am I doing the right thing?

[dirtymonkey]

Dd is 9.5 months old and is still only going 2-3 hours without waking at night am I right in thinking she should be sleeping longer now.
She will be go back down without a feed if she is rocked (can take 20 mins or more) but is then even more unsettled.
I have tried shush/patting but she just screams & screams was only brave enough to try cc for 40 mins (don't ever want to do it again)
During the day she will rarely nap for longer than 45 mins usually twice so I normally leave her asleep in my lap or go to bed with her.
I have also posted in sleep but everyone in rl seems convinced it is all due to the fact that I am still bf and haven't tried ff

There's no 'should' about 'sleeping longer now'. Some babies do, some babies don't. It is very much on the normal spectrum for babies to wake and need some sort of comfort, contact, whatever to get back to sleep again, and 9 months is by no means especially 'old' for this behaviour.

If parents don't want this to happen, then they have options of teaching/training/ignoring/shushing, but IMO they're best doing this knowing it is their preference and not that their baby 'should' be doing something different

So - up to you, dirtymonkey

I wouldnt suggest changing the milk.
Giving more food during the day maybe.
What kind of bedtime routine have you got??
As tiktok and starlight said, this is about sleep, not feeding. Most babies will still wake at this age, the ddifference is that some are able to get themselves back to sleep whereas others are not.

Some babies just do this, I'm afraid. I don't think it's anything to do with being bf/ff esp after you've introduced solids. DS has always been a bad sleeper and I would have considered 3 hours a good stretch at this age, but if you want to do something about it you have various options (none of them worked for me but I have a hardcore non-sleeper!). Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution by E Pantley? That has lots of different methods you could try and does NOT involve cc.

oh and DS was also doing 45 mins max in daytime naps (usually more like 30 mins). He'll now nap for 1 or 2 hours at a time - he's 13 mo and I'm still bfing.

oh and my method runs as follows:

• feed them when they wake cos they go back to sleep quicker
• co-sleep esp after the first waking in the night
• relax cos it will all change in a few weeks anyway

We do co-sleep and I do feed her back to sleep it is the relaxing bit I'm struggling with at the moment EF!
I think with diwali & christmas coming up and having to turn down offers of nights out / baby sitters as we are not happy leaving her to cry especially if we aren't here, it is harder to keep believing we are doing the right thing.
I do believe it is just the way she is but I don't know if it is because I'm worried it is something I've done because I want her to keep "needing" me so I can justify not wanting to go back to work!

My 18mth old has never slept through (7-7)and was ff from 3 weeks... It's not a major disaster though - she is not crying for hours or anything. We have slowly changed things as necessary, teaching her new self-settling skills etc.

Have vowed with the next one not to even attempt any 'sleep training' (not that I have done that much - just felt I should have) til at least a year (if not more), just relax and enjoy co-sleeping.

Like Effie's philosophy!

It sounds like a sleep issue to me, your dd is not able to self sooth and get herself back to sleep but I do think it's unusual that she wakes so ofter and naps so badly. My dc that slept badly like that was the one who ended up at a craniel osteopath which truly worked wonders, I just wish I'd taken her at 9 months instead of 3 years. I wonder if she is uncomfortable and therefore actually wakes during her light sleep cycle rather then remainging asleep. If co-sleeping is your cup of tea try it but I think a cranial osteopath would would probably work wonders.

It is NOTHING you have done. Plenty of people here with sleeping and non-sleeping babies, exactly the same methods with very different results. Attending to your DD's needs does not make you a bad mother! Oh, and I found 9 months pretty difficult as DS wsa learning to stand up and crawl and all sorts and was very unsettled. But by that time I was fed up of trying to do the 'right' thing re sleep (e.g. self-settling and the rest of it) and just tried to go with the flow.

dirtymonkey - ds is 10mo today and has never slept through. don't judge your parenting successes on sleep, is your lo otherwise healthy, happy and active?

DD2 was still waking every 2 hours (lol, I typed years at first ) at about 10 months. To be honest I think it was alot to do with teething. I found that like your lo I could get her to sleep without a BF but it took about 40 mins or I could get her to sleep with a BF and it took about 5.

You could try having a read of "The no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley - at the very least it will make you realise that you don't perhaps have as much of a problem as you think and it might also give you some ideas.

Lots of sympathy from me though - every 2 hours is a killer because you don't have time to get a complete sleep cycle. I'm still BF at 2.9 years so it does get better

Thank you all I'm not expecting her to sleep 7-7 think if she did I worry even more that there was something seriously wrong with her!
I just felt (am continually told)she should be able to go more than 3 hrs even cuddled in our bed she can't do it.
Think I was beginning to believe it when I was told she would if she was ff - think at 9.5 months I would stop doubting that I had enough milk or if it was the best thing for her.