Stopping breastfeeding at 1 year

[theworldhasgoneinsane]

Hi everyone, looking for tips and advice. My DD will be 1 in 2 weeks and I was thinking I'd probably continue bf well into her second year but I'm considering stopping when she turns 1.

But she is fed to sleep, co sleeps, obsessed with boob, feeds frequently night and day. I have no freedom and since she's started teething recently sleeping has became even more of an issue. I want a good night sleep and some routine, especially as I have an older DD who I'm not getting as much time with as I'd like to.

Any tips for stopping? Have people stopped gradually or gone cold turkey? Obviously she won't understand what's happening so I can't explain it to her, I know it will be upsetting for us both and some sleepless nights, I'm prepared for that.

Thanks I'm advance

See how she takes cows milk when she turns 1. If she takes to it well, hopefully you can phase out the bf fairly easily because she’s happy with the alt. Good luck.

She's allergic to cows milk but am going to start trying oat milk as she has that in her foods. She's never taken a bottle though so will only be in a cup so don't think that will particularly be a comfort for her. Trying to think of what I can do to replace the feeding to sleep

I fed mine till about 22 months, and I remember it being easier than I thought to just drop a feed a day over about two weeks then.
I would concentrate on widening her horizons...replace close time feeding with stories or playing together, and try not to feed by default. Feeding to sleep could be tapered off by making all day time naps separate from feeds, only then drop the feed, ifswim. A lot of babies are still drinking from bottles up to the age of two.
I wonder whether having a feeding routine might make breastfeeding a bit more manageable...so 3 feeds a day and one overnight as your goal? Perhaps the co sleeping could be tackled separately...putting baby to bed in cot for naps for example, and bedtime in her own cot, but coming in with you if she wakes at night for one feed, then back in cot again.
Mine once off breast still came in with us at night from 2 to 7 years, on occasion, it isn't the end of co sleeping but they had their own bed!!

I don't know if this is still allowed but diluted juice (not the kind with sweeteners)was a comforting thing to drink from a cup with a spout. But I'm sure that is frowned on. Still, it isn't an different from the sugar in breast milk imho...
Is oat milk suitable to replace breast milk in her diet...I wonder whether suitable non cow's milk formula would be better if you are losing the nutrition of breast milk. I'm not a dietician but should you check this???

Comforting to sleep could be...cuddles, singing a little song, a special toy for bedtime (mine had woolly blankies or knotty rabbits) holding hand, and drinking well diluted juice (not squash) from a sippy cup. And before that a bedtime routine...bath playing on landing story. All very familiar but didn't happen except at bedtime.

Another thought is to look at what she is eating in day...getting the balance so that most of her nutrition is coming from other foodstuffs...carbs protein fruit veg...could she be feeding so often because she isn't eating that much solid food?
So structuring meals might help.
Annabel Karmel and even Gina Ford were helpful to me on that matter...my babies tended to have four meals a day when you take into account bedtime "snack" of toast and milk

Thank you everyone for your replies, really useful advice. I'm trying to get a consistent bedtime routine but with older children, their clubs in the evening etc it's so difficult.

Although she eats really well I am going to start giving her a snack before bed sick toast or cereal, some nights when we eat at 5 she may be hungry come 7ish.

@Nettleskeins

I don't know if this is still allowed but diluted juice (not the kind with sweeteners)was a comforting thing to drink from a cup with a spout. But I'm sure that is frowned on. Still, it isn't an different from the sugar in breast milk imho... Is oat milk suitable to replace breast milk in her diet...I wonder whether suitable non cow's milk formula would be better if you are losing the nutrition of breast milk. I'm not a dietician but should you check this???

Yes she is going to have oat milk if she will take it, I'm going to start trying to get her to have it more often, the dietician said it's the recommended alternative and it's what I drink

Just drop one feed at a time!

I gave DC1 a 360 cup with water in at night when I night weaned. We still co slept so I gave the cup when DC wanted to bf then cuddled through the tears. DC got it really quickly, still used to wake frequently and stick hand out for the cup then go back to sleep. I tackled co-sleeping much later as that worked for us till nearly 2 (although started night in cotbed from age 1). When I weaned fully I just didn't offer and cuddled/distracted/gave snacks/did stories. It wasn't as bad as I imagined.

When i stopped feeding my DD at one she was down to an am feed she was losing interest in and a pm feed she was still enjoying. But i was done i needed my body back and to be less tied with going back to work. She wouldnt drink milk from a cup or a bottle. So we had to go cold turkey. But after three rough nights she started looking round the room. I said to DH go warm up a bottle. And she drank the whole bloody 8oz! I think she just needed to know she wasnt getting anything from me to accept it.

Sounds like it will be harder for you if she is feeding during the day too. Id try and stop the day feeds first. If she is eating solids you can be confident that she doesnt need it then. And its a good starting place for reducing when she less needs the comfort. Nighttimes will be harder but you have been a goddess to get her this far.

@Fispi an alternative drink at night is a good idea, I think the problem is that she doesn't like cups during the day, she likes drinking from me! But she is getting better with cups so a cup of oat milk if she takes to that may be a good start.

@isitweds9thseptyet thank you, I'm pleased with how we have done especially with her allergies etc. I think I just feel like no length of time I feed her for will ever be enough, I want to keep giving her what she wants but it really is making me ill (lack of sleep, lost a lot of weight due to my restricted diet and the amount she feeds). She might surprise me though!

Is going cold turkey the best for boobs to adjust though? I have a friend who did that and although it hurt like hell for a week, after that she was fine, didn't get mastitis or anything

Drop one feed every few days...start with lunchtime feed, then in three days afternoon feed, last feed to go would for me be the first thing in the morning feed (at 7am?) As it is so snuggly and convenient. Nighttime feed once a night might also be handy in emergency comfort situation but you might want to tackle sleeping in her own bed before you can manage that. I can't see how she can wean herself off the breast at night for several feeds while you are co sleeping..once a night is perfectly doable if she is in a cot, and still very cosy and cuddly. A one year old waking once in the night seems to me perfectly reasonable...but if you are there all night she is being locked in a cycle of waking to feed and exhausting you.
Also vitamins for YOU, and maybe less older children's clubs. The family is all interlinked and perhaps it is just too much rushing around, maybe she is tired out herself and feeding constantly is her trying to carve out a safe space, sleep time. Catch 22 for you.

Do you have a partner? Can they to nighttime for a while?

Sorry @shouldistop I've only just seen your post. And actually for the past 3 nights my DH has taken over and done all the night wakings and put her to bed, he's comforted her and she's done so well! She actually only wakes a couple of times in the night, hopefully it lasts!