Breastfeeding - when have they had enough?!

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Silly question here, but my son is three weeks old and is like a Labrador - he will keep seeking boob out, I think for comfort, but I think he is full up because he will be sick or uncomfortable afterwards when I try to put him down to sleep.

Typically, he will feed for 5 minutes, then I will change his nappy and he will want to go on, so I will put him back on, but then it seems to make him uncomfortable when I am trying to get him to nap, or he will be a bit sick on me later. Am I over feeding? Is he just rootling because he wants comfort (which is obviously fine) but isn't hungry?

If baby feeds once and seemingly well and then detaches themselves, can I assume he is full up and comfort him in other ways if he asks again?

He will often settle very comfortably if he just feeds once from the boob and twice can be a minefield - sometimes he is hungry and settles down well still and sometimes he won't but I am struggling to tell!

Bump!

Any breastfeeding experts on here?!

Congratulations on your newborn. It could be a few things but in principle you can't over feed a breastfed baby. It may be that they get too tired to keep feeding at that age but are actually still hungry, it may be comfort they're after or it may be a combination. Babies that age often after a bit sicky and they often fuss with trapped wind. In other words it is a bit of guess work at that age. Mostly they feed until they fall asleep - I always let mine sleep on, including if they carried on sucking because they're so little it really won't be spoiling them and it doesn't last forever. They're just out of the womb - have a Google of the fourth trimester. It is worth seeing if la leche league does online calls too - they're great for breastfeeding support

Oh also he will probably only want to sleep on you. That's normal but tricky when you want to get sleep yourself or do errands. If you have a good sling that's a huge help for getting things done.

Boob is the answer to everything! Sometimes they will suckle for hunger and sometimes for comfort, and sometimes they will cluster feed and just want to be on the boob all day. He is still so little I wouldn't worry about letting him latch on whenever he wants, you can't overfeed him and it's totally normal for small babies to be a bit sicky etc regardless. He will calm down and feed less often once he's a bit older.

I'm no expert but I'm still feeding my 2 year old now. Personally I'd say if he is looking for boob, give him boob, it generally does fix everything at this age (and older!). You can't really overfeed a breastfeed baby, he'll take what he needs and will sometimes just latch and suckle for comfort. I wouldn't bother trying to distract with other forms of comfort at this age, especially when you're still trying to establish your supply. Congratulations on your baby, enjoy all the newborn snuggles!

How's your supply? My youngest ended up over fed because of a big oversupply (confirmed with weight gain) - he'd look for comfort, get a face full, get uncomfortable and want comfort again. This would cycle round and led to a very unhappy baby. A dummy for comfort for a couple of weeks while things settled sorted it out.

At only 3 weeks old he is probably working hard on building your supply. It’s very, very rare that 5 mins is a long enough feed at age - feeds can be up to an hour in length. Breast milk is so easily digested that they can feed virtually continuously. New borns don’t want to put down.

Currently sat breastfeeding my 6 week old. As others have said, almost constant feeding is totally normal and helps build supply.
My baby also gets sick and suffers with wind. I've been told that breastfed babies don't get wind or need winding but mine certainly does. Try gripe water, this helps mine loads.
If you're on social media I recommend that you follow Lucy Webber and Milk Making Mama. They share lots of useful tips, videos and facts and have really helped me.
Contact your HV too if you need help in my area support is a bit of a postcode lottery due to covid. In some areas face to face support happens but in mine I'm only getting a teams meeting but it's better than nothing.
Good luck with it all. It's hard going and you're both learning as you go.

Also forgot to add..a little sick is totally normal. At 3 weeks old the oesophagus is still immature, hence the sick. I find keeping mine upright for 5/10 mins after a feed really helps.

Five minutes isn’t long enough. I found ten minutes each side the minimum to aim for to lengthen sleeping periods at night.
At this age they basically want to feed all the time and they know what they are doing. A little bit of throwing up is normal. Is he crying with discomfort or just squirming when you put him down. It’s common not to be able to put a baby of that age down as he will want to sleep on you or next to you.

Thanks all! Basically, he was absolutely fine until about 3 days ago and really didn't want to sleep on me - quite happy in his basket and was doing one 4 hour stretch overnight and the rest 3 - then he started throwing up after feeds and this has correlated with him not going down in his Moses basket and being really distressed before, during (pulling on and off) and after feeds, especially after, when he will get the hiccups and writhe around, especially when tired in the afternoons. Sometimes he will settle himself in his Moses basket and this seems to correlate with him having done a poo before and with a smaller feed, oddly. I think he is rootling for comfort due to wind, which is fine, but I think that when I do let him feed for comfort he gets acid reflux because he really is very sad and screams at me a lot when he gets tired and then gets overtired and the cycle is getting worse and worse/. I don't think it is hunger because it subsides for a bit when he is moving and he has just gone down in the pram, so he isn't too hungry to settle down, IYSWIM. My DD had unsettled periods and was fine snoozing on me, but nothing like this. He absolutely hates the sling so this is not a solution for us. And he won't just relax on me when he is like this and really agitated so my poor DD is witnessing a total shit shower every afternoon. He probably does do up to 10 minute on the breast - I have a really fast let down, so I can pump about 100ml easy in 10 minutes if I am well hydrated so not poor supply.

