Let's avoid the HV poll?! [grin]

[monkeybird]

Anyone else round here avoiding the health visitor? Do they actually improve anyone's health? I stopped going to the clinic after the first one weaned since I hated the conflicting, rubbish advice (one told us to mix up our own food for a 4 month old, with added gravy to make it runny...).

I do appreciate that for some women it is reassuring to see them putting on weight every week, but surely we could get our own confidence in looking for a well baby rather than relying on so-called experts?

Obviously I don't advocate anything that would be damaging to babies and children but in all my time of being 'visited' with 3 babies, I can't say I've had anything useful from them.

Someone said in a recent post that you don't have to see them (I thought at least the first visit was a statutory requirement but maybe not).

Will my kids be put on the at risk register if I don't have them 'checked'?

haven't been to a clinic this time round but, I have to say, my HV has been fantastic following a stay in hospital with DS3 - really supportive and very helpful. When I made some lame excuse about not going to get him weighed she said "Oh, you've got too much on your plate to come to the clinic - anyone can see he's doing well"

We took DS to his 2 1/2 year check last week. She told us he was at the 9th percentile for height and 50th percentile for weight, and that he was therefore a bit chunky. Whe she measured hi height, he kept turning his head to look up up at the bar that was lowering on his head, and I just wasn't convinced she really got it right, but she thought she did so oh well...

Meanwhile I kept looking at DS thinking, that is NOT a fat child. Perfectly normal. A bit thin if anything.

So, yesterday I pulled out my ow measuring tape, got him to look stright ahead while I marked the wall, plotted it in his read book, and guess what... 45th percentile. Stupid woman. And There I was fretting about my growth stunted boy.

Anyway, I'm very happy with 45th percentile.

I did see my old HV when DS was 1, but then she did arrange to see him at 9am so that I didn't need to take too much time off work for something pointless (although she was very nice). Have since moved to new area, and when I registered at the GP I had to have a new pt appt (no problem, was able to do so at 5pm on a Friday), but they couldn't/wouldn't do DS (17 months)'we don't have access to the scales - you need to take him to the HV clinic'. Which is on a Tues from 2 -4 - not terribly convenient, and I said so. Nurse got a bit twitchy and said the HV would be in touch.. Have heard nothing more in the last 6 weeks, and hope it stays that way !

GloriaInEleusis, that reminded me of one trip to the clinic with DS1 when they did his head measurements... Now bear in mind all my babies are on the 95-99th centile at birth and then drop off a bit, and all have heads at top of scale also (eg have to buy 4-7 year old hats for 18 month olds etc) due to their dad looking somewhat like Fozzie Bear with giant head ( hope he's not lurking!)

So we go for the measurement and the HV wraps tape measure round head, looks alarmed, fetches another HV, they stand around and tut and mutter. Oh, they say, his head is off the scale, we'd better get him checked out... Cue lots of anguish from me. They call in a GP who whips out her own tape measure and lays it on the bench alongside HV's tape measure.

A ha! Lights go on all round: tape measure is very old and stretched through years of misuse...

This of course is the problem with the clinic: when we measure all the time, we have to be sure our instruments are accurate!

my first health visitor was brilliant, she visited me weekly and the support she gave was invaluable. I moved house just b4 ds2 born. The new health visitor seemed nice but hardly got time to speak to her she always so busy, a quick in and out at clinic. My old hv had written a letter to her explaining my situation, just spilt from violent husband and now on my own with newborn and 1 yr old and I had been suffering from depression. It didnt matter as I had good family and friends support, but its sad that if I didnt have that support like some dont who fall through the crack and dont get any help

I must also take some of my comments about not having any help from HVs back - I'd forgotten that one of the very useful things that they did was that when DS2 had terrible nappy rash after leaving hospital (had C-section couldn't move in hospital, overstretched, understaffed MWs too busy to come when called to change him etc etc; then followed by acidic non-stop pooing at home) one HV - not my own though - recommended something that helped it heal called Cavilon. This was a nail-varnish like spray that I think is used on bedsores (DS2 had open sores it was so bad). Every thing else had failed (Sudacrem, Bepanthen, Metanium, thrush treatment, steroids... ) so she was actually a lifesaver.

Love this thread. My HV is OK but bemused with my current feed-to-sleep, co-sleeping, sling-bound baby. In some ways I am having difficulties, but her advice hasn't really helped and I'm not comfortable with some suggestions. Was bemoaning this to my mum who pointed out I don't actually have to follow them. It was mum who has suggested co-sleeping, not to worry, things will evolve etc, think I shall rely on her for future advice!

Nobody ever actually tells you this stuff is optional though, do they?! I remember in hospital asking if I was allowed to hold DS!

I stopped going pretty early on. The only thing I ever went for was to get my son weighed. The advice was nothing I couldn't get from my mum, feiebnds or baby books (not even as good as that, to be honest) and that was when they had more than 2 minutes to talk to me, which was, urrr, let me see? Never!

that weird word beginning with 'f' is meant to be friends

doh!

I like my HV but disagree with her advice. There is a mum and baby group attached to the baby clinic, which is great for meeting other mums, and i've made a really good friend this way but every discussion we have ends up in the HV, the nursery nurse and most of the mums saying 'put him on the bottle' or 'let him cry it out as he will give up and lose hope in the end'!!!!!! NO NO NO!!! Im carrying on going just in case any new mums with similar views to my friend and i need support, and i can point them in the direction of la leche league!

Mine was useful in backing me up in my belief that newborn DS was genuinely quite ill and getting the GPs to take me seriously (it turned out to be whooping cough). Other than that I didn't find any of it necessary and probably won't bother to go with DC2 apart from 8 week check and 8 month check (if they even still do those -- they seem to be dropping the standard checks around here).

Have only read the OP but mine was very useful. I was at risk of PND and I think she was keeping an eye on me (which got a bit tedious in my case but at least she was doing that. I can't really complain) Also DS had lots of minor health issues, and several hospital referrals which she did for us. She also got me a very good counsellor when I needed one.

Part of me thinks that if you're confident that there's no problems, you should be able to refuse a HV. However, what about those that think they're confident but aren't...

HVs, I've shat 'em. Never met one who could negotiate her way out of a toilet. Useless.

Have to agree, ours are pretty bad too. I always feel like they're trying to catch me out. They also tried to get me to FF my DD because she wasn't where they'd like her to be on their charts - charts which are based on FF babies and not BF . DD has caught up now but I won't be going back.

My health visitor is lovely! She helped me when I was having breastfeeding nightmares, sleeping nightmares and weaning nightmares with lots of useful advice and reassurance and praise.