Should I add a bottle of formula or solids at 3.5 months?

[NewMummyJelly]

Hi there
My ds is 14 weeks and he is still very, very cranky. He is a happy baby for the first ten minutes he is awake and from then it’s crying, screaming, kicking.

I’m exclusively pumping because he didn’t drain the breast at the beginning and wasn’t gaining weight. I pump 1.6 litres per day and he drinks 1.1 litre of this, the rest is frozen.

It’s often a struggle to get him to drink his milk because he’s crying and screaming.

I think he’s permanently hungry despite taking all that milk My entire family think he should be getting more than breast milk because he’s a big boy.
Should I add a bottle of formula per day? Or try something solid like baby rice? I know that breast milk is recommended for the first six months but I honestly don’t think it’s fair for the poor little thing to be this unsettled for another three months, I can’t see any improvement over the last three months.

I’m desperate to cheer him up, we can’t do anything enjoyable such as baby groups, reading books or going out in public because he’s so unsettled.

Thank you

I gave mine hungry baby formula at that age and not long after started baby rice. I think lots on MN are very strict about the 6 months. So lots will say wait. However if he's a larger baby and he's hungry you do need to make sure he's full up otherwise he'll be permanently hangry and grizzling all the time (as would I if I wasn't getting enough food). It depends on the size of the baby too.

He's a big baby because of your breast milk! If you want to try formula, well there's no one stopping you, but if he's putting weight on and not taking all the milk you are producing, I can't see why you would need to add formula. Try offering breastmilk more often, before he's hungry.

Breastfed babies need to feed more often than formula fed babies, try looking at pictures of feeding cues to see if you're missing early signs that he's hungry.

Don’t give him solids, it’s really not a good plan. If you want to add formula go for it but he doesn’t need any more than breast milk and baby rice is crap.

Your family have a very old fashioned view which current research doesn’t support.

Could he be teething?

Are you certain it's hunger? If he's a big boy it sounds like he's getting enough food.

It sounds more like silent reflux tbh!!!

Also if you’re producing 1.6 litres (amazing effort btw) a day try giving him more breast milk.

Ah that sounds so tough for you! And how incredible that you’re pumping so much for him!

It is very early for solids so I wouldn’t go straight to that. My baby hated breastmilk from a bottle but he woofed down formula from a bottle. Could you try a mix?

Also there is a possibility of intolerances which might be making him unsettled.

I was thinking reflux!
Is he gaining weight along his curve? If he is, and he isn’t drinking all the milk you are producing, then he is very unlikely to be hungry.
Even though you are bf, he could have an intolerance to something in your diet, like milk/ lactose. I’d get some advice from people outside your family.

It doesn't sound like he is hungry if he's not drinking all the milk you produce each day. It sounds like reflux, you should take him to the Drs and then if they suggest weaning early or changing to formula then do it.

I wouldn't think it's hunger of he's putting on weight well not drinking all the milk you pump. My daughter was very unsettled, it turned out to be cows milk allergy. I stopped eating dairy (and soya as they are closely linked) and it took a few days but had a totally different baby. Have you spoken to your GP or Health visitor about it? What are his nappies like? Do they have any mucous? Are they green or is there a vinegar like smell?

It sounds like it could be reflux or a cows milk allergy, have you spoken with your health visitor? If he's gaining weight gradually along his curve he will be getting enough from you (excellent work btw, pumping so much must be hard work). How are his nappies?
Congratulations on your baby and well done for growing him so well so far!

Thank you for the responses, I didn’t expect so many.

He was 8lb 11oz at birth (81% percentile),
down to the 50% percentile at 3/4 weeks
and back up to 14lb 7oz at 12 weeks (73% percentile).

I brought him to hospital a couple of weeks back when he had a particularly bad week of uncontrollable crying, the baby doctor examined him physically and found nothing wrong. She acknowledged that it’s hard but said this is normal, especially for a boy and a firstborn child.

He produces lots of wet nappies but only about 1 dirty nappy per week. The HV said this is normal for a bf baby.

@converseandjeans thanks for the openness. I agree that baby rice doesn’t have a good rep but at the same time we are considering it for good reason.

@GogCymraeg thank you. Tomorrow I’ll try to feed him as soon as he’s awake to stop him reaching that grumpy mood. I never know how much to put in a bottle, I asked a health visitor what volumes he should be having and she said at least 500 ml... he has double this! I offer 120ml per feed.

@LittleBearPad thank you. He has been dribbling for about three weeks, are there other signs of teething? Would I start to see/feel teeth in his mouth if it is teething?

