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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

How can this advice be true?

36 replies

cardigan · 06/11/2004 23:01

Just chatting to my friend this evening & she told me that she went to a breastfeeding talk last week. She asked the teacher about bf in public to get some ready ideas on places to feed & was told a good place to bf was always to be found in the ladies changing rooms with the curtain closed. Her idea before this was to feed when she had a coffee or lunch or even at the playpark. I've bf everywhere & told my friend that it is ok to bf when out of the house but now she is confused. She doesn't want to have to shut herself away in a small changing room with her baby but this is what she was told. I thought it was ok to bf in public now - & have bf without any probs. What is the current advice on this?

OP posts:

marthamoo · 06/11/2004 23:03

You can breast-feed wherever you like! I think the breast-feeding group probably suggested feeding in a changing room for people who don't feel comfortable doing it in public. I breast-fed anywhere and everwhere

merlot · 06/11/2004 23:04

I'm with you cardigan. If you want to breastfeed you should be able to do it anywhere; providing you are discreet, why should there by a problem? I think maybe the teacher was coming from the other angle of apprehensive breastfeeding mothers who are nervous about latching and feel self conscious. Perhaps the suggestion of the changing room was somewhere comfortable and discreet for the nursing mother, rather than out of sight out of mind for the passing public.

pixiefish · 06/11/2004 23:05

Whoever said this is talking through their ar@e. feed your baby wherever you want to. I've fed my dd wherever I've eaten and have certainly never hidden away

cellulitequeen · 06/11/2004 23:09

Me too, fed everywhere once I felt confident enough, mostly down to DH's support granted.

MarsLady · 06/11/2004 23:11

feed where you like darling. I've fed on buses, trains and in parks, restaurants and even on the front row at Church. As long as you are discreet and happy then so what to everyone else!!

Original poster

cardigan · 06/11/2004 23:11

This comment has really dented her confidence (her baby is due in december). I tried to reassure her but as she's got this advice from a well known organisation it sort of goes above what I say - but it is up to her. I just feel bad that she was ok about trying bf, a wait & see how it goes attitude, but now feels awkward.

OP posts:

spod · 06/11/2004 23:12

feed whereever you like, and why be discrete? plenty of people dont like to see women feeding ib public, buut that is because they are backward and narrow minded... i always think its lovely to see breastfeeding in public... i did it (am still bf'ing) when dd was younger, and will do it again with next babe.

MarsLady · 06/11/2004 23:14

I think that you should encourage your friend to discover mumsnet. By the time we've finished with her she'll bf until the wee one is 92 lol

Original poster

cardigan · 06/11/2004 23:14

Wish my friend had a computer to get all these reassuring comments - I will pass them on to her. Thanks - I felt bf in public was ok - but I've never really discussed it sort of just got on with it.

OP posts:

merlot · 06/11/2004 23:19

All power to you Spod. I made the comment about discreet, not because I think you ought to be. More a case of, if you are discreet then I think you dont give the twits that find bf offensive any cause to complain; if they do they just look bl**dy stupid.

Original poster

cardigan · 06/11/2004 23:19

Plus can you imagine asking on a saturday if you can bf in the changing rooms - often you have to wait to try something on let alone wait with a hungry baby or one wanting a comfort feed.

OP posts:

HelloMama · 06/11/2004 23:19

Like everyone else has said - it is fine to breast feed wherever you feel comfortable. I have fed my son in all sorts of weird and wonderful locations and never had anyone comment on it, or even stare (as far as I'm aware!). I hope everything goes well for your friend and tell her not to worry!

spod · 06/11/2004 23:23

sorry merlot, it wasnt a dig i just feel very strongly about this subject!! if people stared at me when i bf in public i simply asked if they wanted some.... they normally stopped staring....

Original poster

cardigan · 06/11/2004 23:26

I remember you writing that spod - now I know what to say if someone critises when I bf in public! This should be in bf talks - I'm sure would help many mums.

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 06/11/2004 23:32

Please tell your friend that once you've got a hungry baby, you don't worry about feeding in public - you just want to feed them! I was worried about doing it, but my first public feeding place was a crowded Starbucks. I feed anywhere DS is hungry - when I was feeding on a bench in Kew Gardens in the summer, a handful of older people walked past staring - I wondered if I'd left my pyjamas on or perhaps had a crow stuck to my head because I couldn't work out why they were looking at me!

I would also say that I've not had any negative comments or other attention - it's all about confidence, but that comes with practice. Congrats to your friend and I hope she is reassured by the lovely MNetters on this thread!

spod · 06/11/2004 23:33

one thing i wish i had the courage to do when peole stared was to take dd off boob, let milk spray everywhere and then say 'woooooops' and just carry on.....

spod · 06/11/2004 23:35

please also tell your friend NEVER to feel pressurised into feeding in a public toilet.... its not nice and theres no need.

Original poster

cardigan · 06/11/2004 23:35

or squirt some in your tea!!

OP posts:

hatter · 06/11/2004 23:36

I do wonder if the question was misinterpreted - if she asked for advice on places to feed I can perhaps see why the woman may have assumed that she felt uncomfortable with the "anywhere" answer and assumed she meant where should I feed if I don't feel comfortable. I can't imagine any of the key pregnancy/baby organizations conscioulsy advising against feeding anywhere - all the ones I'm aware of would say it was fine. If you think she really rates the opinions of big organisations, above what you or any of us say I bet you'd find something on the NCT website that said feed wherever you feel comformatble. Maybe find something and show her?

spod · 06/11/2004 23:38

squirt in your tea!!!! like it!

Original poster

cardigan · 06/11/2004 23:39

She hasn't mentioned feeding in the loo but faced with a changing room assitant or just going to the ladies I know which I'd choose. I will pass on the comments just to show that bf is ok just where you are. I was looking forward to having lots of cups of tea with her when we were out shopping rather than being forced to wonder round clothes shops while she bf!! or worse still try lots of clothes on that don't fit & I can't afford.

OP posts:

PocketTasha · 06/11/2004 23:41

Ditto to everything everyone else has just said! I hope this woman that gave your friend this advice really was talking from a "if YOU don't feel comfortable" point of veiw. If not then she needs a new job! I think that if your friend doesn't have access to a pc/internet and therefor mumsnet, you shoule print this thread off for her. Let her read it for herself and see how loopy everyone has gone over the subject! I'm sure that will undo any damage this daft woman has done to her confidence.

Original poster

cardigan · 06/11/2004 23:41

Didn't think of nct site - will check it thanks for that - but she would have got some info (I think)from them.

OP posts:

spod · 06/11/2004 23:42

oh please dont let her feed in the loo!

spod · 06/11/2004 23:43

breastfeeding is lovely and shouldn't be done in a loo!

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