Trying to stop bf but 11 mth old doesn't like it!! any tips?? sorry, bit long...)

[Babytomsmum]

can anyone advise me on top tips for getting my 11 mth old to accept that i'm not going to bf for ever and that drinking milk from a cup or bottle is a perfectly acceptable alternative! he has four milk feeds a day and for about the last 4 weeks i've replaced his mid-morning feed with formula from a bottle (i've tried various cups but as with his water-drinking he's not that interested. i also thought perhaps a bottle might be an easier transition from bf for him). this hasn't gone well as at the most he only takes a couple of ounces and is more interested in playing with the bottle, turning it upside down and generally just thinking it's all a great game. my main worry is that if i'm not bf then he's just not getting enough to drink. any advice on how i can get him to drink more would be much appreciated as i had hoped to also drop his mid-afternoon bf this week, and eventually to stop bf altogether in the next couple of months (hollow laugh)... tia xx

Hi tomsmum - I fed my DS for 21 months (mainly as I got so stressed out trying to make him give up!) and the only way I could get him to take formula was to use a large Avent bottle with a green 3-holed spout attached to the neck - not a teat to replicate a nipple!

I then gave him small extra feeds to start with to get him used to the idea, without actually reducing the BFs. Then I started dropping day feeds as you've done until all I had left was the bedtime one.

At 21 months, when my DH left to go on op tour, I sat down one night and thought "this is his last feed" and fed him (crying whilst I did it) and then didn't feed him from me the next night.

Now, a year on and he still likes to snuggle against my chest and put his hand down my top - little monkey- but he knows there is no milk for him!

The best thing I did was not trying to make him think he was having breast milk with a teat - keeping the formula drink a new and separate thing until you can drop all the BFeeds.

Good luck.

Hi Tomsmum - I have the same problem with my 13 month DD. I have dropped all but one of the BF (still have the evening one) and have tried to give her cows milk or formula from various cups and beakers. She won't really drink the milk, only likes water. From reading the boards here, I think this is relatively common so I have tried not to get too stressed about it.

I make sure she has lots of yogurts, cheese, sauces made from milk etc. She isn't even that fond of cereal but will eat cheerios etc that have been dipped in milk beforehand. I offer cows milk in a beaker a couple of times a day and she will sometimes have a little, but mainly drinks water

It took a while (couple of weeks) for her to increase water intake when I reduced BF as well.

I have to drop the final feed this week as I am starting fertility treatment again soon, really don't want to stop but know I have to. Will do final feed in the style of luciemule later this week, so sad.

Thanks Lucie - i thought perhaps a bottle wasn't the best idea but he just messes about so much with the cup. i am trying again with a cup today though (yet another new one!). he has his water from an avent cup which sounds exactly like the one you mention. i'm quite keen to get to just a bedtime feed which i'm happy to keep going with for a while. i'll try and give him formula in a cup quite a few times a day to make it a separate thing and see how we go - thanks everso much for your advice x p.s. i think , like you i will find the last feed very difficult and it will be hard to give up completely - it is such a special thing, isn't it

Hello MLO, thanks everso much for your message too - good point about the yogurts etc (he does love yogurt and cheese). Lots of luck with your treatment - ds is an iui baby so know a bit what it can be like x

I wouldn't bother with formula at 11m, though. Go onto cow's milk instead. Cheaper!

And don't worry too much about the not drinking milk thing. Just make sure he gets lots of calcium in other areas of his diet.

Stopping bf is hard, isn't it? DD2 is still going for it at 15m... and so am I!

Thanks NNB (great nickname!), will give it all a try. it is def much harder to stop than i thought it would be pre-baby! we're very lucky it worked out as it can be such a nightmare getting started with it can't it

Getting to 11m is great!

Glad you've enjoyed it. It has suprised me how much I've enjoyed it. I've also been lucky in that it's been a pretty easy road with both babes... and that it's so much more than just feeding. That was the biggest shock for me, I think, esp with dd2... she's wanted to carry on longer than dd1.

Well, well done you too . I was quite surprised at how hard it can be at first as that wasn't something i had expected - i think mums-to-be should be made aware it doesn't necessarily come naturally. at least next time (fingers crossed there'll be one) i'll know what to expect! good luck with your dd's, and thanks again x

I really feel for you madlabowner - it's so heart wrenching to stop but for you, there's a positive reason why you're stopping so try not to worry. You've given your LO lots of lovely breast milk

Thought I'd throw my tuppenceworth in - I've had the same trouble with my dd. I started replacing her daytime feeds with milk from a cup from when she was 7 or 8 months (back to work) and she just spat it out for the first two months, then just refused it, then only took one or two oz and it's only in the past few weeks (11.5mths old) that she's actually actively asked for some more after her customary few sips, held the cup and actually drunk more than one gulp out of it. I guess perseverance is the key! She's dairy intolerant so I was really worried about her calcium (and fluids!) but had to make do with eggs, spinach and lentils as secondary sources.

That is really useful to know Hobnob. I will continue offering cows milk then, as I was about to give up as seemed a bit of a waste of milk!

Luciemule - thanks for the support. I will think positive thoughts this week!