@Oblahdeeoblahdoe I am asking myself this every day. Maybe he’s too hot, bored, tired, in pain, has something wrong (such as a hernia)... whatever I do to cheer him up doesn’t work and the doctor ruled out anything physical. I’ve tried colic drops, massages, different teets, baths, music, play gym, bouncer, lying flat on back and his side. Things that help for a while are going for a drive or putting him on my shoulder and walking around. I thought that expressing milk would make it easy to guzzle and then would keep him content for some time but if he does take a bottle, he will still feel stiff, wriggly and just unsettled and then full on crying again within 30 mins.

@RandomMess @WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself @Mads123 I don’t know anything about reflex so I will read up on this topic. Thank you. I feel silly going to the doctor and saying that baby won’t stop crying because I’m sure they’re thinking ‘welcome to life with a baby’, which is how I think HVs look at it. I do have a good GP though so I will make an appt about it.

@LittleBearPad ok I will try this tomorrow.

@EggbertHeartsTina how interesting that baby showed a preference... if it were me, I’d choose breast milk because formula has a tangy aftertaste! Ok thank you, I could try a mix.

@Doublechocolatetiffin hmm allergies are an interesting one. I have a very varied diet, with nothing off limits (except gross stuff like paté, tinned tuna, diet yogurts!) I’ve drank a pint of ss milk per day for the last 18 years and maybe even more during pregnancy. I’ll experiment with this and see. Could a doctor test baby for intolerances/ allergies? Thank you.

@MaidenoftheSpear and @Doublechocolatetiffin poos are mustard like, no lumps, about one per week, no mucus.

Thank you all

Make sure you read up on SILENT reflux, basically they scream a lot.

My large breast fed baby switched to bottles at 16 weeks and was straight onto 9oz ie a full bottle. She was 98th centile though.

If he's only having breast milk his nappies sound strange. Usually they are all dirty but with runny mustard seed like poo rather than solid anything?

I'd say reflux too.

Please don't consider solids this early. He's not ready.

I second looking into silent reflux. Mine was combi fed and behaved like yours too, I used infacol ease the reflux. A friend of mine had a baby with more severe reflux and got a prescription from their gp.

Also, I wanted to share my admiration for being able to pump 1.6 Litres of milk a day!

Seriously, if he's a "big boy", he's that way because he's eating plenty. There are way more calories in milk than baby rice, it's the perfect food for him and he's clearly thriving on it.

If he's crying as much as you say and is gaining weight and refusing milk after a certain amount, it's almost definitely not hunger. I'd be investigating allergies and reflux.

Solids this young have little benefit and some risk.

I'd also look into reflux. Or possibly a sensitivity to something you are eating that is coming through your milk. It's not uncommon.

Don't give him rice. His tummy isn't ready for it and it won't help, it will just give him tummy ache.

Please don’t think of weaning yet. Baby rice isn’t the best option for when you do, either

He doesn't need weaning as hunger isn't the issue...a stiff crying baby often means reflux....silent reflux sounds like what is going on here to me too. That's when the baby doesn't show the classic sign of reflux eg sick during feeds and gains weight but is obviously very uncomfortable and not settled even when having lots of milk.

Try a bottle of formula and see what happens.

He's not necessarily hungry, it sounds to me like reflux also.
Absolutely don't wean him this early - he's absolutely not ready.

Baby rice is a very bad idea - all rice contains arsenic (yes - trace amounts) so it isn’t something to introduce against all current paediatric guidelines.

When advised to “mix feed”, it is not breast milk and formula in the same bottle at the same time - it is swapping one of the breast milk bottles for a formula one or adding an extra bottle of formula.

My DC had reflux, and sounds very much like yours regarding the crying and general unhappiness. Mine ended up:
on medication for reflux which helped enormously,
:raising the head of the cot for sleeping as it helps keep the stomach acids down where they should be,
:allergic to dairy and soy (so I had to cut it out of my diet while breastfeeding)
:having 20mls of pear juice in 20mls of warm water (boiled water that had been cooled to correct temperature) because of baby having a slow gut (lots of foul smelling gas, very few dirty nappies, struggles to pass poos, gurgling tummy, generally constantly distressed and in pain).

I would definitely speak to someone about possible allergies, although my experience is that GPs/paediatricians have been pretty useless at helping diagnose. There are some excellent Facebook groups for support for babies with allergies CMPA breastfeeding support or the Dilan and me website which will help on what to cut out and importantly lots of good ideas for food that are ok.

Unfortunately it'd not straightforward to test for allergies. An IgE mediated allergy will give a fast reaction and you can test for those. However lots of babies have a non IgE allergy which gives a much slower reaction to food. I know with my girl that if I eat something she's allergic too it usually takes 3 days for her to be really uncomfortable. Interestingly she also pooed once a week, but since stopping dairy she goes every day.

How hard are you winding him?