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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Feel I have really let myself down tonight.

17 replies

suiledonn · 01/12/2007 23:29

I went for a meal with a good friend of mine tonight. She brought along a friend of hers who I have met before but don't know very well. She knows I have a young dd but from the way the conversation went is obviously not aware that I breastfed for 10 months. We were having a nice evening when all of a sudden she started telling a story about how she was in a cafe when a woman breastfed her child and how it was disgusting and how could anyone be expected to eat their lunch with that going on etc etc. I was really taken aback and when I tried to make a comment that no one would expect her to eat her lunch in the toilet she totally took me up to wrong way and agreed that the cafe had a lovely bathroom and the woman should have gone in there to feed the baby.
If experienced pro-breastfeeders like me can't even stand up for breastfeeding what chance doea it have of becoming accepted as the wonderful, natural thing that it is?
This girl was horrified by seeing a woman breastfeeding and while I know that is her opinion I wish I had been able to at least express my point of view.

OP posts:
moondog · 01/12/2007 23:33

wot a vile individual

lemonaid · 01/12/2007 23:34

Work out what you should have said and be prepared next time, but don't beat yourself up over it. You were wrong-footed by the social situation and didn't have your Don't Mess With Me hat on...

VeniVidiVickiQV · 01/12/2007 23:36

No you didnt.

She let herself down. Bigoted twat that she clearly is.

pinkspottywellies · 01/12/2007 23:36

Strange woman. Like Lemon says just make sure you're prepared if it happens again.

StarlightMcKenzie · 01/12/2007 23:37

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coldtits · 01/12/2007 23:37

Not your fault she's a nob.

StarlightMcKenzie · 01/12/2007 23:43

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 01/12/2007 23:46

No starlight - the person who made the comments was someone she doesnt know very well.

I'm sure this person is lovely in many other respects, but wrt to doing what nature intended all women to do - she is a bigoted twat.

coldtits · 01/12/2007 23:48

Not scum. Not scourge of the Earth, just a nob. Why should anyone eat in a public toilet just because other people don't like to see the receptacle? Bet she doesn't bat an eyelid at Nuts or Maxim.

If she was that good a friend, she must have know the OP was breastfeeding - to launch a tirade against it is at best stupid.

StarlightMcKenzie · 01/12/2007 23:51

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suiledonn · 01/12/2007 23:53

Thanks for the support girls.

It was a friend of my friend who had this attitude. It feels a bit crap though that my good friend who knows how I feel about breastfeeding joined in with the 'should be kept private' comments. Maybe that is why I feel I have let myself down - I don't really care what the other girl thinks, I know breastfeeding isn't for everyone but I think her comments just show her ignorance on the subject. On the other hand my friend supposedly supported me in breastfeeding but obviously not enough to stand up for me in this situation.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 01/12/2007 23:56

Would it be worth a mention to your friend, next time you see her to say "hey, good night out the other night. But, when x started talking about b/feeding in a negative manner I was disappointed, and felt let down that you appeared to support that view knowing that I b/fed. I didnt want to make much of it at the time - I just wanted to move on and enjoy the evening, but thought you should know that I found it upsetting".

suiledonn · 01/12/2007 23:58

Hi Starlight, unfortunately I didn't get to talk to my friend about it all yet as my dd woke up a bit upset so I had to go home rather suddenly to her. I am definitely going to speak to my friend about it though. I know it is an emotive subject and she was probably trying to keep the peace but it is hard to hear something you loved described as disgusting. I wish I had been able to speak up for myself.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 02/12/2007 00:05

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weewishyouamerryonion · 02/12/2007 00:28

i think vvv's suggestion is a good one - to let your friend know that you were uncomfortable / upset.

Stefka · 02/12/2007 10:04

Everything is easy in retrospect - it is always easy to look back and see the things you could have said. Her comments must have taken you by surprise as well as being very upsetting. I think you did well to respond at all. I am sorry you had to deal with that.

moondog · 02/12/2007 19:42

Stefka,how is your breastfeeding coming along?

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