Some of the snappy comebacks linked to from Kellymom...
Responses to "Are you still breastfeeding?"
"Of course! Nothing but the best for your grandson!" (or nephew or whatever)
"Yes, isn't it amazing? I am so glad he's not in a hurry to grow up"
"Yes, it's really been a life-saver, it is the only liquid he'll drink when he's not feeling well"
"Absolutely, isn't love a wonderful thing?"
"Right now? No, he's over there playing. I need him to do it"
"Yes, the doctor is so pleased So many mothers give up due to pressures of friends and family" (hint hint)
"Yes, and he's a real pro at it. I am so proud of him"
"Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy" (not really answering, but it gets the point across that you aren't planning on answering)
"I get that question all the time. It is so great that people are looking out for him!" (again, not answering)
"Yes, he deserves the very best. He's such a good baby."
(for someone who continuously asks) "It is funny how people ask that, but then they don't really want to know"
(for someone who continuously asks) "Of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him"
(and another for someone who is hounding you to no end) "do you really want to know this time? You didn't seem satisfied with my answer last time."
"Of course, I wouldn't dare ask someone else to do it for me!"
"What do you mean STILL? The bare minimum is two years!"
"Obviously. ..Are you STILL afraid of seeing a breast?" (a good one for someone looking at you nursing with a disgusted look on their face)
"Yep! The equipment is still in operation."
"Yep! He's still my child, isn't he?"
"Of course! He still needs his mummy!"
"Absolutely! It's a great way for both of us to take a break!"
Responses to "When are you planning on weaning?"
"I'm not. He'll wean me."
"Before he graduates"
"He hasn't told me yet."
"I haven't asked him yet. He doesn't really make plans for the future at this point. He just does things day to day"
"I don't know, I guess when my milk dries up" (confuse a person who has no clue about breastfeeding)
"I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together"
"I don't know, when the puppies weaned, they were taken away from their mother. It doesn't seem like such a great thing to me"
(sometimes they ask, "when will you start giving him cow's milk?") "Not sure, maybe if he starts thinking he is a calf"
"What, and get my PMT back? are you crazy?"
"I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn"
"It is so hard to plan anything with a baby. We're just doing things day to day."
"We're in no rush, he has time to make up his own mind"
"Thanks for asking. Everyone seems to need an answer for that except for me and my child."
(and another for someone who is hounding you to no end) "It depends, when are you planning on asking me again?"
Responses to "Isn't he a little old for that?"
(while nursing) "Apparently not, the equipment still works for him."
(surprised) "What?! He isn't even out of nappies!"
"I used to think like you, but then I nursed a baby for the first time and all the rules changed."
"His doctor didn't think so."
"Aren't you a little old to be wearing those jeans?"
"Nope, he's only three, that's not very old considering he'll live to be 100 or so."
"Obviously he isn't."
"If I thought that way, would I still do it?"
"No, I don't think he is, do you?" (if they say "yes" then answer, "well, then, you already had your answer didn't you")