Breastfeeding- tell me it gets easier!!

[Ginevere]

I am determined to ebf but having such a nightmare with it. First she couldn’t get any colostrum, so we had to hand express and give her formula from cups. When my milk did come in, she struggled to latch- I have big boobs and flattish nipples, and she has a high palette apparently, so it was like a perfect storm. I’ve seen four different breastfeeding consultants and finally thought we were getting into a decent rhythm, but the last few days have really been rough. I’ve still managed to breastfeed but it’s taken at least ten minutes to latch- today the quickest latch was 40 minutes, the slowest an hour and a half. It’s so draining slaving away for that long, and I just don’t feel like there’s an end in sight. All the lactation consultants have told me I’m doing everything right, and just keep doing what I’m doing and she’ll get the hang of it, but that feels impossible right now. Did anyone else struggle to this extent before getting it right?

Why torture yourself, she can't be happy either. I'd just switch to bottle feeding, did in fact. Problem solved.

Yes, I had deep tissue thrush. Ow!

All I can say is keep going, have a small glass of wine with the evening feed to make you feel less of a milking machine.

When you get the hang of it life becomes much easier, no waking at night once they are big enough to lift their head to your boob, and so easy to just leave the house with only some wipes and a spare nappy

How old is the baby? And yes it can be VERY difficult. I found the first 4 weeks very difficult. It does get easier. It won't be like this forever. I breastfed for 17 months in the end. Tbh, I never really liked it but felt it was best for me and baby so stuck with it. It takes a lot of mental strength to persevere. There's a reason many don't.

It absolutely does get easier. Both times I found the first several weeks really, really hard.

My first would feed for hours at a time when newborn and I thought I would never leave my chair never mind my house.

It starts to get easier day by day and then it gets easy. And then its great because there is no faffing around making up and heating bottles and going out and about as pp says means you just need to take a nappy and wipes and go.

I promise you it gets easier. Just try and focus one day at a time, then one week and a time.

Keep going OP you’re doing great! Remember there’s lots of helplines aswell if you need to talk to someone. The NCT one and the national breastfeeding helpline.

My LO is nearly 5 weeks old now and at the start he really struggled to latch onto one of my boobs. It does get so much easier! They grow so fast which helps too. What helped us was using a different hold for different boobs. Now he’s a little pro

I have a friend who really struggled with the latch and had a lot of success with nipple shields, after a rocky start she still using them and exclusively breastfeeding her now 4 month olds x

First 6-8 weeks were really difficult, painful and frustrating. But we then got the hang of it and it was a breeze. Lansinoh, lady from La Leche and time helped us. Good luck with it

My DC didn't latch at all for 4 weeks, for no good reason at all. I had a punishing routine of pump, give small amount of EBM / formula, offer boob, rest for 30 mins, pump. It was hellish. After 4 weeks DC finally latched, and then we ended up with thrush, which is utterly excruciating.

I must have read somewhere that it got easier after 6 weeks so I promised myself I would go to the 6 week mark and if it was still awful I'd give up. Got to 6 weeks and something clicked, there was no pain, DC was gaining weight. We were EBF by 8 weeks and carried on breastfeeding until 18 months.

Knowing I had a date by which I would give up bf without feeling guilty really helped me, and I found it so much easier to push through bad days when I was "counting down" to stopping.

No one ever tells you how bloody hard it is. It sounds like you're doing a brilliant job persevering, but definitely don't be afraid to say it's time to stop if you're struggling.

Thanks so much all, this is really encouraging as she was only 2 weeks yesterday. Sounds like time really does help! She’s only latching on the right also, so I’m pumping on the left and hoping she can get to both eventually. I’ll keep persisting then- and keep the 6 weeks goal in my head! I’m so determined to do it, just being able to whip my boob out whenever sounds like the dream!

How old is your baby?

It took me a few weeks to get the latch consistently right - sometimes it would take several attempts and a long time. If I remember right, once he was around 6-8 weeks it all clicked and was really straightforward from then on.

@Ginevere 2 weeks is when they ramp up feeding like crazy. I think we're at the other side now with my 8 week old. Breastfeeding is tough and she is my third which was why I kept going as I knew from experience that it will get better.
Has your baby been checked for tongue tie as mine had tongue tie which affected latching. Tongue tie got snipped at 3 weeks and it took a few weeks and being a bit older now her latch is so much better.
Is baby having wet and dirty nappies and putting on weight? That is very important to take into consideration.

