Please remind me why I'm "still" doing this - I could do with a pep talk...

[MaeWest]

DS is 15 months old and although I'm pleased we've got to this point with breastfeeding, every so often I have a wobble. He's not the best sleeper but last night was terrible and I feel hanging this morning. He was in bed with us and was headbutting me, grabbing, pinching, until I gave up and fed him. I felt so resentful and angry in the small hours, I was ashamed of myself.

Added to this, I don't know people in RL who are still bf at this age, and can't talk to my mum about it as she thinks I should have stopped by about 9 months (as she did).

Just feeling pretty and sorry for myself this morning.

I do have good times, and it is lovely, mostly I can be pretty cool about the whole thing and shrug off the fact that I haven't had a decent nights sleep in over a year, but sometimes it just gets to me.

DS also has a cold and think is teething again...

wow, I think you are doing amazingly well. I do wonder though, if you could offer water from a cup at night so that you could get some sleep back. At 15 months, he doesn't really need milk at night, and that might make you feel more positive about continuing to bf during the day.

Could it be that the cold and teething are unsettling him, regardless of how / whether he is feeding? DD1 is a rotten sleeper (still at 2.7!) and was BF til 18 months. She didn't sleep through the night consistently til 15 m and has lost the habit again over the last few weeks. I tihnk that this is just how she is rather than anything to do with feeding.

I would carry on feeding if it is working for you more than not, but it could be that the sleep thing is unrelated. I think some kids are born sleepers and others not. If you do decide to wean, you have still got a marvellous achievement and got lots of wonderful health benefits for both of you.

I would also have plenty of chocolate to get you through the day. Not sleeping is a complete bugger and I really feel for you. Take care.

I think you have a sleep/illness problem, breastfeedingis a side issue. Agree with chopster, If he seems grizzley, dose him up with Calpol at bedtime (only to the recommended maximum, of course), and see if that results in him sleeping better.

People with bottle-fed 15 month olds have plenty to moan about, too!

Thanks for replies, just went to have a shower as hate being sat around in PJs.

Chopster - we did have a bit of success a couple of months ago with nightweaning. DH offered water in a cup at his first waking (at about 10.30) and DS settled much better after that. He was in a pattern of going thro until 4am when I would feed him and he would go bakc to sleep for an hour or two. He even slept right through a few times. But now milk at night seems to have crept back in again.

My MIL keeps telling me (almost proudly ?!) that DH didn't sleep thro until he went to school as he was 'so intelligent'

I just found this old thread of mine and it made me realise how much things have changed in the last 6 months (I used to be MaeWest).

DS is now 21 months and still has one bf first thing. He's sleeping thro the night about 50% of the time, other nights he wakes he come in with us and is usually happy to settle for a cuddle after I sleepily tell him it's not milk time. And if I have to feed him the odd night at 2am I am nowhere near as stressed about it as when it was every night...

Last night was one of his sleeping thro nights and he came in with me this morning at 6am and fed on and off for 20 mins or so. He rolled off laughing and smacking his lips It was so lovely and I'm so glad I kept going.