Poor attitude to bf whilst I was in hospital..Is it worth complaining?

[homerton]

Went into hospital on thurs for a small op on ovaries under general anaesthetic. Called in for 9am op was not performed until 5 although they kept telling me it would be in the next half hour. I told them when I arrived that I was breastfeeding, dd 9 months so can go a good while without feed, I do not express. By 5pm I was stressing as I was worried about her. Had op, they didn't give me any anti sickness drugs as they said they would pass over in the milk. When I told the anaesthetist I bf "how extraordinary...do you think you'll continue when she starts school!" Laughing his head off in front of junior doctors. I felt quite humiliated and then the surgeon arrived, "ah here we have the lady who thinks she should be moved up the list because she still feeds her baby in the night". I did not ask to be moved up the list , I had commented that I had nothing to eat or drink since the night before and that as I was still feeding I would have appreciated a light breakfast and could have brought my dd in to feed had I known I was going to be last on the list. Anyway come round from ga, op took longer than we thought and I was very poorly so they said I had to stay in. I said was reluctant because of dd, she won't take a bottle at all, not really a great water drinker. Doctor says "surely baby doesn't need a feed now that they're 9 months" and "if you starve her out she'll have to take a bottle!" I asked if I could bring dd in to feed and was told it was out of the question, I was the only person on the post op ward being kept in but apparently it would be too disruptive. So I self discharged. The whole experience made me feel like a freak. Dh says I am too emotional and its not worth complaining about. What do you think?

That is shocking. Poor you.

How incredible that the aneasthetist made fun of you and laughed at you

Definitely complain.

I would actually make one hell of a fuss, they have treated you really badly.

get a sheet of paper, and write it down now, so you don't forget or tell yourself it wasn't that bad. Then start making phonecalls and finding out who needs to hear this.

Would suggest contacting La Leche League and the NCT for help with this - they are not a fan of breastfeeding mothers being made to feel like drug addicts.

When I read the OP I thought you meant in the labour ward but after reading your post I definitley would, not because of their attitude to bf particularly but to their attitude in general and for them not taking your concerns seriously, they are supposed to look after you holisitically ( the whole of you ) and to cater to your needs (bf) your story makes me think of prejudice, it's as though, they don't agree that you should still be feeding your baby at 9 months so they are making it difficult for you (by palming you off and saying it wouldn't be much longer) and as for not allowing your dd to be brought in to an otherwise empty ward is just pathetic. Would you like to name and shame the trust???!!!!

I am horrified - you must complain.
As a Ward Manager I know that NHS staff have a duty to support breastfeeding mothers.
Was this on the NHS? If it was you should contact the Cheif Exec's office, the complaints dept or the PALS office depending on how furious you are.
Did you have a pre-op assessment and did you tell them you were BFing?
You should have been offered a side room and a cot.
The overall attitude is terrible and if you do complain you may help prevent anyone else been treated so appallingly.

Sorry to hear you had such an awful experience.

The hospital should have a PALS service (patient advice and liason) they should be your first point of contact should you wish to go ahead and complain. These 'old boys' (doctors and I assume they are male ) sometimes need to be taken down a peg or two!!!

What apalling treatment. I think you should defo complain. If you look on their website you will probably find info about their complaints procedures.

Agree with Irish, it's not just about bf, it's about a total lack of respect for patients.

Hi unfitmother, I am a nurse too, though not a ward manager!!!! You and I are on the same page here, do you have an anger boiling in your belly about this too??!!

Absolutely complain. That is really shocking.

I had day surgery when dd was 7 or 8 months, to repair my tear. Was told that could not have general as breast feeding (which I've since found out wasn't completely true). So had it done under local, was horrible, and was made to feel rather as if I was bringing it on myself by insisting on breast feeding as being important to me. Wish I'd complained, but what happened to you is much worse.

I am sorry to read about your experience, it is shocking and very disappointing. I would certainly consider making a formal complaint as you should not have been treated in such a manner.