Yes it can be hell to begin with. Truly the hardest thing I've ever done.

But also it got easy. Really easy. Eventually.

If you're keen to EBF then it absolutely is possible for you. It won't always be as shit and hard. X

It got easier for me when my babies grew a bit around the 8-12 week mark. They weren’t small babies either.
Feeding a new born is really hard. I’d only had 10 weeks off bf between my two children and I found it tricky when I started again

BF for the first 2-3 weeks was hard for me. I had to work at it because of flat nipples and my baby was delivered a bit early, CS etc etc. I got so blistered. But it has gotten easier and I’m glad I persevered as I now know it was the best thing for my daughter and it’s convenient for me really.

Also I got carpal tunnel in pregnancy and it took a few weeks to go away. That affected my ability to get a good latch too!

Have you tried using those nipple corrector suction cup things? I got a pair from Amazon and I’d use them just for a couple of minutes to shape the nipple before trying to get her latched on and it really helped. The health visitor says they don’t recommend for or against them because there isn’t official evidence on whether they help or not. I didn’t need to use them for long, they just seemed to help the baby learn to latch on.

God it can be so hard to get BF established - your baby is so little still and sounds like you're doing amazingly well!!! If it ends up not serving you or your baby well though try to not attach any guilt to feeding formula - it's not poison! Happy fed baby is a the goal, and a happy mummy!

Yes it definitely gets easier. One of mine was a one sided feeder, the rugby hold worked well for encouraging the other side (him tucked under my arm rather than in front).

Good luck, but also don't fret, if it doesn't work well for you bottle fed is absolutely ok. Mine were really difficult with formula until we found aptimil, and they liked it a little hotter than I imagined.

Honestly it gets so much easier around 6-8 weeks but you need to be super pigheaded to get through the early days. Definitely have a glass of wine un the evening and if you do decide to switch to bottle make sure you read Amy Brown's Breastfeeding Grief and Trauma as it'll help. Good luck. This is the worst bit but you've got this x

First 6 weeks is awful. It was both times for me despite being 'a pro' the second time. You just have to persevere and take one feed at a time. Suddenly it gets better, you are more practiced, like any skill, they are bigger, can start holding themselves more easily, it's becomes less of a propping and juggling act. Stick with it and in the mean time stick on some box sets, put a stack of biscuits next to you and settle in.

I had a similar problem at the very beginning in that she wouldn’t latch and I hand expressed and the midwife then syringed it into her mouth. That was just the first night though.
Then I found the first couple of weeks difficult. She would bob up and down sort of head butting my breast trying to latch, it was a nightmare.
But once she got the hang of it, I was lucky in that it then became incredibly easy.

Yes I have large breasts and found when they were so full my son struggled to latch on.

So a consultant told me about the reverse pressure technique. Please google but it is very easy to do. Do this for a few mins and your breasts will be much softer.

Also as baby gets bigger, it's easier for latch as their mouth is bigger!
I hated this time. I had to express colostrum onto a teaspoon and ds licked it up like a cat!
Using a pump to express might be a good in-between for now too but persevere with latching. You'll get there!

Oh OP, I could have written your post 5 months ago. I had the same problems - flat nipples and my baby couldn’t latch. Had to hand express and then pump 12x a day to get my supply established and feed her formula top ups until we could see a breastfeeding specialist. I was given nipple shields which we then used for the first 12 weeks exclusively (I found the MAM ones to be best for us so try a few different types) then as her mouth got bigger and stronger I was able to finally latch her directly at the breast with a bit of breast shaping (look up the ‘burger technique’!) It’s been a rocky road and I think I posted an almost identical message to this at about 4 weeks... people told me it would improve from 6 weeks... my experience was more like 8-10 weeks and it’s got easier every week from there. I’ve had a lot of 121 appointments with my local infant feeding team to get here so seek out absolutely any support you can find and demand it! I really hope my case gives you a bit of hope and motivation but at the same time don’t feel guilty if you decide this isn’t the right path for you as I know how exhausting and dispiriting it can be. Sending heaps of love and luck xx

The first few weeks are so, so hard but it gets much easier. I honestly can't imagine having to faff with bottles during the night or carry them round with me. I'm currently feeding a 4m baby and toddler and its SO easy now. Will all be worth it in the end, but also if you did end up giving up then that's fine too and baby will be fine either way.