How to wean 18 month old off BF

[turtledovelove]

I could do with some advice please on how best to stop breastfeeding my 18 month old.
She uses it for comfort nowadays which of course I'm not against and it is lovely but to a certain extent I think it's a habit and personally I feel it's time come to bring it to an end. That seems to be easier said than done!

She still wakes 2/3 times per night! She is still in our bedroom in a travel cot as we don't yet have the room for her to be in a separate bedroom. I've tried leaving her to cry it out but it's difficult when she's right there next to me. She does not give up easily either!

I work and she goes to a childminder 3 x times a week and my mum has her one day too. When I'm not around it's an 'out of sight out of mind' thing. When I'm with her she will clamber onto me at any given opportunity to have some milk.

She eats well and has a varied diet. She even drinks cows milk and enjoys it!

I would love to get some tips on how to go about bringing it to an end. Any fool proof approaches to try? Any advice would me most welcome. Thanks

I just went pretty much cold turkey. In the daytime offer a snack or cup of cows milk instead. At night I cuddled, comforted as much as needed, I just didn't give in to milk. I actually did nights over 3 nights, so first night no milk after 3am, next no milk after midnight etc. Just felt a bit less daunting for me! Alternatively book into a hotel for a few nights and your milk will dry up 😁

@rosesandsalvias

I just went pretty much cold turkey. In the daytime offer a snack or cup of cows milk instead. At night I cuddled, comforted as much as needed, I just didn't give in to milk. I actually did nights over 3 nights, so first night no milk after 3am, next no milk after midnight etc. Just felt a bit less daunting for me! Alternatively book into a hotel for a few nights and your milk will dry up 😁

This is hugely helpful and encouraging. Thank you!

Believe me the prospect of a night or two in a hotel is becoming more and more appealing! I've not had a full night sleep for 18 straight months now!! haha

I shall try your strategy over the next few days/nights and hope for the best. Wish me luck!

Good luck!!

The Jay Gordon method (google it) is helpful.

Although saying that it was too gentle and confused things so I did go cold turkey whilst bed sharing and giving LOTS of cuddles abs reassurance.

3 nights of little sleep but so worth it.

Cold turkey is the way to go. You just stop and that's it. No more no matter what. Give her some water at night instead. You'll have a rough couple of days but then it will all be over.

@Aquamarine1029

Cold turkey is the way to go. You just stop and that's it. No more no matter what. Give her some water at night instead. You'll have a rough couple of days but then it will all be over.

I took the advice from you all and went cold Turkey last night!! She made it known that she was not happy about this new arrangement (around midnight ish) and I cuddled & rocked her for a little bit. I then put her back in her cot and took a while to settle but eventually she did!!

And that's the last I heard from her until 5.45am!! I got up and made her a cup of milk. She protested a little bit and did her upmost to get some milk from me but she gave in and drank from her cup.

I consider this a small triumph and am by no means naive enough to think it's going to be plain sailing from here...but it's a start.

Next question....how do I deal with my full boobs and that feeling of engorgement?!?!

Congratulations! It surprised me how little time it took for my LO to forget breastfeeding considering he had seemingly been boob obsessed for so long!
I just expressed a little bit by hand in the shower each morning, just to relieve the full feeling. I also felt a bit low & teary for a week or so after as all the hormones settled.

@turtledovelove, how did last night and this morning go??

I have an 18 month old, I want to wean but he's obsessed, still has a few feeds in the day plus 2 or 3 at night. He also feeds to sleep often (please don't judge!) as it's a big comfort thing.

I have a bite on his 'favourite' side from when a delivery man startled him last week... It's never happened before and is so painful, it's really making me want to stop but it's a stressful time atm (my grandads funeral is Monday and my nan is in hospital now too) I'm not sure I can take cold turkey if it is going to be a hard few days/nights, keep think I'll wait a bit?? Sorry to hijack the thread!! Xx

Solidarity... DD is almost 18 months and it HURTS. Partly the occasional bite, but I've just developed a horrid deep ache shortly after she feeds. I suspect my supply is running out and her suck is too strong for my depleted boobs.

She normally feeds 3/4 times a day, but I'm just DONE so I'm determined that the one she has this morning is the last. She's been furious since mid morning.

I BF my youngest until she was 2. When she got to about 18 months, I just fed her in the morning and evening - during the day I did the ‘don’t offer, don’t refuse’ thing and she soon accepted that. She just used a cup in the day.
She even had a pet name for my boobs ( too embarrassing to say here).
When we came back from holiday I told her I had left ‘pet name’ at the hotel and whenever she asked ( bedtime/morning) I repeated that and to my amazement she readily accepted this and soon completely forgot all about BF.
Strange but true!

[quote Fivebyfive2]@turtledovelove, how did last night and this morning go??

I have an 18 month old, I want to wean but he's obsessed, still has a few feeds in the day plus 2 or 3 at night. He also feeds to sleep often (please don't judge!) as it's a big comfort thing.

I have a bite on his 'favourite' side from when a delivery man startled him last week... It's never happened before and is so painful, it's really making me want to stop but it's a stressful time atm (my grandads funeral is Monday and my nan is in hospital now too) I'm not sure I can take cold turkey if it is going to be a hard few days/nights, keep think I'll wait a bit?? Sorry to hijack the thread!! Xx[/quote]
Ouch! A bite to the nipple is so sore! Hijack away! 😀 I will be pleased to give my experience of it so far...

I have now done almost 48 hrs of cold Turkey and honestly it's been easier and a lot less stressful than I had anticipated.

Further down the thread I gave an update of my first night which we got through without too many meltdowns!

Yesterday was ok and to be honest she asked for it less and less as the day went on. If she did then I distracted her with other forms of drink/snack.

Last night she had milk in a cup before bed. She woke around 3am and I got her out and cuddled her for a short while and she had the rest of the milk that was in the cup. She then went back to sleep without much fuss.

I am amazed actually at how quickly she's adapted and already disassociating with breastfeeding. Considering she seemed addicted! But like you say it most definitely is a comfort thing - some babies have dummies, some have blankies....ours have our boobies!!

The engorgement is less fun and rather painful but I'm hoping in the coming days it'll settle and the milk supply will start to dwindle.

Watch this space....and good luck with what you decide to do. But please be assured that whenever you choose to bring it to an end you'll both be fine and get through it 😊

I read about this in another forum. The woman had taken up running and put plasters over her nipples to stop them rubbing, then later on as she was undressing for a shower, her daughter pointed to the plasters and said "milk gone", as she thought her nipples had disappeared.

Thanks all, great tips!

I think I'm gonna cut down a bit if possible, then go cold turkey when things have calmed down a bit. He messes about quite a bit, comes on and off alot etc. I've started covering up as soon as he comes off in the day and saying 'empty now, mam needs to re fuel' because he's a toy where you re fuel a car 😂⛽ He seems to be getting it, he doesn't moan now, just looks at me then goes off playing or whatever. So hopefully that will help a bit for now.

Might do the plaster thing when it's time 🤔