Breastfeeding 2 weeks in

[LauraP22]

Hi, I need some advice, I am almost 2 weeks into breastfeeding my little boy but I am just not coping any longer, I am finding it painful despite having loads of support from my local infant feeding team with latch and positioning, I am both physically and emotionally drained and it is really starting to affect me mentally. I tried yesterday to collect milk in a haakaa when feeding so I could start replacing feeds with expressed milk but I couldn’t get enough out, I’ve tried an electric pump also and still having trouble expressing. I’m now looking to just use formula but I have no idea how I go about this and how to prevent my breasts becoming engorged and uncomfortable as well, any ideas? Also, how can I deal with the guilt that comes with giving up :(

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was exactly the same with the son, it was agony and we just couldn't get the hang of it. I actally started using nipple shields when feeding him and it helped so much! I ended up feeding him for over a year which was crazy when I think how awful it was to start with. But it had to be what you want to do, if you're happy then the baby is happy and that's all that matters. Maybe start replacing a feed with formula and see how you get on? Good luck xx

Bless you the first weeks are tough. If it’s still painful there’s something wrong, could you afford proper specialist help from a lactation consultant (IBCLC)?

He has been feeding comfortable from my left side but my right side is still really sore from earlier latching issues and is cracked which is making it extremely painful. I’m struggling with not just the pain but he wants to be on me constantly and never settles after feeds either so I don’t get any time to catch up on sleep or do anything really, I just feel constantly exhausted trying to keep up with him and I would rather be trying to enjoy my time with him instead of feeling like this if that makes sense.

I had the same difficulty, apparently it’s quite common to have more trouble with one side than the other. Silver nipple cups could help your sore nipple repair quicker, as well as lots of Lansinoh.

But being unsettled is normal, at 2 weeks they’re still cluster feeding and building your supply. It can feel relentless but it is normal. Would you consider safe bedsharing and feeding lying down? It was a god send for me, I was able to basically feed him in my sleep and it made everything so much easier.

Yes to nipple shields! My DD is just 9 days old and I'm using them. I also used them for 13 months to feed my first DD. We also combi fed from about 2 months which gave me a break from the last feed at night so I could get some sleep. Lots of advice against nipple shields suggesting they can affect your supply but I'm lucky that's not been my experience. I honestly couldn't have carried on without them... I had my latch checked so many times, babies both had tongue tie which were snipped but I've come to the conclusion it's just my nipples being flat and then the damage could never heal in between feeds. Lots of people are able to use them as a temporary measure and you could just use on the nipple that's causing the most pain! It's worth giving them a try if you want to carry on BFing.
However, if you feel that BFIng just isn't for you then stop. Don't feel guilty, you've got to do what feels right for you and your baby. I really feel for you as it's just so bloody hard and the pain can be like nothing else! I would honestly go through labour again than the first week of feeding.

I really wish that someone would tell you how painful those early weeks are! I found the letdown sensation incredibly uncomfortable, not to mention your nipples being chewed on

It sounds like you’re doing everything right OP, but if you’re really struggling then don’t feel guilty by supplementing with formula to give yourself a break

Is the baby’s dad involved?

I have tried nipple shields, they gave them to me at hospital to take home and try as he was born with a severe tongue tie. We did get his tongue tie snipped when he was 3 days old, the shields I just found didn’t work, he wouldn’t latch on with a shield and I also ended up bleeding as well when I used them so found it more comfortable without. I’m finding it hard as he literally wants to nurse every hour and he does not settle at all between feeds so I don’t get much of a break. My husband has been great in terms of looking after me and taking him when he can so I can sleep, it’s just not usually long before he wants another feed and I’m just not coping at all with it. We have bought some ready made formula today to try tonight and I’ve managed to express a small bottle to see how that goes.