I am also shocked that your daughter was left alday without a feed and no provision as "I do not express".

Pooka - you can still complain, or at least ask for a full explanation - there's no time limit on complaints.

That is appalling. It makes me feel really angry just to read about it. I would kick up a real stink if I were you.

I am furious, I had a BFing mother on my ward last year and pulled out all the stops. When plans for a side room fell through at the last minute, for clinical reasons, I got the pt's partner a flat acros the corridor so he could sleep in and bring baby over when needed and this baby was 11mths old.
It makes me feel so angry that this is not replicated thoughout the NHS.

homerton - very, very for you. Please make an official complaint, and please contact a reputable newspaper journalist to write up your story in the press.

I know I should. But I suppose part of me feels that it was 4 years ago and should try not to dwell on it. Also, with the passage of time I just have a general feeling of discontent rather than specific things that happened that I could refer to, IYSWIM.

A general impression that I was an inconvenience for being awake - I am sure it would have been preferable to the rather cold consultant if I, like every single other woman that day, had been unconscious. God, it was 4 years ago, but boy has it put me off ridiculous things like going to the dentist! Have a crown needing to be done and I keep putting it off because have little trust in local anaesthetics (injected).

But homerton, I would definitely recommend that you do complain, because it is fresh in your mind and because what was said was tangibly disparaging of your choice to breast feed, your needs and those of your dd.

Pooka and Homerton - why don't you join forces and contact a sympathetic journalist (probably NCT or La Leche League could help you with this) and get your stories written up and published together?

absolutely, definitely, 100% you must complain. tossers!

that is really truly awful do complain

humiliating you while you are in a vulnerable positions is just horrendous

how terrible
i had op last week and am still bfing, although dd2 is only 7 weeks, i had been pumpin g and dumping for last 2 weeks i was in, it did get a few comments. The team that did my op were wonderful. told me to pump before op, gave me drugs that were suitable for bf, gave me side room to recover in so i could feed if needed. This should be across all boards and am so angry for you.
what hospital was it? name and shame them!

pooka, if nothing else, the fact that the person who gave you incorrect info and made you to feel the way that he (I am assuming ) made you feel, will get a smack on the hand and will know that that behaviour is not acceptable. Most importantly, even though it was 4 years ago, it's still affecting (pedants, I am guessing that it is not effecting...!) you today.

homerton, what you experienced was totally and utterly unacceptable - as someone said, it's to do with a lack of respect for you and your choices, rather than breastfeeding. How horrible for you.

Write a calm letter, naming names and detailing everything you have said here. Be frank about the humiliation and embarassment you felt. Send it to PALS with a copy to the head of midwifery (not a midwifery issue, but they will be aware of a need for a consistency in support of bf), the chief exec of the PCT and if there is a bf lead in the PCT, send it to them as well.

You are not over-reacting.

Oh, how terrible, I would definitely complain to every board possible, as a few have said, it is not just with regards to breastfeeding but that your needs were not met, but the breastfeeding issue needs to be raised too.
Complain to the hospital about your needs not being met, and get onto as many breastfeeding organisations as you can to see if they can offer any advice, this hospital needs to be aware it is not acceptable.

If it was an NHS General hospital they should have a written policy on BFing.

That's so bad homerton, you must complain, that was unexcusable bad practice. I was admitted to hospital recently with pneumonia (so no op, but was in there for best part of a week). I was able to keep my lo with me the whole time so I could feed him. They bent over backwards for me, I was given a side room and all support and supplies necessary. At night the staff even insisted looking after lo so I could get rest, and bought him into me for feeding. This was on a gynae surgical ward - not what I was in for, but where the free side room was. When I had to refrain from feeding for a 24 hour period because of one drug, they arranged for a midwife to visit me who gave advice and support, plus a pump, supplies and enough formula. This is how it should have been for you too. My ds was only 6 weeks old, mothers and children should be offered this level of care regardless of age. It should be about patients' choices and respecting them.