, zoom meetings

[jadelou85]

Since the lockdowns my company has set thing up to allow most of us to work from home so my whole return to work hasn't been the wrench / challenge that I thought it would be. We do have a lot of zoom meetings and to start with everyone including my boss was fine if I dropped out of meetings if I needed to feed. I still had the feeling some people thought I was using it as an excuse so a few weeks ago I just told my boss I needed to feed but I was OK to carry on with our meeting. I managed to be discreet and was pretty chuffed with myself until right at the end I had a mssive slip-up becuase I was paying more attention to the meeting than what I was doing. I probably wouldn't have attempted it again after that but since that day I've felt more and more pressure to 'just get on with it' and take the multi-tasking approach. He hasn't been direct about it but my boss has made more than one comment along these lines even though he was always fine with me dropping our occasionally before. I literally feel I'm being pressured into now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lucky to be allowed to work from home but it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office. Can someone help me put this in perspective and even better suggest how to deal with it or how to approach the subject without it being any more uncomfortable than it needs to be?

As a manager, this wouldn't bother me in the slightest. You can still listen and talk whilst breastfeeding so you're still able to work

@DragonMamma

Who’s looking after the baby when you’re working? Maybe that’s the issue?

Does it matter who it is ?

@nc4565

I would have thought that your employer would expect you to be working as if you were in the office, so breastfeeding wouldn't be an option.

As PP have suggested, turn the camera off, or express a bottle.

But you're allowed to pump multiple times a day on the office - I did - which generally takes longer than a feed as well as being signficantly less pleasant for both mother and child, so why would feeding itself be an issue, unless it's unable to be at all managed around meetings, which is an issue (just like someone who wanted to pump at random intervals and sometimes every hour)

Turn the camera off or pump 🤷‍♀️ if your child was at nursery or childminder all day and you were in the office you wouldn't have a choice?
How old is the baby? Over 6 months and if weaned you're being even more unreasonable

Well, do you have a nanny OP? There's a huge leap between protection for bf mums to express at work (in the office) and wfh with baby and nobody else providing childcare.

Lockdown made that arrangement necessary in the short term, when schools and nurseries closed, and family/friend arrangements were restricted.

How can you expect your employer to be OK with you wfh whilst also supervising your baby? There's no way you can effectively do both op, no employer I work with would allow this (outwith covid).

@Couldhavebeenme3

She’s not looking after the baby all day whilst working. She is popping out of work to feed the baby.

As @jadelou85 said, it’s not actually relevant to us who is looking after her baby. It could be a nanny, grandparent or spouse - it’s not important. Her OP is quite specifically asking about popping out of meetings to feed.

@jadelou85

I’d have a direct conversation with your boss, either by email or on the phone. He may let you schedule in feeds at certain times rather than feeding on demand. The conversation may feel awkward but I’ve worked and breastfed and found that being honest and fairly blunt with my employer has helped.
Good luck

When you are working you need to be actually working, not multitasking childcare with attempting to work but not giving it 100%. A generous employer might feasibly agree that you work flexibility 6 hours across an 8 hour day with you dropping work to feed your baby as needed- assuming that someone else is doing allthe childcare that isn't breastfeeding. In that case you should make sure you do a feed just before any scheduled meetings.

If you are actually trying to combine childcare with WFH you are exploiting your employer's good nature and sooner or later they will snap and either get rid of you altogether or impose a much stricter regime than you can live with.

@SinoohXaenaHide

When you are working you need to be actually working, not multitasking childcare with attempting to work but not giving it 100%. A generous employer might feasibly agree that you work flexibility 6 hours across an 8 hour day with you dropping work to feed your baby as needed- assuming that someone else is doing allthe childcare that isn't breastfeeding. In that case you should make sure you do a feed just before any scheduled meetings.

If you are actually trying to combine childcare with WFH you are exploiting your employer's good nature and sooner or later they will snap and either get rid of you altogether or impose a much stricter regime than you can live with.

She has already stated she has someone there to watch the baby who cares who it is

[quote Frogsandsheep]@Couldhavebeenme3

She’s not looking after the baby all day whilst working. She is popping out of work to feed the baby.

As @jadelou85 said, it’s not actually relevant to us who is looking after her baby. It could be a nanny, grandparent or spouse - it’s not important. Her OP is quite specifically asking about popping out of meetings to feed.[/quote]
Thank you...it look like you read what I actually said before replying.

@SinoohXaenaHide

When you are working you need to be actually working, not multitasking childcare with attempting to work but not giving it 100%. A generous employer might feasibly agree that you work flexibility 6 hours across an 8 hour day with you dropping work to feed your baby as needed- assuming that someone else is doing allthe childcare that isn't breastfeeding. In that case you should make sure you do a feed just before any scheduled meetings.

If you are actually trying to combine childcare with WFH you are exploiting your employer's good nature and sooner or later they will snap and either get rid of you altogether or impose a much stricter regime than you can live with.

She has a legal right to pump - and unless she has an older child or is spending far longer periods feeding than she would pumping, she's not therefore legally dropping hours. She has also already said she has childcare.

If you're dropping out of meetings to feed I can see why your boss is annoyed. Don't you miss loads?

I think it depends on your job too. Some are more flexible than others

OP wouldn't expect to be able to express during a meeting in the office, not unreasonable for the boss to expect that whilst wfh op offers the same professional approach and works around the bf or ensures WHOEVER IS LOOKING AFTER THE BABY can distract them for a few minutes whilst op finishes the meeting

@Chewieboora

If you're dropping out of meetings to feed I can see why your boss is annoyed. Don't you miss loads?

I didn't say he was annoyed, I said he was fine with it.

What's the issue then?

Actually you said he’d more than one comment about multitasking.

If you have childcare then you need to schedule feeds around meetings or turn the camera off. Presumably the baby is several months old so relatively predictable.

Your replies are really snappy op. If your boss is fine with it, what's the issue and why start the thread?

I think there is a difference between pumping (which you would schedule for between meetings) and breastfeeding in the middle of a meeting. As a manager, I don't just call meetings willy nilly so everybody can sit there with their cameras off scrolling the internet. They are focused times to get work done. If somebody is talking or presenting, they should have everybody's full attention. I wouldn't think it was ok if people were getting up and down to make cups of tea and I wouldn't think it was ok for people to breastfeed either.

You really don’t need to concentrate on breastfeeding. Perfectly possible to do both and turn the camera off but I don’t get the issue…

There actually isn’t any legal right to pump. Employers are obliged to provide a private and safe space to pump or BF but not obliged to provide regular breaks to do so. www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/work-and-childcare/returning-work/breastfeeding-and-returning-work So saying there is a legal right to BF isn’t going to work.

I agree with the PP who said for me it would depend on the age of the baby. The older they are the more I’d expect you time feeds and calls separately. It also depends on how many calls you have- are you back to back on calls all day or are there plenty of gaps between.

Has anybody said anything to you about it?
Could you not just have put pressure on yourself (in the nicest possible way)?
They could be trying to make you feel comfortable about breatfeeding by encouraging you to carry on the meeting?
I use to turn the camera off and feed baby at the same time!

I think it’s best to have an open conversation with your boss just to be sure you’re on the same page.

OP posts for advice and makes it then appear as if she cannot be bothered to respond in a meaningful way. People give up their time to respond I think you should remember that.

I'm confused. First you said this in your OP

I literally feel I'm being pressured into now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lucky to be allowed to work from home but it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office.

And then this

I didn't say he was annoyed, I said he was fine with it.

If your boss is fine with it then I don't see the problem. It's none of your co worker's business whether you are bfing on a call.