Your story sounds so much like my son, I had to carry him all day, it was hell. I was exhausted and stressed. With my daughter I was determined to do it differently and followed the baby whisperer book. Basically followed the routine of E.A.S.Y eat, activity, sleep, you time. So I'd feed her, change her let her play for a bit until you notice the signs of tiredness then swaddled her and put her down. It saved my life and she was such a great sleeper and I loved knowing when I'd get my break! It might be worth a try? XXX

Just ease it down gradually by doing mixed feeding for a few weeks, increasing the ratio of formula to breast feeding as you go.
I've looked into the evidence of formula vs breast milk and in developed countries there really is no difference. Your baby will be absolutely fine with formula. But if your mental health is damaged by trying to force yourself to bf when it's not right for you, that is much more damaging for your baby. Let the guilt go. You're making the right choice.

This is the hardest point with breastfeeding. How's the baby's weight gain?
I really wanted to stop in the early days too but it got easier by 6 weeks and then by 12 weeks far easier again.
Personally I'm glad I stuck with it but there's nothing wrong with formula if you feel like you can't carry on.
Be kind to yourself, you're doing really well.

Ugh I remember 2 weeks in, the worst. At 3 weeks in I added a bottle of formula as his last feed. Then at 2 months old I added another bottle of formula at lunch. Now he’s 3 months old and on 3 FF a day and 3-4 BFs. I’m definitely stopping BF completely by 6m if not before as I’m still not exactly enjoying it. If you’re passionate about giving him some breast milk I’d highly rate mixed feeding. If you’re only doing it for the guilt factor then my god stop.
In hindsight I should of stopped at the start, it would have saved me weeks of crying and feeling like shit. But my own stubbornness meant I stupidly accepted feeling like total crap for weeks and now I’m mix feeding more it’s tolerable so I’m taking it day by day.
I was trying to express daily too up until a week ago but I lost the will to live with that and since stopping my boobs are now no longer engorged, I think pumping was confusing them!
You do what YOU want to do. Happy mum is important too ☺️

You’ve done so well to get to this point OP. Unfortunately, with a tongue tie it takes 2-4 weeks for baby to relearn how to use the muscles that control the tongue after the snip. If you can keep going it will probably become a lot less painful and baby will be better at transferring milk so it should give you a longer interval between feeds.

www.nessaorganics.com/products/best-nipple-balm-for-breastfeeding-lanolin-free?currency=GBP&variant=13047007707254&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&gclid=CjwKCAjwhYOFBhBkEiwASF3KGRDRYcolztmlLHvem5aj7OQEFLZDBOYZQBnH-uloycpAdz0pxmQKuxoCdfIQAvD_BwE
Super expensive but saved my nipples!
It does get easier OP, it’s a slog in the beginning but IF you want to keep going trust it won’t always be like this. However choosing to switch to formula too is absolutely fine.
I will say for anyone who is struggling with breastfeeding or hating the process, expressing isn’t the easier route. I’m breastfeeding my second at the moment, breastfed my first and there is nothing more difficult imo than expressing, takes ages, very inefficient and painful - well done if you can do it but it’s by no means the easy option.

@LauraP22 guilt is pointless. If you can do a better job bottle feeding your baby so they're full, well fed and have a relaxed fun mum, or baby sees you stressing and crying and failing at breast feeding , then stopping that isn't failing, it's knowing what your baby needs and how you can be a better mummy

We have decided to formula feed going forward now, it’s been a tough few days but I had to admit to myself that it was just getting me down too much, I felt like I didn’t get to spend much fun time with him as he was constantly feeding, now we have switched to formula I have made time for play and cuddles and am feeling a lot happier for it so definitely think we made the right choice. I am still expressing milk for comfort until my supply decreases so for now he is getting some breast milk also, usually last bottle of the day before bed. Thanks everyone for your comments, it’s been helpful! X

@LauraP22 excellent decision for you! If your happier and works better that's all that matters. Your baby will be happy with a happy mum and that's perfect. If this works for you then you are doing the best!