3 week old feeding style

[Sackofnickles]

My baby is 3 weeks tomorrow. I’m really struggling with physically having him on me.

He latches and unlatches constantly, he fusses, hits, kicks and head butts. When it comes to latching he attaches himself ferociously, shaking his head from side to side. It can get quite aggressive tbh.

When he does latch he latches well. No pain but often a bad position as he won’t stay still. He does stay still when actively feeding, but this is short lived and we’re back to attach and reattach fun.

I can't work out if he's actually drinking or just using me as comfort a lot of the time.

I love feeding him but I’m really starting to struggle. It feels like a constant battle. Is this normal?

Hi, my baby is 4 weeks tomorrow so I will throw my two pence worth in (but definitely no expert!). I found the first 2ish weeks quite tough and demanding with feeding. At 3 weeks we seemed to have turned a bit of a corner. I found my baby wanted to feed what felt like all the time in an evening but we did have a lot of fussiness like you describe - which could start as early as 4pm and continue until bedtime. I used to joke and say the baby was throwing punches at me and she would headbutt and generally seemed quite fussy. At the time I thought this was just normal evening fussiness and cluster feeding but then I started to learn more about how much a newborn should nap and ideally they shouldn't be awake more than 1-1.5hrs or they become overtired. This has been a bit of a lightbulb moment as I think in hindsight I was letting her become overtired and that's when we started to get this fussy/aggressiveness which I misread for her being hungry and wanting more food. So now I'm working on making sure she naps and it's made the world of difference. She still gets a little fussy in an evening but not like she used to.

I'll never know if the constant evening feeding and fussiness in the first 2-3 weeks was cluster feeding as I know it is important to establish your supply but I wish I could go back in time and try the little routine we have going now of feed, nappy change, some awake time and then making sure she naps (usually on me during the day after either being rocked to sleep or being put in sling/carrier as she does fight it for a few minutes before conking out). She is now sleeping like a dream at night too - going to bed around 11ish and usually waking once for a feed then sleeping until between 8-9am. I used to try and keep her awake in an evening believing she would sleep better but apparently this is counterproductive and the more sleep they have the better they sleep.

I know each baby is different so this might not work but it's what seems to have helped us and (dare I say it) these past few days have almost felt easy! Good luck, there have definitely been times when I've questioned why I'm breastfeeding because it felt tedious and demanding but for now it has become easier

Oh and one other thing which has helped massively is the dummy! I was reluctant to introduce as everything I'd read said not to but by day 8 (at 2am!) I caved as she was just sucking on me and not feeding but as soon as I tried to put her down she screamed and just wanted to suck again. Within a few seconds of the dummy being popped in her mouth she went down to sleep. The dummy has been a total game changer for us - she has a strong sucking reflex and it really helps settle her. I'd never give her the dummy whilst she's actively feeding but when shes dozed off and is just suckling and not swallowing the dummy really helps. Not had any issues at all with nipple confusion either which I know some people worry about.

@Fizzl Thanks for replying - I really think it could be due to over tiredness too. He's been asleep all day today and only had really short feeds.

What do you do to help her get to sleep?

I've just started using a dummy which I agree, is a massive help!

Have you tried swaddling him for feeds? I found this helped with my first baby who was very wriggly and his arms used to get in the way.

Otherwise I had a gliding chair, and I found if I rocked (quite aggressively!!) on the chair it would calm him enough to latch properly and stay still.

@Sackofnickles at the minute she sometimes falls asleep herself after a feed but if she doesn't I watch for the first sign of fussiness/tiredness (usually starts around sn hr after being awake) and I either pop her in the baby carrier and she will fall asleep quite quickly (plus I then have free hands!) or I rock and shush her and she soon falls asleep. Going for a walk with the pushchair or going for a drive also work a treat. She settles really quick if I hold her upright against my chest and rock/bounce and shush - she's harder to settle if I try and cradle her (but I guess this will depend on what baby prefers). I'm going to try and introduce one nap a day in her cot just to get her used to this/not always being held - I'm not expecting miracles or a routine at this age and know they need to be close to us when they're so tiny so I don't mind but just trying to establish some good habits 🤞

At night I normally bath her about half 9, get her ready for bed and put her in her grobag and sit feeding her in our bedroom with the lights on low. Once she's fallen asleep feeding I then rock her for a bit to make sure she's properly asleep and gradually put her into her cot then rock the cot until I feel sure she's asleep 😂 I also use white noise.

No idea if any of that is helpful as I feel like I'm massively winging it at the moment but it's working for us right now.

I remember those days! They’re so tough it is quite normal - your baby is still learning, and it takes them a while to get the hang of it.

We turned a corner at about 6 weeks, it got much easier from then on.

Those are all normal breastfeeding behaviours at this age - stimulation behaviours

Are you on Facebook ? Follow this lady she's amazing and it's so reassuring to read about what's normal with breastfeeding

She's LMJ infant feeding support on facebook

www.facebook.com/411977425899963/posts/1237091103388587/?d=n