Trying to breast feed 4 week old

[BelleEtoile]

I need some breastfeeding advice please.
DD2 was born at 39 weeks and weighed 6lbs. She is a tiny tot with a tiny mouth and tiny tongue. My milk came in this time (didn't with previous babys) so I'm trying to breastfeed. Her anterior tongue tie was released at 1 week and it did help. She is now 6lbs 4oz. HV is happy with her progress.
I have 2 questions...

1. She falls asleep within 2 - 3 minutes of latching on. I wake her and put her back on. This can go on for about an hour before both of us give up. I only manage one side. She then wakes up after 20 or 30 mins crying to be fed. My concern is that she is not getting a big enough feed to sustain her and not getting hind milk. I have a good supply and I am definitely not emptying my breasts. This is going on around the clock, neither of us has had much sleep.

She has plenty of nappies.

1. Her latch really improved after the tongue tie release but in the last few days she has reverted to a very shallow latch and if I do eventually get her latched deeply (after trying maybe 10 or 20 times trying rugby, cross body & koala positions and anything else I canfind on YouTube) she comes off quickly and relatches strongly to the top of my nipple. She has subsequently become very windy. We are both very tired and frustrated.

The above is unsustainable.
I have had huge support especially with the other children to focus on DS2 and breastfeeding but DH is leaving for work at the end of the week. I need to make breastfeeding work for us by then or else I'll have to use formula (no issue using formula, used for other children) so I can get into a better routine.
Will she stop falling asleep when she gets bigger?
How can I make breastfeeding work with a 4 year old and 2 year old?

Lactation consultants are rare and expensive in my area and none are doing home visits due to covid (its all video or phone consults). HV is3 nice but doesn't seem to have much BF advice especially as DS seems to be fine with regard to weight. There aren't any La Leche or other support groups meeting at the moment due to covid.

Any advice would be appreciated

If she is having wet nappies then she should be taking a good amount in? When I was learning to breastfeed my twins in NICU the advice was to wake them up by taking temperature/changing nappies etc so that they were very awake to feed - my little twin especially was very small and got tired easily. Also to blow gently on their face to wake them up whilst on the boob - I was told to try to get her to latch for 20 mins no longer and not force after that. I also had to use nipple shields as the babies were so small (haven't used them before) and that really helped the latch

What county are you in? County/nearest town? Might help if people know, as they could recommend services local to you. I know of a great charity free BF service in Oxfordshire, but they don’t see anyone from ither areas. Also try the Kellymom website. There is lots of useful info on there. If baby is doing plenty of wet and poopy nappies and gaining weight then they may just be a little and often feeder. In my experience BF babies do ‘snack’ more than formula fed babies and this,apparently, is normal. I know it’s a pain but have you tried expressing yet? Particularly if your supply is good and baby is only having one side, you could freeze it for future use and feed it from a bottle. Good luck!

I had a 6lb-er who kept sleeping on the breast, too.

The way we sorted it was to keep a cool damp flannel to hand, and keep wiping her neck or feet with it. That kept her awake enough to feed!

I can't help with the latch, but asking experts as PPs suggest sounds sensible.

Good luck!

I had a 6 lb baby too. I remember she went through this phase where it felt like she wanted to nurse every 20 minutes too. It drove me nuts, but it didn't last more than a couple of weeks. I remember being told it was a normal phase of their development, that their tummies are really little and if they're growing they're going to want to nurse a lot. But also, nursing isn't just about food, but also warmth, closeness and snuggling up to mum.

Thank you so much for the replies.

Yes lots of wet nappies (6-8 big ones). She seemed to have a sluggish bowel but we are back on track on that front (Queried with doctors and HV and they weren't concerned).

My haaka doesn't work for me this time around, I have a pump but haven't used it much, I've been concentrating on the breast.
Following from your advice I think I'll just try 20 mins on the breast then pump.

I try everything to keep her awake, stripping her off, nappy change, wet wipe, tickling foot, nose and ear, blowing air at her, winding, changing position....its like she completely zones out after a few sucks.
I'm not in the UK.

Do you think she will stop falling asleep as she gets older or reaches a certain weight? Or is she just going to continue to snack (main concern is that she doesn't seem to be getting a nice chunk of sleep anytime during the day and seems overtired)?

There are LLL meetings online every day - have you tried one of those? I had an even tinier one and the latch was tricky for a while until she grew, so hopefully it will improve.

I used nipple shields - the medela ones - to help get a better latch until my baby was big enough to latch properly by herself.

@SpringBluebellWoods

There are LLL meetings online every day - have you tried one of those? I had an even tinier one and the latch was tricky for a while until she grew, so hopefully it will improve.

No I haven't tried the online meetings. I will. That's great to hear it will get better.

@Bancha

I used nipple shields - the medela ones - to help get a better latch until my baby was big enough to latch properly by herself.

I actually had some medela shields, they were last spotted on my 4 year olds head....he thought they were mini sombreros I will probably find them next year in a box of lego or something

Yes, LLL is so helpful, and also Kellymom (kellymom.com ) They was a big help to me.

How’s it going this morning, OP?

With my tiny one, the flipple helped quite a lot, but the solution was mostly just waiting for her to grow a bigger mouth. Also accepting that she was just too small to do more than a couple of hours between feeds, max, for about the first six weeks (it got gradually longer once I discovered slings - she would sleep longer in the sling as she loved it, then wake up really hungry and have a good feed).

@roadwarrior

Yes, LLL is so helpful, and also Kellymom (kellymom.com ) They was a big help to me.

Thanks roadwarrior. I really miss the face to face support you could get from baby groups, LLL, lactation consultants and other moms....flipping Covid At least I'm not a FTM, my heart goes out to those who are really struggling.

@SpringBluebellWoods

How’s it going this morning, OP?

With my tiny one, the flipple helped quite a lot, but the solution was mostly just waiting for her to grow a bigger mouth. Also accepting that she was just too small to do more than a couple of hours between feeds, max, for about the first six weeks (it got gradually longer once I discovered slings - she would sleep longer in the sling as she loved it, then wake up really hungry and have a good feed).

Hi SpringBluebellWoods (love the name) I have come around to your way of thinking. Her little mouth and tongue are just tiny, but we will get there eventually. I'm going to enjoy her tinyness. She is my last baby and is currently currently curled up on my chest with her little legs tucked up under her