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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

has anyone else been through this? my 10 month old ds suddenly refuses to breastfeed and seems scared/repulsed by my boobs!

25 replies

Ilovebuttons · 30/11/2007 16:43

I have googled it and read about 'milk strike's which I think this might be

The last time he fed happily in the day he bit me lightly and I pulled away and said 'no' and he started screaming. I hadn't reacted strongly and didn't expect him to be upset about it and put it down to him being tired, but now I think it might have put him off.

I've been following the advice of skin to skin contact and lots of cuddles but every time I try to feed him he squirms away and cries - he won't look at or touch the nipple area!

Do you think I should just move to formula? I was planning to breastfeed till he was a year old.

It's hard not to feel upset and rejected by him about this - feeding has been going smoothly I really wasn't expecting this problem!

any experience or advice?

OP posts:

monkeybird · 30/11/2007 17:26

dunno but bumping for you...

Original poster

Ilovebuttons · 30/11/2007 17:26

oh, and I forgot to say - this started 2 days ago he is teething which might be adding to it

OP posts:

Upsidedowncake · 30/11/2007 17:28

I had this with ds at that age. He kept pulling away as though he'd been burnt.

And then a upper row tooth came through later that afternoon.

The refusal to feed only lasted a few hours

Upsidedowncake · 30/11/2007 17:29

X post. Sounds like it could be teeth. Have you tried giving him an open cup of your milk?

So stressful/ Very osrry for you.

Original poster

Ilovebuttons · 30/11/2007 17:40

thanks udc
yes, I have been expressing and giving milk in a cup. I think he's getting his 5th tooth so maybe it is that but it's so strange that he won't even look at my nips!

OP posts:

monkeybird · 30/11/2007 19:22

OK I'm no psychological genius but when my oldest two went to nursery they used to ignore me when I went to pick them up, which I always thought was weird until someone told me it's pretty normal for kids or anyone to studiously avoid something that they really want but know they can't have... Maybe it's the same with your nips: he knows he can't have them at the mo cos perhaps it hurts too much, but he can't bear to look at them cos if he did, he'd be reminded how much he wants to feed...?

The other explanation (as with the nursery thing, punishing me for leaving them there) could be that he's 'punishing' the boobs for hurting him by refusing to acknowledge them?

Monkeybird's School of Random Psych Theorizing is now officially open...

DrBunsentheHarpsichordCarrier · 30/11/2007 19:24

hello! yes it sounds like a nursing strike, it is a very common reaction to precisely the situation you describe
there is no need to stop bf if you don't want to.
lots of people on here have experienced this, I will email them and also see if I can find a useful old thread.

beautifuldays · 30/11/2007 19:26

exactly the same thing happened to me about 2 weeks ago, dd bit me, i took her off and said "no" and she screamed and then went on a 24 hour nursing strike. i just kept offering her milk every 3-4 hours and eventually she decided she would start feeding again - (first feed she had after the strike was in the middle of the night tho)
think it's quite common and hopefully dc will forget about it soon and start feeding again.

DrBunsentheHarpsichordCarrier · 30/11/2007 19:28

www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html

try this kellymom page

Original poster

Ilovebuttons · 30/11/2007 20:14

thank you thank you
my mum and husband both think it's him weaning himself and I should just get over it - it's so nice to read your encouraging words
He did actually feed a bit in his sleep last night, I will try that again tonight and persevere

great link Dr!
the psych theorizing also makes good sense...

OP posts:

Jacanne · 30/11/2007 20:20

I had the same thing when dd1 bit me, but it only lasted for a couple of hours and then she was back on happily. From what I've read it is very unusual for a child under 18 months to self-wean. So it probably is a nursing strike. When my dd1 went on nursing strike I had the most success with dream feeds - when she work in the night and was really sleepy she would take milk then.

The Kellymom site has some really good advice on it - good luck

suzi2 · 30/11/2007 20:22

I would say sore mouth (teeth/thrush), miffed at being 'refused' by you, or you're pregnant (from experience!).

DrBunsentheHarpsichordCarrier · 30/11/2007 20:26

I would very much doubt he is weaning himself. this scenario (bite, raised voice, upset baby) is so hugely common, honestly

pastilla · 30/11/2007 20:34

sore mouth? my dd had mouth ulcers last week with some kind of virus, she acted the same poor love, recoiled at the sight of my boobs, was v upsetting . I expressed for 3 days, syringe fed her as she wouldn't take a bottle either, tried feeding her while she slept, squirted loads of bonjela in her mouth and then fed her asap, just kept kept on trying. once she was able to feed without it hurting she seemed a lot happier about the next feed but it took a few days

hunkermunker · 30/11/2007 21:22

DS2 did this - before he had any solid food - iirc he was coming up to 6m. He didn't have ANYTHING (no water, no milk, no nothing) for 24 hours (despite being offered all sorts!). Just when I started to get REALLY worried, he latched on again and went for it.

