Really struggling breastfeeding :( when did it get better for you?

[jamie980]

Hi all, FTM here to 4 week old baby girl. I’ve found breastfeeding a struggle from the start, due to having flat nipples I couldn’t get her latched until I was referred to a breastfeeding counsellor and given nipple shields to use. She’s now fed 90% at the breast with a bottle or two of expressed milk overnight. She’s suffering badly with gas and reflux and I don’t know if it’s the shields to blame? I say this as it started when we transitioned to more feeds from the breast - she actually seemed better when she was purely on bottles. Despite the shields I’m still finding it pretty painful as she’s drawing my nipple into them and I can’t tell you how demoralising it is to grit my teeth through a full feed only to see what looks like the whole lot get thrown back up minutes later. I hate seeing her in discomfort and feel like it’s my fault for not being able to feed her properly. I’m trying to wean her off the shields but not having much success so far. I’ve seen the BF counsellor twice now and going back this week to check the latch - everyone has said it looks fine so far but I’m not sure. She’s gaining weight nicely and doing plenty of wet and dirty nappies so she’s getting enough I’m sure. But I can’t help but feel like a bit of a failure for not being able to feed her without the shields 😞 it’s making me feel pretty low about my body and my ability to nurture my baby naturally.

I don’t know really why I’m posting this but I guess I just wondered at what point breastfeeding ‘clicked’ for people, especially if you’ve had similar challenges? Or when issues like gas / reflux eventually resolved themselves?

Feeling pretty crappy about it all today and could do with some motivation. I really don’t want to give up.

Sat here feeding and feeling so much better today, just wanted to thank each and every one of you again, it means a lot that you all took the time to reply with such kindness, I really needed it xx

Well done OP ! I remember how stressful it was when I was struggling.

@jamie980 thanks for the tip, they aren't frothy though just a bit greeny/yellow. So hard when the Internet tells you on one hand its normal and on the other its not. I do wonder if I have oversupply though and/or some kind of fore/hind milk imbalance. Seeing the feeding team again tomorrow so will go with a long list of questions!

@footprintsintheslow thanks for the suggestion - we do actually have some reusables but they are a bit big for her at the mo, and with trying to get my head around pumping schedules etc haven't had the brain power to add in washing nappies to the mix too. Plus she poos about 10 times a day so not sure we'd be have enough reusables clean per day

I hear ya OP. I have an incredibly refluxy baby and one flat nipple!

I could never get on with breast shields but found that a lansinoh nipple extractor really helped for the first few weeks. Now that he’s bigger he can latch better and I don’t need to use it any more. Feeding really clicked for us at around 8-10 weeks and has been so much more simple since then.

Don’t feel bad about using the nipple shields - they don’t cause any harm and are facilitating your baby getting the best possible nutrition. You’re doing a brilliant thing

Thanks @CreosoteQueen - I tried the lansinoh latch assist in hospital but it didn’t work for me. Maybe it will now the shields have been drawing them out a bit. Will dig it back out. Encouraging to hear your baby was eventually able to latch - well done you for persevering and thanks for your encouragement! X

So sorry you are having a rubbish time, I don’t have time to rtft (currently doing feed before bed) but saw flat nipples I have flat sometimes inverted nipples

www.amazon.co.uk/Lansinoh-70170-Latch-Assist/dp/B00112EIWW?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 This has been a game changer. At about 10 weeks old dd was then strong enough to latch onto my flat nipple.

I think it was around 12 weeks for me. We had an awful time to begin with – milk was slow to come in, then mastitis, then thrush...but it did get better and from 12 weeks on it was mostly ok, with the occasional backslide in the form of blocked ducts and similar.