How may bf's for a 9.5 month old?

[Doormouse]

This is my first post on Mumsnet so apologies if this has been done before! Took my 9.5 month old DS for his 8 month check, and the HV asked how often he feeds now. I just replied "on demand still, 5 times a day maybe, and 3 times or so at night". I got the usual lecture about him not needing feeds at night (yeah yeah) and she also suggested that I shouldn't feed him on demand in the day and should "taper off the breastfeeding"??
We've been doing BLW since he was 6 months, and his solids intake varies according to how he feels (teething etc.). He's very active and isn't the biggest baby around, but everyone says how happy and contented he is. I struggled to establish BF and really enjoy it now - but I want to get the balance right. Please reassure a first time mum!

Oh dear, doormouse.....this is really, really rubbish advice from your health visitor. Your baby is doing absolutely fine, and feeding normally, and healthily. She is confusing you with a formula feeder - 8 full bottles of formula in 24 hours might well be too much and may prevent a baby taking a wider range of nutrients in solids, but this is not applicable to a breastfed baby.

If you feel brave and confident, ask her for her reasons for giving you this advice, and maybe her references for suggesting you don't feed him at night....what is likely to happen if you don't follow her advice?

How sad she has undermined you, especially after you struggled at first.

Oooh thanks tiktok - I've found your advice invaluable in my early bf days (I lurked a lot on here! ). I was dying to ask her just that but I tend to feel very strongly about my parenting choices and deep down I think I knew I was right - so I just sat there . Strangely enough my mum said I should have stood up to her ("It's a good job I wasn't there" she says!) I love my feeding relationship with my child, and am soooo glad to hear that we're doing o.k. I wondered for a moment if not being able to quantify how much milk/solids my DS was taking was a problem for her (If he was FF and we wern't doing BLW I guess I could say 'he has x ounces of milk and x cubes of food?). I'm also not a frequent visitor to clinic, unless I have a problem which is rare with Mumsnet on call - so maybe that's an issue to them. Anyway thanks for your reply - we'll just keep going on as we are!

At around that age (very ish) DS dropped down from typically five feeds to typically four in the day -- plus often a couple at night. So five daytime feeds sounds perfectly normal to me. Plenty of breastfed babies will do substantially more than that, as well.

Feed as often as you like, and feed in the night if you like. Ignore HVs on breastfeeding - they know so little and say so much

Thanks lemonaid. So it could be a lot "worse" then . I did think that he'd just regulate his intake as and when he wanted - after all, that's what he's always done! Some days he's so busy with new things I almost have to remind him to feed in between meals otherwise he'll up the night feeds to compensate. Heaven only knows what the HV will say if I let him self wean and am still feeding him at his 2 year check......! I'll brush up on my references by then and WON'T just sit there...

I'm still bf (DS 2.9) pending self-weaning and the midwife was actually very upbeat about it at my booking-in appointment with this pregnancy. Haven't seen the HV since DS's 8-month check, though (and didn't get a 2-year check... I thought I'd heard something about their being abolished?).

If you're OK with his pattern and don't mind feeding him in the night then that's fine. The hv probably gets lots of mums complaining about lack of sleep etc. so she would give that kind of advice.
My ds is just 10 months, sometimes he gets 4 feeds a day, sometimes just 3, depends when he gets up. If he sleeps in then he just has breakfast rather than an early feed as well.

When my DS was that age, I fed him whenever he wanted, day or night. I think it sounds fine.

The HV had had a day of 2 year checks when we went down-she was thrown a bit by our tiny tot sat in the waiting room! Maybe they're phasing them out bit by bit?
lemonaid - My midwife (part of the community team as Ds was a homebirth) was fantastic for BF support after he was born (as were all her collegues). It's just the HV who seems funny about it.
Pistachio - thanks for the insight as to what to expect, all the other babies I know of are FF so their feeding pattern is very different.
Am trying to sign with DS (he's just started trying to sign back) and am hoping that'll make it easier for him to 'tell' me if he wanys milk or 'food'.

on demand until well established with solids - well past a year with my 2!

Bear in mind that this will be your DS's first winter and that frequent BFs will help with the winter bugs.

you know all my dc have been different and they are all really healthy etc. Please just ignore your HV my youngest was on 6 feeds a day and dropped one feed per month from being weaned at 6 months and then gave up altogether just past 11 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See it's nothing to be with being bf just what they are like - dc2 was a complete milkolic so completely different!

Good point about the bugs Highlander - its easy to forget that feeding's not just about providing food for growing. I'll remember that one if anyone asks me "are you still feeding DS yourself"..

Cargirl - I suppose there's a lot worse things for a baby than being addicted to milk! Equally your other DC obviously loved the 'grown up food'

im a breast feeding mum (or was till 5 months ago when fell prego again and stopped). i am also a breast friend (trained supporter for mums in the north east).
YOU CAN/SHOULD DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU AND BABY!!
my ds had feeds on demand and at night till 14 months, then just went down to 1 night feed before bed. then none. he stopped himself when he was ready (and when i needed him to since was pregnant) with out any fuss or tears.
there is no one way just as there is no one baby or mother. you know you and your baby better then any one can. dont second guess your ablilty! your doing great!!!

Apologies for hijack but have 9 mth old dd who has only 4 bf per day and none at night now. Obviously also on solids, 3 meals a day. Worried after reading this post that she's not getting enough bf. Does anyone have any advice?

littlecoxy that sounds like my ds, that's also totally normal. As they eat more food they don't need as many breastfeeds. It's great you're getting a full night's sleep too!

Aleciawalton - thanks for that bit of support, I'll do just that!
Littlecoxy - there's some nights that I'd give my right arm for a full nights sleep! I guess your LO is just enjoying her solids a bit more than my DS.....