Think his was teething though - his mouth must've felt funny - getting teeth for the first time must be a very odd sensation, I think. DS1 was quite pissed off when he got his first tooth - kept probing it with his tongue and looking very unimpressed.

Have you tried sleepy bfeeding? Or having a bath with him and seeing if he latches on if you cradle him in warm water?

suiledonn · 30/11/2007 21:31

Hi, ilovebuttons, definitely try all the advice given here but just to let you know when my dd was 10 months old she suddenly refused to breastfeed. I continued to offer her the breast but she had made up her mind - she was finished breastfeeding and never took, or looked for another feed. For a long time afterwards I kept expecting her to try again but it was like she had forgotton she ever did it. She is a happy healthy 19 month old now and although I still feel a bit sad about the way it ended so quickly she has never looked back.

JacanneAbox · 03/12/2007 16:02

Hi Ilovebuttons - how's it going now?

Bramshott · 03/12/2007 16:08

Like Suiledon, my DD1 self-weaned at 9 1/2 months - I think life was too exciting to be suggled half way up my jumper! She just used to writhe around and refuse every time I tried to feed her. I had planned to feed for 12 months, but wasnt' too upset when she decided she'd had enough.

yogimum · 04/12/2007 12:58

my ds like a couple of others on here self-weaned at 11 months so maybe more common that one thinks.

nigglewiggle · 04/12/2007 14:00

I was happily "feeding" my daughter morning and night at 10 months. Then I was lucky enough to go on a weekend away with the girls. Left DH with ready-made formula (after much agonising). She flatly refused it. I followed the advice of my health visitor and took a breastpump away with me to avoid mastitis. To my surprise I was producing no milk!

I realised my daughter was just comforting and not feeding - I don't know how long for! I know this is not your situation, but I share this info to reassure you that if your son has self-weaned, then he mustn't need the milk anymore and will be fine without. I didn't pursue the formula and my daughter is now 22 months, above average height and avg weight.

I have tended to go with the thoery that if they need it and it's offered then they will take it.

Good luck

fairylights · 04/12/2007 14:02

my ds just started biting me relentlessly at 10mo so i tried to give him a bottle (which he had refused til that point) and he guzzled it down. He had been really constipated and that immediately stopped so i think prob he wasn't getting enough milk from me and it was his way of telling me so!
I would have liked to carry on but couldn't cope with the biting agony and afterwards was v relieved. Hope you can keep going if you want to tho x

krang · 04/12/2007 15:06

Don't know if this is any help but at nine months my son just decided he didn't want to BF any more. I'd put him to the breast and he'd just wriggle away and try to sit up. I also planned to go to a year but I figured he was just telling me he was bored of BF-ing and could he do something else now please! I did feel sad and rejected at first because I loved the closeness but after a few days of the bottle I realised that he was fine and happy, so I should be too. I know it's a funny time though -almost like their first step towards not being your baby. Anyway, whatever you decide to do, try not to feel sad about it.

nigglewiggle · 04/12/2007 15:19

I'm ashamed to say I didn't feel sad atall. Just really glad I could happily tuck into a large glass of wine!

janek · 04/12/2007 18:27

according to what i learned at la leche league meetings it is very unusual for a baby to self wean when less that a year old. i also learned from my own and others' experience that expressing milk is nowhere near as efficient a way of getting it as using a baby's mouth, so even if you express and there is not much there, it does NOT mean that your DS is not getting any. if you want to carry on feeding then i would persevere (don't if you don't want to, obviously), and don't let anyone tell you you're doing the wrong thing, because if you think it's right, then it is (particularly re breastfeeding!).

i hope the two of you sort it out soon.

jane x

MrsJohnCuSackFullOfPresents · 04/12/2007 18:54

I could have written your first post about DD, right down to the biting

I gave up trying to feed her after 2 weeks of fruitless attempts, but I wish I'd asked more on Mumsnet then and everything that's been said here. It's worth persevering. Am coming up to the same point with DS (he's 9 months) and am hoping to get through it this time (he's not quite such a determined character as DD and is much keener on feeding still so maybe it will be OK)

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