Today I fed him for 10 mins this afternoon, winding him mid feed, then held him upright for a further 10, then paced around for an hour of him screaming whilst he had hiccups, then all ok when pushed in the pram. It is awful.

This is all new to me - my DD was happy with sling and feeding, she did lots of small feeds, so I am not opposed to this!

The fussiness is probably less about consequences from feeding too much and more about the fact that this kind of wind and fussiness doesn't usually begin until about 2 or 3 weeks old in newborns. So more of a coincidence really! It all sounds pretty normal. Google 'the period of purple crying'... It's very informative. My advice would be to feed on demand as often and for as long as your baby wants. It's good for them and it is basically putting in the demand for your supply. Women often seem to have an oversupply in the early weeks and then it settles down. All the feeding will ensure your supply remains plentiful and enough for your baby in the weeks and months to come... And for growth spurts. The fussiness is normal, but the good news is that babies' wind and unsettled behaviour often calms down by about 3 months, if not sooner.

As for feeding time at the breast.... Anything from 5 minutes to about 45 mins is normal. Although if it's 5 minutes, it is worth letting baby go back on again when they want to. They can tire out quickly in the early days.

Beginning to not want to sleep in the cot or moses basket at your baby's age is normal too. They are so very sleepy in the first couple of weeks, but as they become more aware of their surroundings and are a bit more alert, they tend to want to only sleep on you!

Bringing up milk tends to start around your baby's age too, as your milk is increasing in quantity and baby is taking larger amounts.

Thanks @Somethingsnappy

I remember my DD having a few unsettled evenings for a few weeks. It's just a shock to the system to have my DS unsettled all the time. It really is never ending, though much worse in the afternoons, when I have them both. I guess I will just press on!

He could well be having a growrh spurt too; 3 weeks is one of the expected times.
Try holding him upright after a feed for a little while too. That should help with the wind and spitting up. Also, lying them on their backs and doing some gentle leg pedalling helps to ease painful intestinal wind.

Yeah, maybe it is that. I think he suffers a lot more with gastric stuff than my DD did, so perhaps it is just that he is super hungry and then irritated with a big feed - caught between a rock and a hard place. I always hold him upright after feeding for at least 15 minutes. It's the writhing, screaming and hiccups that are bad and then he gets overtired. That, plus the fact that in the afternoons feeding doesn't pacify him - feeding or not, he is just very angry!!! Oh well, I think I just need to revise my strategy - will sleep and rest up when DD is at present school and then take them out with the pram in the afternoons and keep him topped up. At least it will be less bad for me and DD if we are out in the fresh air!

Right, so I just want to say that every baby is different.

With respect to the lovely mums on here, I want to post an update to say that I am positive that the advice below is wrong for my baby, just so that if anyone searches this thread they have another view.

I did an afternoon the mumsnet way - feeding and letting baby snooze on me on the sofa. Fucking disaster. Poor quality sleep. Snacky feeds every time I woke him by moving. Hiccups from over feeding. Sick. Screaming.

I did a day the way I felt was probably right. Feeding every 3 hours or when he woke up and putting him down when tired at around 40 minutes, which was a lot shorter than the hour and a bit I was previously allowing him. He was a dream. Chilled out, slept a lot, took a proper feed, happy days.

Lots of wet and dirty nappies either way, but one way was chilled out and one way made everyone in the house extremely unhappy.

Turns out that I think my baby does only need a 5-10 minute feed - takes me that long to pump 80-100 ml breastmilk so stands to reason. Any more and he is so full he is sick and cannot settle at nap time. And he needs his naps - he is very happy not sleeping on me when not overtired. And he is better rested for it.

So the issue is overtiredness - when overtired, he tries to nurse for comfort furiously and then promptly brings it back up again.

Thank you for all your input. Seriously - it is always good to try things out, as you learn more by doing so.

If he wants to nurse for comfort.... as my ds2 did... try a dummy. Ds1 never needed one but ds2 did.

I would try a dummy but he clearly wants to duck his thumb, like my DD. I'd rather he did that in the medium term.