Advice please - breastfeeding and routines!

[GemTubs]

This is my first time using mumsnet so apologies if I make some terrible breach of ettiquette! My husband and I are having a disagreement about breastfeeding routines (or lack thereof) and I was wondering if anyone had any similar experiences or advice.

Our daughter is 4 months old and feeding has always been an issue so much so that I saw a lactation consultant when she was 10 wks for help as the lovely little lady had gone on 'feeding strike' - this coincided with her first lot of jabs. With great determination and much expressing, I managed to get her back to breatfeeding but it really isn't perfect. She cries after feeds and often won't feed for longer than 6 minutes. I now feed roughly every 3 hours, hubby thinks this is too often and we should try introducing a routine of 4 hourly feeds as she would then hopefully feed for longer and maybe we'd get some more sleep. Can breastfed babies 'do' a 4 hourly routine?

Sorry I'm getting a bit rambly, but we're also totally confused about weaning. Would weaning her now help her to settle a bit? The more I read, the more confusing it gets!!

Personally, my DS at 4 months old would not have had a chance of going 3 or 4 hours without a breastfeed. I fed my DS on demand and if this meant only going 15 mins without a feed at 4 months old, then that's what I did. It's only becomes a problem to feed on demand if it is a problem for you or DH not to have a routine. People who have bf babies sleeping through often do cluster feeds in the evening - loads of feeding.

Weaning would probably not help - milk is more nutritious. It is also far easier to wean a 6 months old than a 4 month old as they are more developed and also there is a greater variety of food you can give.

GemTubs - introducing a routine of every four hours risks not meeting your baby's needs, upsetting her, and reducing your milk supply. What is wrong with this picture ?

Your dh may think this would 'make' her feed for longer, but there is no evidence that this 'works'....there really isn't. Many babies, and mothers, 'work' best together doing 'responsive feeding' and you and your baby have reached a 'roughly 3 hrly' routine which is fine, and for some babies, actually not often enough. Your baby might be more settled being close to the breast and able to feel little and often. Just the way she is

Ask him how often he has something to eat and drink, and how we would behave if someone said 'no, you can't have another cup of coffee as you had one an hour ago' or made him drink two cups of coffee to 'make' him not want one for another four hours!!

She's too young to have solids, and they would not help her with settling.

I wouldn't restrict her feeds either. 3 hours between feeds isn't bad. Agree with crokky that weaning will be a bit too much of a fuss with a 4 month old. Good luck, hope you can cling on for a little while until then. I weaned my Ds at 5 months, even then it was a couple of weeks before he'd let a spoon in his mouth. He didn't have a clue what was going on!

3 hours pretty normal but IME, my babies spread out their feeds until about 4-5 months when exclusively BF and then they got progressively closer together until about 7 months when more solid food went in!

You could try encouraging her to cluster feed in the evenings if she's interested, as this often leads to longer stretches at night, if not a full night's sleep. My DS typically starts to feed every 1-2 hours in the evening from about 4-5ish till about 8-9ish, and then often but not always another feed between 10-12... then he often sleeps either till 5-6 or wakes once about 3-4 especially if he hasn't had the late night feed. but I tend to just leave him to decide when he wants to feed, using the times only as a guide to when he's hungry. I did try and space feeds out a bit when he was younger though but only from every hour up to 2-3 hours.

I know of 6 month old babies not going four hours and they have been weaned and are on formula. I think 3 hours is perfectly normal for your lo. my ds was about the same at this age. The guidelines for weaning are 6 months.

My dd2 sounds a bit like your dd. Initially she fed 4 hourly - her doing not mine. Then when she started looking for feeds more often everyone started telling me she needed a bottle of formula as she was wanting to feed too often and clearly not getting enough. Also she has always been a very quick feeder - never ever fed for any more than 10 mins at a time - and that is an absolute maximum. Once I decided to stop watching the clock and feed whenever she wanted we both got on soooo much better. She is 10 months now and still breastfeeding and we held off of weaning til 6 months. Also we didnt actually develop a feeding routine til about 6 months when she went onto solids and its all worked out perfectly - well apart from the night wakings!

Good luck!!

Gemtubs, tiktok is the bf expert on MN and always gives great advice.
Is your dh perchance being given "hints' by his mum? This used to be the case whenever my dh started going on about routines!

Thanks for all the comments - pretty unanimous! My dh is actually brill and v supportive of my decisions, I think we're kind of clutching at straws to just get some sleep! Nice to hear about another super quick feeder, yelnats, everyone else I know can't get their babies off the boob. They're all so different! x