Arrived a little late due to the bus, wonder what kind of reception I would get after being threatened to be banned this week and I was ?under orders? not to speak or ask questions roll eyes
Surprisingly, she was pleasant to me and got me a chair and at some point asked how my nursing was going, first time she has asked despite me attending every week. Her boss must have had a word with her. She was issuing her standard instructions, but was tacking on the end of the ?You must wean? type statements by weakly saying in an unconvincing way ?of course that is just my opinion, you don?t HAVE to do it?
Again she mentioned that she had free baby rice samples for any mum who wanted it, slightly better than putting it into a mums hands I thought (not much better but still)
New shell shocked new mum asked advice as tiny baby was only sleeping for 6.5 hours at night and was that enough sleep. Advice was about starting routines and letting the baby whinge/cry (in their own room in the dark) mother looked even more upset.
She also had too much milk what could the HCA advise. Of course this floored her, as she had already given the 'sleep in own room advice' and offering her ?must wean? advice for a tiny newborn would have been beyond stupid even for her.
One of the other mums said with a smile ?was she allowed to speak ?? (referring of course to the HCA shouting at me at the last meeting for speaking) and when given permission, she gave a couple of sensible suggestions and I added a few things too.
I managed to chat to the new mum a bit later on and it turned out that all she wanted was support that by cosleeping, breastfeeding on demand and generally carrying baby around all the time that she wasn?t spoiling her child and that the baby wouldn?t get more sleep if she did it a different way. She was worried about what the HCA had said and asked 'couldn?t she continue to still co-sleep, breastfed on demand'.
Of course I said?she is your child, you must do what feels right for you. I invited her to the next NCT coffee morning and gave her my contact details.
QUESTION I though 6.5 hours of sleep per night was really good for a few week old baby, is that right ?
The HCA did take a few women aside for private talks including the new mum who she managed to upset. I?ll find out what she said next time we meet.
Ironically I bumped into one of the other ladies from the breastfeeding group, one of the mums cornered for a private talk. Turns out the HCA had told her to early wean and was offered a flipping ?free baby rice sample?
The mum said that she thought this lady was an idiot (hurrah) and she only attended the group for social reasons and that I was the only person to actually listen to her feeding problems when she first attended the group. I took her concerns seriously and although I didn?t know the solution to her problem, I suggested some ideas of things to look into/people to ring and that helped her blush
It makes listening to that HCA worthwhile if I managed to help that one mother?.not that I realised I had helped, I just listened for 5 minutes nothing more.
So in conclusion the HCA has decided to toe the line, if she thinks I am listening but continue to talk crap when I am not there to monitor her?is she a flipping child or what !!!
I have a copy of our local PCT Breastfeeding Policy (as suggested by TikTok, Thanks) and I am half way though writing a complaint to her boss. Trying to write down specific examples but it is hard to find a lot of spoken examples, as a lot of what she says sounds supportive ?Of course if you want to TRY to get to 6 months I will support you? It is the rolling eyes and sighs and the whole snidely attitude about how breastfeeding is difficult, painful, near impossible, tiring and keeps babies from sleeping at night. But I will finish and get this off some point this week.
Next week should be easier as my friend will be back attending and there is a third mum we hope to recruit. With three of us sitting spread out in the group we hope to hear and contradict this HCA idiotic information (preventing her private conversations) and pass out numbers for the proper breastfeeding counsellors (NCT, LLL etc)
I am also going to encourage these mothers to complain as well, so the HCA?s boss doesn?t think I am heading a personal vendetta against this HCA?which is certainly not the case I hate the misinformation and lack of support, not the actual woman.
But bumping into the other mother who thanked me (not that I did anything to deserve it) made my week.
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